Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Baba' Baba' Baba' Baba'
Ese' o baba'
Ese' o baba'Awadupe Baba'
Yesso ndi nkem' like play like joke, we are in the month of kerimesi' the last lap for the year twenty o eight' Glory be to God for He has been loving, patient, faithful, benevolent, n above all FORGIVING despite our short comings;
The oda day a colleague was complaining abt how fast dis year was n how he was yet to achieve most of d things on his 'to-do-list-08', i then asked him 'if his plans were also God's plan' d bobo jus look me , shake him head say i too dey speak grammar' say how him go face him babe dis december without moto, omo' na so ur truly take 3steps backwards abi werrin i for do?? As for me moro or no moro i ll continue to thank God for d gift of Life o' after all one proverb say, 'when there is life, there is hope' cos na only pesin wey dey alive dey tink of buying keke or huma? so once again' THANK YOU FATHER for everything.
ehen' i just dey land from prisco blog n she dey complain abt fake products, d mata tire me o' cos nothin wey no get fake as far as we (u) dey concerned sotey we get fake bloggers ' dat one na according to 9jalines :)
NEWS-FLASH: mummy scoffield n oda bloggers wey wan send mi hampers' make una shine una eyes o' cos there are hampers n der are hampers' na so i 4all mugu last year wey i go buy one kind hamper like dat ' afta i see all d orisiri wey dem carry full on top i nor kno say na carton wey dem done soak 4 water for 2wks dem arrange 4 unda d nearly expired goodies, omo' i slap mysef dat day; So abeg even if na bags of rice una wan give mii' make una make sure dem no mix am wit kpokpo garri o :)
Talking of rice' i remember dos xmas /newyear day celebrations as children wey we dey chop all kind of orosiri rice 4rm arosun to abilikaki' all in d name of celebrating xmas' Na 4rm one room to anoda, we dey visit pple' na so we go wear our xmas clothes, carry red handbag, wear green wrist-watch (wey no dey work) nack pink eyeglass dey denge pose 4rm street to street dey tel pple wey we know, 'Aunty come do xmas for us' or ' Broda we dey come ur house o', after we don waka n chop rice n drink mineral tire, na strictly money we go dey collect, u go hear, 'aunty we no go chop rice o' dash us money ' mehn i miss dos days , maybe i shld upload one pix i took wit my white koi koi shoes lookin fly :) I wonder how kids of nowadays spend xmas? it cant be d same jare, all des shildren wey their eyes don dey chook 4rm belle ' Omotee na lie i talk??? :)
Yesso norrin dey happen but e be like say one thing wan happen o, i say make i use dis medium beg una' make una helep me beg Agbero say weda na by force? if no be say na one thing, na for television una 4 hear d mata, Bumight no rush me jare, i kno say u go defend am' shior! My pipo make una c me see wahala o' no be so i dey my own jeje yesterday dey listen to musiq naim my 4one beep say i get message, wen i check d message, c wetin my eye see...........
Happiness n joy forever with an
Incomparable lov dat ll never
Vanish till death do us part
Eyin temi' which kind
luv ruff play be dis?????????? :)
anybodi wey kno him garage, i need d address sharply'
OR who else una suspect wey send dat kind sms???
