Lets talk about sex

i.e about our kids having sex, (sigh) my people, it is wit a heavy heart i type this post; My friends ll tell u i'm crazy abt children n its d truth' tho i dont have any (yet), i love cute, intelligent, smart, stubborn, infact all kids (including d 'mommy i want aunt Lg's face ones :-) but i m no longer sure who is a child n who isnt; yesterday i went to visit a sick colleague n bumped into her neighbour's 4yr old kids doing it; as if dat wasnt bad enuf, there are brothers infact twins; how manage?? who tot dem?? moreover these were children 4rm a good moslem home, so how come they knew abt it?....cartoons? music? neways i left their mom weeping and thinking of how to tell her husband.

Last term, my ikotun friend (i talked abt her here) almost went mad, d reason....alan got back 4rm school n asked her if her kini was red? dat a boy in his class claims his mum's own was very red; Oginni?!? raked my friend, 'Where d teacher dey wen dem dey discuss dat kind thing 4 class??? wasnt She supposed to be their guardian/shielder??. After confronting the teacher (n d proprietress) she withdrew her kids 4rm d school. wen she narated d incident to me, i asked her wat was her reply to alan :-) But seriously, wat is happening to our children? scratch dat, What are we doing to Our children???

I still recollect my elder broda chasing me n my sister out of room weneva we r watching tv and a man is kissing a woman (infact as soon as d man n woman begin look each oda one kind, my broda go Order us outside, sometimes i run to my neighbour's room to watch it, or i 4get about the film n start to play with my lil' sis; i cant remember how old i was then, but i knew i resented him for it (b4 nko? :-) till date, my dad's favourite programmes on tv are NTA network news and Tales by moonlight n we dare laff even wen they went on commercial (i still miss dat presenter) But today nko, which pikin get News time?? they prefer yori-yori:-)

Babijide salu, Mrs Salu, Mummy TK, Naijalines, Doja, Simispeak, Black james bond, Bimbylads, Lolu-Kush, Fluffycutething, Mojisola, Standtall, Mommy, Dee, Chioma-mom, Oyin, Isi, GOODnaijagirl, Kemmie, For the love of me, Yarmama, 30+, Lady A, Teachers, Parents, Pastors/Imam, FBA, NBC, BON, DBANJ (they adore u) Is there hope for Our Children??? How? Where? When?

ps: (for tots) How wld a 7/8/9/10yr old rate my blog? (ie apart 4rm gushing over my profile pix and my grammar :-) What about yours? How would a child Rate your blog?????

ONLY IN BLOGVILLE (OIB)

Hi there, remember me??? Ofcourse u do :-) how una dey?? i'm still enjoying my leave but felt like publishing (some of) my drafts b4 someone hack into it; u tink its not possible??? okay o' lol; neways dis post was supposed to be published after my blog anniversary but chelsea's no 1 striker *Bayo disappearance from the team made me reschedule it; no be small thing o, even abramovich was involved in d search :-) *the yeye boy has returned home jare (he resurfaced d day man-u managed to beat arsenal :-) Thanks guys for your concern, d problem now is how 2 remove my number 4rm mummy's phone (the world cup is around d corner, i cant shout!!

500 amazing/ funny / weird things i ve learnt 4rm blogville
1) language is not a barrier
2) some stalk to be 1st, while odas bad-belle u for being 1stttttt :-)
3) age is nothing; one smallie go read ur post and leave comment like; babe u be mumu o, u no kno say bla bla blah :-)
4) age is nothing; we are never too old to learn new/old stuff;
5) cliques/bigzboys & gals networks also exist in 9jablogville;

6) humour is very effective but not everyone will lol/lmao/rotfol

7) a simple thought can be around the world in seconds

8) blogging under ur real name can sometimes have dire consequences
9) comment moderation is the bestest thing after guguru n epa;

10) the impact a blog can have in the world is more than most bloggers realize.

