Wednesday, September 24, 2008

E'bami ki'gbe Ole'

One day bush meat go catch d hunter
One day bush meat go catch d hunter
Catch d hunter, catch d hunter...... sound sultan

I got a distressing phone call from a friend, Noooo!!! He didn’t lose his job, phone or his girlfriend, rather he lost his car, as in his car was STOLEN from the CHURCH where had gone to worship GOD, but that’s not the issue, the koko is that 'Emy' has decided to quit the Catholic Church, their offence: They still cant xplain how the vehicle was moved from their parking lot *sigh* Your’s truly has spent the last 1hour begging him via the net to no avail, not that i blame him tho' i remember how he scratched n saved to buy d helicopter, oops! i meant car :-)
But make una wait o!! Why we no dey fear God sef?? Imagine' going to steal from the Church (despite the fact dat we thief 4rm our parents, husband/boyfi, wife/girlfi, office, government, market, school, friends, colleagues, passengers, customers) *hiss* Haba!! or isn’t the church supposed to be a sacred place?
This seems to be the latest trend cos’ two weeks ago, my colleague also lost her bag (containing every…) in one of the pentecostal Churches where she had followed her friend to worship, according to her, she only left her seat to give offering not knowing dat her bag was being eyed, dem search for the bag soteeeey……… neways i don tell her say, The person wey borrow her bag don buy gbese (wetin i go tell 'Emy'??)

But Ndi nkem, there’s a twist to this stealing in the church gist o’ Dangote was telling me on sunday, that after mass he had seen a N1000 note on the floor close to the exit and was also sure other parishioners had seen it too but were either scared/shy to pick it, Him too jejely walked pass the money; NOW could it mean that they are no thieves in that parish, or that they didn’t attend that mass?? (i don ask una 4 questions o)

On a lighter side, dis money for ground matter just remind me of those days we used to play pranks (nowadays Shi’dren na only ps2 and shakira dem sabi) *wide grin* so on this particular day, awon boys don arrange handkerchief with paper inside (una remember how our papa/mama dey keep money inside handkerchief then tie am so e no go lost?) ehen’ na so awon boys tie the hanky then keep am for middle of road, go hide for corner to see the oju-kokoro wey go pick am thinking say na money dey inside; After some mins, one Baba appear for street, when he got to where the hanky was lying, he use his leg to kick ‘it’ forward like football, we began to giggle anticipating his next move; Baba-wise continued to kick the 'hanky' at the same time looking behind him to see if anyone was watching, when he had gotten to the end of the street, na so all of us rush out from our hideout' begin pursue am dey shout’
Ole! Ole! Baba Ole!!! Baba Ole!!! omo as soon as Baba-wise see us, na so him pick up the hanky begin tear race...... laugh nearly bend me :-)


naijalines said...


LG said...

norrin do u jare

Writefreak said...

hehehe...baba wise indeed!
Eh ya, sorry bout your friend's car o, it's terrible when your car is stolen, my husband's car was stolen a few weeks before our wedding. we don get better one sa! lol..the yeye insurance company sef no gree pay, hope your friend has insurance o! and to thieves in church, well some of them just see it as another place to perpetrate their evil deeds. Last year when N73 was reigning seriously, hubby bought me one very nice chocolate and silver and about two weeks later it was stolen in church! Church at tape stand! I still feel like cursing the thief but the love of God constrains

naijalines said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
naijalines said...

LOL. Na wa for Baba wise o.

It's sad that people do lack conscience. I don't think it makes any difference where things are stolen. It's just plain wrong.

Thieves go to places of worship cos there's more 'opportunities' there. People are not as vigilant and tend to relax thinking 'no one would dare steal here'.
This makes them prime targets for pouncing oles.

LG said...

WRITEFREAK: swerri, na so we see am o' me sef hope say him do insurance, d guy still dey provoke *sigh* e go beta jare but as 4'dos' thieves....

9JALINES: 1STTT :) u no talk lie o, pple are not very vigilant in the church afterall who xpect thief to come worship God'
lollll @ pouncing oles
dats a new one :)

Afrobabe said...

7th yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..loldoing the dance...well I am usually thrity something now...

princesa said...

Afro where you from?
Well you are 3rd technically and am 4th!

Afrobabe said...

Hahahhaha unna play that kind trick on papa..

reminds me of one episode of I think Kenny and D1..tehy did the same thing on camera, tied a bundle and then exposed mama was shouting even when shown the camera that the money was her's...lmao..she was shouting in yoruba till a crowd gathered, dont know how they sorted that one out...

Feel sorry for ur friend's car but thats no reason to stop going to church..but then who am I to say? I have stopped church cos rain beat me on the way there, as in thouroughly beat me oh...soaked to the pant...

princesa said...