Abi na .........?? or na ..........?? :)
Monday, December 1, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
*No omokrikri /microchip
*No using of calculators/blackberry(s)
*Switch off all phones
*Xtra marks for ogbonge answers
2. U can eat
4. The Dictionary sometimes makes mistakes FFF/TEMITE/ALLIED
5. Democracy is not the best form of govt in 9ja STANDTALL, DOJA
6. If u can ride a bicycle....u can ride an okada AFRONUTS, KAFO
7. Kamala was a popular footballer in the 80's FINE BOY AGBERO
8. Arsenal football club is the besttest PRISCO/TINUADE/YEWANDE
9. Take ur height n divide by eight; dats how tall your head is NDQ,DEE
10. Dreams predicts future happenings 9JALINES, OLUWADEE
11. American celebrities are over-rated FRESH N FAB, SIRUS
12. Children grow faster during spring MUMMY TK/LADY A/KEMIE
13. UFO's don't exists STING/JAYCEE/PADOSH/INCOG9JA
14. Victims of yahoo-yahoo are as guilty as the perpetrators FEMI B, FQ
15. Its possible to cry under water MISSDEFMAYBE, SIMPLE GAL
16. All babies are born without kneecaps BUMIGHT, KINSHAR
17. You can kill ursef by holding
18. A cockroach has 9 lives BUTTERCUP/WRITEFREAK/9JAIDOL
19. Women play Golf MS. O, TOLUWA,JAMES'TUBMAN
20.Womens heart beat faster than mens ABABOY/ALOTE/SHUBY
21. 'Igo maltex' is often used to refer to a ....UZEZI, MIZCHIF
22.Pete edochie acted d part of... in d film thingsfallapart OMO'T/OMO'B
23. Who sang the 9ja song wit lyrics 'money4hand,bac4ground' NIKKI
24. What happened to d 'old woman' in d poem old Roger is dead ISHA
25. Complete the saying,' 'wetin consign malu wit ..... 30+, ALOOFAA
26. What is the d 2nd to d last verse of the 9gerian national anthem OLAMILD/SABIRA/EKNOR
27.What is the name of the 9geria jaga-jaga crooner FLUFFY,POETI
28.Which character in d cartoon 'voltron' used d blue lion SHA,RAYO
29. Kunta' kinte was a character played by the protagonist in the film ...UCHEVELI,ORIGINAL MGBEKE
30. IF ur blackberry falls into d loo, wat will u do? XSN/CHARI/VERA
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
for alotedbabe(who doesnt know who 'samuel peters' is) Dearie' now u kno' :-)
BTW: WHO LOVES BOXING???????? n WHY????????????
Friday, October 10, 2008
everything's cool around here except for traffffffffffic, mehn' i dey parannoyed with Bros. Fash ' cos i nor understand why dem reopen 3rd mainland bridge' haba!!! under 1wk,
CNN say d traffic feva don reach there :)-
I for say make i sharply relocate to jand abi na yankee but they too get their own 'scoin-scoin' Just dis week (tuesday) one oyibo nearly delete my 9ja broda simply because say the bobo wear 'Obama' teeshirt' **claps hand amebo style** Eyin temi' no be small thing o' the 36yrs old civil servant (Dube Egwuata) go buy top-up card for him phone' when the bolo just waka go meet am begin threaten am say him go delete am, Dube being think say na joke until him realise say bolo meant business' naim him quick quick zip up him jacket to cover the 'believe' teeshirt but 'whosai' dat one just enta 'voicemail' cos as soon as Dube enta him car naim bolo go shoot am ** sigh of relief ** But Thank God say 'our' broda no 'kpeme' although him sustain injury for him face, hand and shoulder and Dangote' say, i must relocate to jand' make him come jack my shirt :-) but omo the kind yawa wey dis 'Obama' don cause for we 9gerians....my mouth no fit talk am o' **scratches chin** i wonda werrin go happen IF 'Obama' becomes Presido ' (the lobbying no go get mate, i sure say sum pple go wan be him special adviser 4rm 9ja) lol neways dis is wishings the 'data analyst' a quick recovery'
Ehen' talking of politics, my fellow Legosian (according to Bola tinubu) una don hear say 2morrow (oct 11 2008) na local govt/ council elections, so make all of una go remove una 'voters card' 4rm inside dat portmanteau ' prepare to carry go vote 2morrow (its ur civic right and duty) as for me, i go vote after i don sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep belle full (and i go vote for SDP) :-) talking of SDP who remembers Bashiru Tofa?? dat NRC presidential candidate wey contest with MKO'.....yesss na him, i wonder wat happened to him after the june 12 buhaha' (he jst disappeared n talking of tofa wat abt dat
senator Salisu Buhari? (him don graduate?) Bottomline: Prisco, Afronuts, Standtall, Nikisab, Uzezi n oda Legosians Make una vote wisely' 9ja o ni baje' o
Moving on..... Your's truly has decided to stop eating FISH, yessso i had to take dat decision before i begin sick wetin no get name' **sigh** Yestaday evening i was stuck in traffic at bonny camp, 'those conversant with the bridge kno dat in the early evenings u ll see a group of boys selling fresh fish (apperantly caught from the river/ocean/water) on the road side, I dont patronise dem tho' cos dem no dey sell my kind of fish (octopus) omo dat fish is a killer mehn as in e sweet baje :-)' ....... so i was stuck on the bridge' naim i say make i use my eyes browse thru d fishes wey dem display' as i look ground na only small kinkili crayfish i see, i begin wonder weda the boys nor kno say now na the peak period to sell their market, as i look up 'i see one fisher boy tanda one kind, as i strech my neck to see weda him don catch 'fish' , naim i see say the bolo use him left hand hold the reel while him right hand hold him 'kini' (no ask me the color) dey 'pissssss' for inside the water wey him dey catch fish wey 'we' dey 'chop' omo na so i faint '
Have a fabulous weekend
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
One day bush meat go catch d hunter
One day bush meat go catch d hunter
Catch d hunter, catch d hunter...... sound sultan
I got a distressing phone call from a friend, Noooo!!! He didn’t lose his job, phone or his girlfriend, rather he lost his car, as in his car was STOLEN from the CHURCH where had gone to worship GOD, but that’s not the issue, the koko is that 'Emy' has decided to quit the Catholic Church, their offence: They still cant xplain how the vehicle was moved from their parking lot *sigh* Your’s truly has spent the last 1hour begging him via the net to no avail, not that i blame him tho' i remember how he scratched n saved to buy d helicopter, oops! i meant car :-)
But make una wait o!! Why we no dey fear God sef?? Imagine' going to steal from the Church (despite the fact dat we thief 4rm our parents, husband/boyfi, wife/girlfi, office, government, market, school, friends, colleagues, passengers, customers) *hiss* Haba!! or isn’t the church supposed to be a sacred place?