11) some bloggers take things 2 personal e.g nobemenuna

12) one blogger go get like 7 blogs, 3 of dem get branches = 13 blogs:-)

13) a problem shared is not always solved (True orFalse

Erm....i kno i said 500 things (na beans???) but blame it on ma keyboarddddd:-) now ur turn' wat have blogville tot u???

CODE BLUE!!! MISSING PERSON ALERT

*clears throat* I had to interrupt my blog-annual-leave to post this annoucement, plz treat as urgent.

A young man has been reported missing by his *mum.

His name is *Bayo Mattew Adeolowo

He is in his late teens and hails from Ogun state

He is 5ft 7 and dark in complexion

He was last seen at a Guiness viewing centre,

wearing a *Chelsea No.14 jersey

along *itire road, surulere lagos.

Pls if sighted, call contact the nearest police officer/OPC

or elgeeeee via *ladyguide.blogspot.com

Thank you.

GUNNER4LIFE

(To bayo) O'boy you berra dey haus b4 i come back 4rm wrk' dis evening, abi you wan give your mama hypertension????? ahnn ahh' *She don call me reach 20 times since morning (ie plus *flash) even sef' which kind biz you and *chelski get????? abi you know drogba 4rm him village??? eh! i say answer mi????? chelsea don lose n there is nothing you, hiddink, lampard, anieka, wellsbaba or toks can do to change it' Kapishh!?!? :-)

PS: make sure say u see me dis evening...........a word is enuf

Eyin temi atata, how una dey? my blog-leave ends (whenever i decide)

i will be back to regular blogging soonest' :-)

PSS: I' ll try to upload bayo's pix later, pls suggest the kind of punishment dat befits him for..........oooooh his mum is calling me again, Kia!! 2day na 2day *sigh*

HURRAYYY 'LADYGUIDE' IS 70

oops!!! i meantttt 1 'tho it feels like 70 sumtimes :-)

Yessoooooo 2day is my blog-anniversary. Three hundred n sixty five days ago i became a blogger' just for the fun of it, n wat a year of fun it has been; a year of growth, learning, self-discovery and making new friends/families and communities; becoming a 9jablogger/blog reader/blog stalker also opened my eyes to many things that were happening in the world that I wasn’t aware of; it also made it easier (almost free) for me to travel to america/asia/europe n oda countries without getting/paying for a visa and even live there (4 my mind) without fear of deportation :-) In all' it has been a year of FUN 'tho weird; at times i find ma self talking 2 ma sef, cracking ma brain for sumn to write about or laughing aloud when i recollect sumn i read on blogville, i cant count the number of times i ve dreamt of some bloggers; last wk i dreamt of seeing fba at oshodi, he was selling o'dee's chips tho' he had omoibadan's voice, xsn's shape and TE's hair' lolllll no ask me how manage o :-)

I want to thank everyone dat have commented on dis blog (even the waka pass-ers) thank you for accepting me even tho u cant see, hear or perceive me :-) I' ve met many wonderful pple thru dis medium '4get say some of dem get scoin-scoin; i raise nyansh for ALL of una (afro not dat kind yansh o; cos e no easy to maintain blog (even wen bad belle pple dey put sand for our garri wit dia yamayama comments, we still stand *Gidigba! No saking!!! :-)

I planned celebrating dis anniversary with everyone' especially after being awarded the Blogger I would most like to meet in the just concluded naija bloggers awards but sumn happened to the cake i bought for d occasion; nope it didnt get burnt' neither was it stolen, rather it was crushed by a container abi na q-cabin *sigh* eyin temi' no be small thing o' dos of u dat work in vee-eye can testify to it (wetin una tink say cause allll dat hold-up yestaday morning) so i kukuma leave am for dia; (u for pack am?? even if i pack am, u go gree chop am??:-) BUT norrrin do me, norrrin do u ' we must still celebrate!!!!, daddy-showkey if u don ready, lets go......

sumbodi call ma name...lg,

pple dem calling ma name.... lg

lg-baby u don come back again o

mama dem' dem r calling ma name

even little shildren' dem r calling ma name

lg come, lg come, lg come, lg come

lg-baby u don come back again (chorus till fade :-)