This stealing cars from churches parking lots seem to be the trend for ndi Oshi now o!
They also stole my friend's car from the church and coincidentally it was a catholic church. you sure say no be the same church?

In my church they advise everyone should install security in their cars now.

How body?

Afrobabe said...

Lmao...see Princesa...When I came I saw 4 ppl online, see race...hahahahahah

Dee! said...

"Last days". How else can one describe it? How can a sane being enter the house of God Almighty to steal? I no blame them! Its because God is God! Yeah! If na sango shrine dem no go fit try am.

Whenever I go to give my offering or whenever I have to leave my seat in the Church, I ALWAYS carry my bag! lol. Yes O!

I pray these criminals change before it becomes too late. . . or else . . . na HELL straight.

LOL at Baba wise!

simeoneomobaba said...

see dis visafone people o..i was here clicking and clicking since 0 comments..they can also be called thieves..baba wise na funny man o or rather the story is very funny, he became a kid, so that he might obtain the ..empty package...

LG said...

AFRO: yesso afro's really coming come ..4rm 'kpo' to 3rd' not bad at all ;)
BTW: but o gal' how rain go make to stop church??? u nor get rain-coat????? :)

PRISCO: ehen' i don dey suspect ya parish as soon as 'emy' tel me, :)
so afta pessin buy car, pesin go come instal security bcos of 'ndi oshi' 4 church?? as 4 me wen i buy my own, na red rope i go tie put :)
*Nwanem nwanyi, i dey o

DEE: yesso my sistah, God is merciful' n i think we take advantage of dat everytime *hiss*
lollll @ carrying ur bag everywhere.. ushers no dey disturb u??

SIMEON OMO BABA: buahahahahahaha @ visa4one thief, omobaba abeg o, no let 'ovia' hear u o':)
*Hope u r doing well

rayo said...

arrrrgggggghhhhh. lg we are going to fyt as in tear cloth enta market, pick oh, balogun or yaba? if i dont c u on my blog in d next how many hours.

rayo said...

arrrrgggggghhhhh. lg we are going to fyt as in tear cloth enta market, pick oh, balogun or yaba? if i dont c u on my blog in d next how many hours.

LG said...

i blogville'

Omotee! said...

i am 1000th!whatever, i no go fight for position again jo.

my fone was stolen in church at some wedding last month, new fone fa! anyway, dat one i blame myself as na "mo gbo mo ya" i do (na u know o).

internet no dey gree work again for my office, hence the silence, going back to read, i see say i don miss!

rayo said...

omo no be today oh, e don tey. thieves dont even think its church, if pastor drop im fone dem go take am. that stealing durin offerin, a friend lost her bag wit 2 phones to it, omo even when i stand to pray, oya caryy ya bag 4 front or side oh

rayo said...

lg, i'm stil vexing *touching one shoulder to my chin repeatedly and boning at u.

LG said...

OMOTEE: @ 1000th babes e neva reach like dat o :)
sowwy abt ya 4one, no mind dos Oles
*Hope u r doing well

RAYO: lolllllllll@...if pastor drop im fone dem go take am.
Babes if dat one happen, na heavy gbege for d thief o' :):)
BTW: haba!!!! i tink say we don settle, 'fine boi agbero' come heleppp me beg 'rayo' o :)

Afrobabe said...

Rain coat was bright and sunny when I left my house with my nice chifon dress!!!

Plus I last loved rain coats during primary school...

mizchif said...

Na wa, only 2 hrs, 22 comments already, hillllzzzzzz!

As for church stealing, e don do me 2ce, 1st was @ my church harvest bazzar in lagos. Dem tif my fone korokoro, from bag wey i carry o.

2nd one was @ a church programme in uni, i went for alter call o, believeing evrybody was in d spirit, na so i reach back to my seat, pesin don move my fone.
Of course i reported to d organizers, dem announce taya, tell me say come back d next morning.
On my own i called d fone, d tiff ansa o, i beg dis tiff taya, d guy dey take me catch trips.
Needless 2 say i didnt get d fone back, but i dodnt think i ever went for any of those programmes after sha o.

doll said...

heya. sorry bout ur friends car, am in the process of changing cars and d whole logistics plus financial drain is exhausting I can imagine wat he is goin thru

Mz. Dee said...

Lmao!! LG u wre a wicked SHILD!!

but mehn.. dat wuda been hilarious to see!! Omo Grey Hair dey tiff hankerchief!!

This church thing no be small.... well sha. Both demon and angel dey attend church after all

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

the devils own have no shame
how can one steal from a church?
having said that for you to be a thief you probably dont have a conscience in the first instance.