This seems to be the latest trend cos’ two weeks ago, my colleague also lost her bag (containing every…) in one of the pentecostal Churches where she had followed her friend to worship, according to her, she only left her seat to give offering not knowing dat her bag was being eyed, dem search for the bag soteeeey……… neways i don tell her say, The person wey borrow her bag don buy gbese (wetin i go tell 'Emy'??)
But Ndi nkem, there’s a twist to this stealing in the church gist o’ Dangote was telling me on sunday, that after mass he had seen a N1000 note on the floor close to the exit and was also sure other parishioners had seen it too but were either scared/shy to pick it, Him too jejely walked pass the money; NOW could it mean that they are no thieves in that parish, or that they didn’t attend that mass?? (i don ask una 4 questions o)
On a lighter side, dis money for ground matter just remind me of those days we used to play pranks (nowadays Shi’dren na only ps2 and shakira dem sabi) *wide grin* so on this particular day, awon boys don arrange handkerchief with paper inside (una remember how our papa/mama dey keep money inside handkerchief then tie am so e no go lost?) ehen’ na so awon boys tie the hanky then keep am for middle of road, go hide for corner to see the oju-kokoro wey go pick am thinking say na money dey inside; After some mins, one Baba appear for street, when he got to where the hanky was lying, he use his leg to kick ‘it’ forward like football, we began to giggle anticipating his next move; Baba-wise continued to kick the 'hanky' at the same time looking behind him to see if anyone was watching, when he had gotten to the end of the street, na so all of us rush out from our hideout' begin pursue am dey shout’
Ole! Ole! Baba Ole!!! Baba Ole!!! omo as soon as Baba-wise see us, na so him pick up the hanky begin tear race...... laugh nearly bend me :-)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Ladies n gentlemen, bois n gals, mamas n papas, bloggers n non-bloggers, Una good morning o’ how una dey?? I hope no sme-sme ; yessssooooo as far as baba loke remains baba loke (no rival), norrin do all of us :) Amii o
The other day i saw a mad woman been chased by some officials of the Lagos state traffic management authority (lastma), mehn you need to see how the woman was zooming in n out of traffic; it’s miracle she wasn’t knocked down by a car *sigh* but madness no be beta thing o' or how can one live for years without knowing who or where he/she is.
The dictionary defines it as a relatively permanent disorder of the mind;
harsh but true, i know of a mad man (not spaco) that calls everybody ‘aunty’ he even calls introduces himself as “aunty”; as soon as he sees you, he walks up to you n says, "aunty, aunty wan chop o, i say aunty wan chop o", but when you give am money, na for chewing gum that money go end up (i kid not) no matter how much u give him and u dare not beg him o if u no want c madness in action:) He has been/still is like dat.