THANK YOU BLOGVILLE, LETS DO THIS AGAIN NEXT YEAR (isha allah)

PS: a special shout out to these wonderful bloggers (hope u r reading), Super girl, Ajike, Ejura, 9jalines, Thots of a naija woman, Duchess, Aba boy, Aloofaa, Rethots, 007, FFF, Chi-grace, Mz dee, Shalewa, Sabira, Nikkysab, 9jachikito, Freshnfab, The last king of scotland, Tairebabs, Onome, Minky, Sasuke, 9ja fine girl, 9ja idol, Bold faze, Kemmie, Allied, Lightly, Bunnmy, Sherri, Enigma, Ms emmotion, Dee, Woomie, Lady A, Nogo, Yar'mama, Ynot, Debbie, James tubman, Pink gloves, Pink satin, Twix, Blazingfano, Someone else's life, Copido, Anonymous gal, Geisha, Uchevelli, Stella dimoko, Ice queen, Jinta, Remi united kingdom, Gllady, Darker-berry, Sandrine-enigma, Darkelcee, For the luv of me, Omohemi-benson, L'amour, Write-uche, Akannimo, Classybabe, Tininu(guy), Tininu(babe), Kayshawn, Qmoney, Simply-Lisa, Musco, Posh-buki, Manda, Archiwiz, Ibo-dude, DB, Dbalone, Alibaba, Porter d hacourt, Red sapphire n many others' numerous to mention, WETIN do una?!?!?.

PSS: most of the bloggers i mentioned have not updated in ages, some have gone private/ missing in action while others have disappeared 4rm blogville without permission (at least' i kno i didnt permit anyone) so the shout-out is a WAKE UP CALL :-)

only in 9ja....

original mgbeks formulated it, afro merixed it, dis is my version;

Funny, weird yet amazing things dat can only be associated with 9geria/9gerians :-

* Everyone is a copy-cat e.g this post :-)

* LASTMA is more dreaded than the 9gerian police

* Our lawmakers are the 1st law breakers; need examples??? :-)

* Man-no-die' man-no-rotten mentality (go look for interpreter :-)

* Politics is a do or die affair (ts self xplanatory)

* Every flying cockroach /wall gecko is a monitoring spirit

* 5 out of every 15 civillian have been harrased by a conductor/police

* If u are xceptionally beautiful, u are a mammywater or ogbanje

* 9gerians no dey fear face; last wk president yardy's convoy was attacked in jos (a whole presido)

* Everything is jazz related; (u get wrk na jazz, u marry na jazz, u get money na jazz, u no get money na ..... : -)

* There is a generator, recharge card seller, mallam on every street

* Almost everyone have climbed okada n drank pure water (i said' almost o :-)

* Single mothers r bad market; single fathers r xempted (very pathetic)

* Almost all 9ja songs has a razz word eg faayaa, koko, kentro, kolo, maga, shayo, ja'wonsi, 4kasibe (my fav)

* African-time' has gotten a new meaning; i went for a function dat was supposed to start by 9am, 6hrs later......nathing

* Some car owners want to be regarded as a bigz boy/girl; i kno a broda dat stay in a one room 'face- me- i- slap-you', shares d toilet with 15 oda tenants, queues 2 fetch water 4rm d well but maintains a tear-rubber honda baby-boy (i suspect say him own' na jazz :p

* What goes up, neva comes down; b4 b4 sweets were being sold for 1 naira (now 2 for 5naira) coke was 25naira (now 60-100naira) a gallon of kerosene was formerly 60naira (now 480/600 naira), Ajegunle to CMS formerly 30naira; now 100naira

* Flashing' is on a kentro level; somebody wld flash you' say like.....10times, only for u to cal n they ll say, 'i just say make i greet u' or a strange voice ll ask, 'ta'lon soro???? :-)

These r all i cld come up wit for now, wat r urs???????

PS: Congrats to Arsenal football club una try sha, but if una fit beat chelsea(again), i promise all of una one house each 4 lekki :-)

norrin do una!!