There's another one close to law school, he is always clad in a sweater and box (no -er to complete am) whenever there a lil traffic he goes to dos driving flashy cars to beg for money, him even get fine voice sef, u go just hear, 'Give me money' nothing like 'please o' ( wetin consign mad man wit abeg) i use to pity him cos he wasn't aggressive untill i caught him red handed smoking dat thing, mehn my luv for him flew out of the danfo bus one time' *loud hiss* nansense see pessin wey i been get plans for' shiorr
The women nko na another matter, apart 4rm the fact that they are molested n sum times impregnated (for rituals and other sadistic purposes), they also are exposed to all sorts dehumanization from the society, who believe they have been cursed for partaking in one evil or another; but i wonder how these women cope during dat time of the month, or dem no dey see dat thing????
Ndi nkem, i don think dis madness matter soteyyyyyyyyyyy' before i begin kolo make i ask una......
1. What causes madness ???
2. Is it all mad men dat smokes?? (all d ones wey i kno dey smoke)
3. Can it be cure as in totally
4. Is it hereditary (sum claim it is)
5. Is it possible for non-smoker to start smoking as soon as he becomes mad
6. Is being mad d same thing as one partially losing his/her memory
7. Who is responsible for taking care of dem (the govt/their families)
8. How true is the statement dat, all humans are entitled to 5mins madness daily
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I have been harassed 3 times..
The Ist time was when i was in j.s.s2 and had recently started sprouting dem breasts tho’ they were more like small oranges :) it was the era of bra tops and I had lots of colors to choose from (thanx to mumsy) On dat fateful afternoon i was on my way to see my classmate who hadn't come to school.The journey was rather un-eventful, till I felt a hand on my breast; it was the man sitting beside me; He slowly began touching me but i didn’t shout, cry...... nothing; the assault continued till we got to the last bus stop n he quickly got down n disappeared, as in when i got down, i couldn’t find him; the funny thing was dat nobody noticed n even if they did, no one say anything. I continued my journey to my friend’s place n didn’t tell her or any person wat happened (wat could they have done?) i didn’t know the perv's name or where he resides; i couldn’t even remember wat he looked like; But looking back on dat incident.. asides the fact dat i am a shy person, i stil cant explain why I didn’t scream my head off; maybe i was in shock or na jazz :)
The 2nd time: The culprit was sonny spaco (a mad man dat lived in my neighborhood) it wasn’t serious o’ before una begin hyper ventilate; he was only doing wat he knows how to do best….. which was to touch other people’s breast, but mehn no be small thing o’ i jst tank God say no be only me sha! It wasnt too long after the first incident, 3 of my friends (classmates) had followed me home; after gisting n entertaining dem wit con'des and rondo-rondo, we all left my house to visit another classmate, as we got to the bus stop, a man appeared in front of us, before we could shout 'whoiberat?!?!?!' He begin press our breast(s) pium! pium! pium! pium! like door bell, eyin temi' una need to see how we pick race, the next day at school i apologise tire b4 dem go say i set dem up :)
The 3rd time, It was during my 2nd year in school, i was on my way to visit my friend (toria) she resides in ikotun-egbe, she had given me the addy but 4got to tell me dat i have to take a bike (okada) to her house, na so i stop one okada, only for the driver inform me dat he carries two passengers, instead of me to double the price so he can take me alone, na so i tanda dey for wait the 2nd passenger, a man finally came n after haggling wit the driver, sat behind me. the driver had only driven for some mins, when the passenger behind me began to mumble and gyrate as in.....up & down, up & down' omo' i cldnt move, which kind winchy be dis?? i just began to pray dat toria's house wasnt far, i think d driver noticed the action, bcos he stopped driving n asked the man to get down, to come down nko? na anoda tori, the driver had to force him down. It was when we had gotten to toria's house dat d driver warned me neva to share a bike wit other passengers esp men *loud hiss* good samaritan, why him no tell me before shior! But after dat incident, i became very harsh as in, if anybody... weda man/woman/boy/girl conciously or otherwise touch my kini, i dey nearly kill d pessin wit bad eye *grins* the tactics had been working for me until....
Dat that friday evening, i had boarded a bus 4rm Ajah going to obalende though my destination was TBS, It was one of dos unusual days when there was no traffic, we had gotten the the civic centre when i felt a hand caressing my thigh, i screamed or rather shouted yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa!! (dis one pass ouch!! o) and raised my legs, my first thought was 'it's a dog or cat’ but how come??’ by dis time the driver had parked n everyone was starring at me, i looked behind n saw one bolo looking at me one kind, na so i give him am Gbosaiii'
'U no dey fear, u no dey fear, u touch me’ i stammered, standing up.
He held his face with one hand n pushed me wit d other,
‘Eh u push me’ as i my raised my umbrella to hit him, the condor held my hand
‘Leave me' i screamed 'i must wound dis goat 2day, shey u no dey fear’, i fumed
‘U nor fit do anything, i touch u?’ the bolo asked
‘So u still get mouth ehn, i go show u today, useless man’ i screamed
‘Sistah, e don do' abeg forgive am' some passengers began pleading;
‘Make una no beg me o' 'i mus deal wit am', i retorted, 'driver make we dey go'
The journey continued and i began strategizing, i didnt want the bolo to go scot free, i wld luv to hand him over to the police (at least he go chop beating) and i kno the police headquarter (zone 2) was close to the bus stop i was to alight, but if the bolo was going to obalende, how can i single handedly drag him out of the bus???? but my people, mathew 7:7 proved itsef o, cos bolo then informed the conductor that he was alighting at onikan (the same bus stop i was to alight) omo una need to see how i begin shine ma' teeth :)
We finally got to onikan, i alighted and began look for any uniformed officer around before the bolo runs away but as soon as he came down i heard
'Aunty sorry, abeg no vex na d.......' i walked off b4 he finished talking
Thursday, August 28, 2008
....Woke up by 2.30am, 30 mins later it was still 2.30 am, 5hrs lata........... yeepa, battery ti' ku :)
....Prayed for oluwadee, nikisab, f f f, toria(my padi) n every oda person getting married dis year; as for u (singles) this year no go pass una .......... I say dis year no go pass una *Amii*
....Spent less than ## mins in the bathroom (norrin do me)
....Noticed my tummy's becoming too flat (sneezes), sum bori Help!!!!
....PHCN flashed us light after several weeks of black out; Up Nepa!!!!
....Burnt my thigh while ironing, see pix here *giggles uncontrollably*
....Over heard my neighbour (next building) kpokpoing her husband; (chai!!)
....Paid N300 to Ajah instead of N200; *hiss* i been wan claim staff but i nor see fine boi agbero *grins*
....Spent 2hrs on the 3rd mainland bridge, it was awful; wished I had boarded Lg canoe services
....Listened to ‘E go betta’ by Tony tetuila on wazobia; brought tears to my eyes
....Sat besides a woman breast feeding her child (see as she just xpose her kini) con'dor wan’ look die :)
....Saw an agadi e’kwenka/old mama youngi wearing ‘show me ya breast/nyash’ rabbish!! if dem get chance, i sure say dem go wear skinny jeans *hiss*
....Wondered how many people know their purpose on earth
....Noticed a gala hawker praying by d road side; (u don pray 2day?)
....Imagined wat Lagos wld look like without poverty, child abuse and CRIME...one minute silence for the victims of the oceanic bank robbery at orile
....Saw a group of men being arrested by KAI, their offence??? Trekking on the 3rd mainland bridge; (but why we no dey hear word????) *hiss*
....Watched a naval officer kick the butt of a danfo driver; dos drivers ...
....Wondered how fashola is going to rehabilitate Lagos area boiz.
....Saw a pool of blood on the road side, close to my office n wondered if it belonged to an okada man or an okada man (they r very reckless)
....Saw Mtn’s latest tv ad, luurve it esp when 'dayo' (my celeb son) whistled
....Saw Mariam anazodo after a lonnnnnnng time; she looked gud
....Read, Senator Uche chukwumerije has petitioned the world taekwando federation over the poor officiating in the tournament in the just concluded beijin olympics where uche(his son) won a bronze medal for 9geria. He alleges racism (ok na!!)
....Read, the federal road safety corps have mandated ALL okada riders n their passengers to wear helmet/headgear beginning 4rm 2009 (abegii, i go buy my own helmet; i no wan contract kpof-kpof) lolllll
....Read, Obama escaped an assasination attempt; (na waoooooooo!!)
....Read Ndi onyuike okereke (obama gate) might not lose her job afterall;
....Wondered how a man can invest 500 million in a church; (kini big deal??)
....Decided to let go n let God; It is well!!!
....Called seyi to book an appointment for Saturday :)
....Thought of the perfect pressie to give prisco and mizchif on their baffday(s) apart 4rm my prayers *winks*
....Wondered wat happened to Naijachickito, Duchess, Onome, Naija fine gurl, simple gal, In my own words, l'amour, minky, nogo, Sherri,Ynot, ibo-dude, boldfaze, doja, darkelcee, TLK and odas???
....Imagined how many bloggers I had unknowingly walked passed in tejuosho, opps!!! i meant shoprite, :)
....know the Ist blogger to comment on dis post; it’s the one n only......... lollllllll
....Have a blessed day xoxoxoxo
PS: a big shout out to my peeps (Dee, prisco, f f f, nikisab, aphrodite, chi-grace, mizchif, ynot, ibo -dude, chioma-mom, dbalone, aijay, tobenna n odas)
Ibo kwenu!! Happy Biafra-day Celebration!! Nautin me'ga :)
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Our first 'Silver' medal since the Beijin olympic began, sum bori shout Halle............... (wide grin)
C’mon guys, cheer up!!!!!! The samson siasia led 'dream team' deserves commendation and nothing else (who dey murmur for there????) :)
'Chari i hope, you no bet wit anybody o', lolllll Aloofaa wat abt u??
I spent the first 45mins sleeping, Oops!! :) more like consulting and the oracle revealed to me (yes me) dat we ll be going home with a Silver made 4rm gold plates (sic) so make una take am easy o, the boyz played their heart out. Remember ' it was still these ‘ojoro-loving’, ‘jersey-pulling’ 'time-wasting' argentines dat trashed almigh’ry brazil 3 naughts!! (grins)
Yesso today shld be a good day for ALL Nigerians esp for dos in the world of sports cos we went, we saw and we …………. :)
London 2012 is another opportunity for us to prove oursef, so preparation shld begin NOW!! (i hope NNF is reading)
But even as i listen to the boys shouting, ‘they robbed us again!!' outside my window, I cldnt help but ask myself 2 questions:
* Wat happens to the team now esp Samson siasia????
* Wld mikel have made any difference in the team???? *sighs* E go better jare,
On a lighter note; Did u guys hear about the four Horses that failed the dope test in the show jumping competition, *grins* they were suspended after testing positive to the banned substance capsaicin but nawa for this oyinbo people o, thank God our own scoin-scoin neva reach dat level, lollll
Later guys, I've got a date with ‘Merci’ after all' the book of knowledge commands us to celebrate wit those celebrating *winks*
Have a fun-filled w’end,
Norrin do us!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
9ja... dis na 9ja...
9ja.... i dey gbadu 9ja oo....( x3)
4 big gbosas!! 4 the 'dream team' jare, gbosa! gbosa!! gbosa!!! gbosa!!!!
9ja, we too 'mush' (now repeat after me) we too 'mush' *grins*
but seriously, i owe dos bois plenty shepe o!! esp nsofor, anichebe, obasi, van zekin, obinna n my osaze, ohhh osaazz, see ya eye, ya ear, ya teeth, ya leg, ya ...... n ya....... (sb tweaks Lg ) *lol*
yesso!!! we proved it today n ll do so again come saturday at the finals.
(i just hope 'lionel merci' contracts jedi-jedi friday nite sha) *evil grin*
Haba!!! E nor easy o!!, since Olumpic (according to our mallam) start, 9ja neva win (not even 1/2 ) Gold medal, a whole giant of africa, the bois kno Lg wont have dat else, they' be 4gotten in china, *lol*
but sum 9gerians are funny o, everybodi wan represent; after d match i started hailing everybodi in the office, *up 9ja! we trashed 'em*; i come carry my kurukere leg go meet our GM (gate man),
' baba, 9ja too mush o, shebi u watch d match?' i asked, and he replied,
'sisi mi, why not, i watching it na, see all the goals wey papilo score?? dat boyz sabi play o' in my head "huh??? 4 where baba see kanu??? was it 4rm his kchibo radio???", lolllllllll
Norrin do us sha!!! WE WON!! :)
Now, abt how i got my face-lift;
I went to see my sistah (a friend actually), after chilin with her n her daughter(very cute gal) She told me she was looking for a house-help n wants to enlist the help of an agency, but the only problem was dat, she doesnt kno if she shld ask for a male or female help, she asked for my opinion n i began to sing 'palava u dey find, palava u go get it oooo'
(in other words, 4get it) shocked, she asked why? n i told her .....
*U wake up by 8am one morning (already late for wrk), runs into the bathroom, u r abt to hang ur towel, when u see Red (yes a red) shikili g-string hanging on the shower rack, knowing ...
(1) U dont own/wear one,
(2) Its just u, hubby, ur 2yrs old daughter and..... risi ur house-help
U madly walks (runs) to risi's room with d 'offensive garment'. U find her sleeping n shouts at her, 'Risi! Risi! c'mon wake, cant u hear me? get up!!', U hit her not too gently on d back, 'My friend c'mon wake up', she opens her eyes and non nonchalantly looks at u, this infuriates u more n u scream at her "who is the owner of this..... this thing!!, i saw hanging in the bathroom..... my bathroom!!????
Risi looks at the g-string, takes it 4rm u n examines it (she nearly smell am sef) then loudly exclaim, shaking her head. 'Madam no be my own, i nor kno who get am, even sef u fit ask oga, him kno say i nor dey wear pant!! ( hehehehe Ebenebe!!! na LG get am *hiss*)
*U r bathing ur daughter on sunday morning, whilst playing n asking her questions abt her friends/teachers in school, u finish washing her 'kini' but just to be sure there r no poop hiding hiding *grins* u begin to probe with ur fingers, When suddenly ur daughter exclaims, 'oohhhh Mommy!!!! you are doing what uncle-okon (house help) use to do to me........ skip!!!
Eyin temi, i neva even finish d tory before my friend give me 'Gbaun!!'
una see me see wahala??, abi nor be she ask for my opinion?????? *sigh*
Newayz, make una choose for her, male or female house-keeper????
My face neva recover
This is to inform the blog ville that LG will only update if the U23 'dream team' of 9geria beats the Belgian's 'red devils' today at the semi-final soccer event in the on-going Beijing 2008 Olympics.
The match starts by 9gerian time pere!!
Thanks for your co-operation
PS: All d soccer praya warriors in the house, take note.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Wat abt these guys....
Una still dey laff???? *looks around for koboko*
K'mon go down on
Have a super weekend. Cheers!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Hi guys, hope u r all doing fabulously well. Like we all know today is an unusual day because
Also the Beijing Olympic starts today in China, n we are hoping dat our own U23 *The Dream Team* ll do us proud (like in 1996) and bring home the Cup, i also hope the god of Samson Siasia is reading this, if not i ll personally sack him b4 NFA sorry NFF does *winks*
Dat aside, on dis unusual (wet) day, i woke up to the blast of 'wat wont u do 4 love by tupac' from my bro's room, 'in my head', LOVE ke? dis kind early mor-mor, see how tupac just dey rake , lollll
But dis love matter done show me pepper o, i remember doing lots of nansense all in the name of love, one time like dat, i sent my one of my friend to PH to beg my bobo, (nor be say him catch me o, tufiakwa!!) i just felt he wasnt paying me much attention unlike b4 (sucks right? i kno) na so i gather all my money, send my namesake to PH (thank God sef say na ifesinachi she enter) she see the bobo n d bolo begin to yarn nansense abt me, he said i too love LOVE, now guys when did that become a crime???? to cut the long story short (cos some pple eye wan bulge comot) *grins* I fash'ied him.
Another time like dat, i was going out (not dating) with a guy in school, dis guy invites one babe like dat to his house, d babe spends d nite n in the morning wears his jalabia gallivanting the neighbourhood (na pple tell me o) when i asked confronted him? He told me she didnt come with extra clothes n dat she couldnt go back to the hostel because she was lonely; Mumu3 like me believed him, not knowing dat they were seriously dating n doing it at nite, this went on 4 a while but since i never caught dem at it, i believed i was the only sugar in his tea (b4 una begin to curse me, e don tey o) till he later confessed to me dat the babe was his girlfriend. How i reacted?? Story for another post :):)
Now guys its
While u r at it enjoy dis one, also from our sponsors;
A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money!!, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then Pow!! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend 'My wife found out.....'
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Hehehehehehe see dem, see how dem dey rush to come know how seyi take break bottle my head, i even sure say some people neva baff sef, pple like ...... erm make i mention names?? una kno una sef jare, *grins* neways back to d 'koko', I went to seyi's salon n we talked, deep talk but sorry to dissapoint u guys, seyi no slap me! neither dis she insult me! so make una swallow una laff; Afro and Mz dee i said stop laffing...
*clears throat* So dat sunday afternoon, i went to seyi's salon to make my hair, fortunately for me i was the only client so i had her to mysef i.e if her 4one doesnt ring; We had chosen a style and seyi was halfway done, when a guy walked in, 'in my head' Oh no! after all my fasting n prayas (i kid) luckily the guy just came to buy airtime, but to go kwanu! 4 where??, he just dey there dey play wit d 4one, (dis guy runs don enta voicemail, lia lia seyi is not going anywhere) as i dey plan how i go 'spoil him runs, bobo begin make calls (still inside), at a point, i noticed seyi stopped weaving, i ask her wats was wrong, she said nothing then continued but as soon as d bobo finished his call, thanked seyi n left, she just leave my hair, begin to clap hand (dat kind 'dis life nawa' kind of clap) and she told me dat .....
the bobo dat just left was on the 4one with his married lover in bayelsa, i asked her how how she knew and she said she understood the guy's dialect n dat the bobo was asking the babe about his son. from his conversation (according to seyi ), it seems the babe (newly wedded) put to bed last month or so and her bouncing baby boy is a dead ringer of bobo, now bobo wants to know if its 'safe' for him to come and visit.
at dis point i just dey look seyi like dopemu, which kind deception be dis??? Bobo knew Babe was married yet he went ahead to do it with her (who know how many times sef) resulting in Bobo junior, now he's afraid to go n visit (as a well-wisher) for the fear dat Hubby might notice d resemblance; But 4 how long?? While seyi was blaming the bobo, i was blaming the babe (why she open ?) even sef which kind woman go do sumthing like dis ???? *sigh* my pipo if care is not taken, i go traful to bayelsa o
BTW: Guys, guess the no.1 song in my neighbourhood ....
When the going is smooth and good, many many people.....
Who remembers it??? Rocked it??? n still has it???
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Eyinn people, werrin dey?? hope no 'wahala'. but wait o!! una see yesterday's 'hold-up'? Mehn....dat one don pass traffic o, i actually wished i could fly home.*grins* but what'a gwan with lagos n traffic sef or e get where dem dey 'dash' people motor??? cos everyday na so cars dey 'boku' for road; if so make i go collect two 'tear-nylon' o, one 4 my sef and one 4 my Granny; at least i wld be happier knowing she now goes to the farm with her RAV4 or CRV, lol hard to imagine shey?? Gran-momsy behind the steering with hoe/cutlass/basket on the passenger's seat LMAO. But seriously, i wonder how pple'll cope when the FG closes 3rd mainland bridge (for repairs) on saturday, i sure say pple go dey enter canoe go work (nor be laffing marrer o) but come to think of it,its another way of making money o, i only need to buy plenty 'canoe' from 'oworonshoki', hire some drivers/divers with one or two life jackets (i cant shout) and charge passengers like 200 bucks per trip ( e nor cost o, remember say i go settle 'agbero' plus no go-slow), LG canoe transport services ltd don 'set' be dat :) or how una see the idea?? all the investment /financial experts in the house, holla!! :-)
(i digress) Yesterday's traffic was terribly o, d annoying thing is dat u can neva tell wats causing it n today doesnt look any different, dis lagos sef!! *hiss newayz' as i alighted at my bus-stop, alarm begin tear me' i then remembered there was no food in the house, so i strolled to the ms. small (no free advert) close by to get 'beans n dodo' (one my favourite) after getting my food i decided to eat it there (free A/C plus Dstv) i had taken like 5 spoonful then heard clank! clank! clank! i looked up and saw a babe seated adjacent me, eating meatpie wit cutlery; Now i have a problem' n dat problem is dat 'i sabi laff', i nor mind where i dey o, as far as i see sumthing wey funny, hehehehehe go jus come out; so when i see dis mgbeke feeling funky dey battle meatpie n fork, my hehehehe change to hohohoho :-) i cldnt control it o, ofcourse the babe knew why i was laffing, cos she gave me one wicked bad eye, then resumed the WWF, una need to c her face as the fork nor gree co-operate with the knife :-) for my mind 'make dis girl nor chook/cut hersef o, abi na by force?? even the (fine sistah, anything for d boyz) security guards noticed it and were giggling but d babe no send us, IF nor be say i too love 'my face' i for 'snap' her when she dey chop and upload am 4 una :-) but WHY babes like to 'form'?????? (me i no go lie' i used to form till i disgrace mysef n even got a nickname Bouncing Okpa, lollll i ll tell u guys abt it ONLY if u promise not to laff. *grins* but una neva my question o, i say why 'some' babes too dey 'form'???????
UPNEXT: MY HAIRDRESSER 2 (THE REVELATION) **STAY TUNED!!!!**