LG said...

AFRO: lollllll mind u 'if rain beat u wen u dey go church, na double blessing o' :)

MIZCHIF: chei!!! how dem go steal pesin 4one wey go alter call?? all des thiefs sef *hiss* i hope say na nokia 3310
*how ur side

DOLL: thanx hon, take it eazy but remember to get a car tracker, u just neva kno....

MZ.DEE: lolllllllllll wicked shild indeed, U nko??? :)
yessso...Both demon and angel dey attend church after all..
Na only God go save us
*better now?*

MISS DEFINITELY MAYBE: Conscience ke?? dem don sell am to satan tey tey *hiss*

FineBoy Agbero said...

LOL @ Baba-wise!!! Dat man na real thief!! Una suppose stone am!!!

So dem don dey thief car 4 church now? Kai! Anoda reason why agbero no dey go church... If i dey there now, dem go talk say na me steal am!!!

fantasy queen said...

lol' what a prank.

the stealing from churches is almost hilarious. people are begining to feel they've above God, a certain church in lekki was robbed sometime last year during service, ThankGod i skipped church that day.
now they announce when you're going for offering to carry your bag along...what a shame.

Jarrai said...

Thieves are opportunists...but in the house of God!!! Chai. That one is too where is too holy anymore

Mehn i am 30 sumthing today...that blogroll is just nonsense today!!!!!!!!!11

Femi B said...

Even the thief go dey kigbe go dey shout OLE...who be the meat and who be the hunter..Love that song

As for day one day and as for those church thieves....dem no dey fear God oh....and as for Baba Wise...LMAO..h
How u dey na?

isha said...

Na wa o, even the church isn't sacred n e more.
O ga fun Baba-wise o.


ol' girl, swing by and join the discussion oh. Abeg, see me see wahala...

bumight said...

i can understand the stealing from the parking lot a bit (maybe they think God is busy inside the church and can't see them), but stealing bag inside the church? serious Liver!

LG said...

FINEBOYAGBERO: bros abeg talk true jor' u sure say no be guilty conscience dey worry u
*points shakabulla*:):)

FANTASY QUEEN: Wat a shame indeeeeed *sigh* i m hearing dis 4 d ist time o' does it mean 'thieves' now reside permanently in the church????

JARRAI: My sistah, d mata tire me o'only God kno sha'

FEMI B: yessooo one day bush meat MUST catch d hunter :):)
* dearie, i m gud o na only hunger , how ur side?

ISHA: lolllll no mind am jare' old pa'le like dat... but him sabi run o :):)

SOLOMOMSYDELLE: No wahala' i dey come' i hope say beta dey o
BTW how r my cuties

BUMIGHT: lollll babes their liver done over-ripe o, if u gab dem now, dem go begin yarn say NA DEVIL *hiss*

ababoypart2 said...

Ist time here, but loving, loved the post

aloted said...

nawa o..serious matter
i think in church, people's guard are down cuz we all believe we are in God's presence..but forget o..thieves no dey fear..

meanwhile been meaning to ask u..are u ibo or yoruba or what tribe r u from? just curious :)

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLLLLLL @ the baba ole tori...KAIIIII!!! Old man!!!

As for stealing in church...people are not afraid so we see am! It will be so weird if priests and preachers on Naija start annoucing "ahem, pls take ur handbags to the altar...and hope you have security in ur cars." Sad, innit? In da house of God...

Aphrodite said...

Which place wey armu robbers no go carry their bad luck go? church again?
Tell ur friend to take heart, sey na church im go? Im reward dey for heaven.

Nne, I don miss u die.

LG said...

ABABOY: Nna da'lu :)
thanx for stopping by, i expect more visits tho'

ALOTED: My sistah' hmmmm nawawa o' d funny thing be say na small small bois dey do dis things ie apart 4rm d likes of BABA WISE:)
BTW i am 4rm 9geria, hope dat answers ur question *bats lashes*

JAYCEE: @..."ahem, pls take ur handbags to the altar...and hope you have security in ur cars." Dearie i hope it doesnt degenerate to dat o
*how u?

ARPHRODITE: Asa'nwa da'lu :):)
i ll deliver ur message, i hope it puts a smile on his face tho'

Buttercup said...

LMAO @ baba-wise! The name sef dey crack me up hahahahaha!

Eeya, ur friend shud pele o...maybe God wants to bless him with a better car..

LG baybay werin dey??

Vera Ezimora said...



Nne, do you know I always leave my purse on the chair and go for offering. I even leave it open sef...with my bright yellow wallet showing & everything. Y? I'm in church.

But kita, you have brought this issue up, it will never repeat itself. QED!!!

I've also been to someone's church and @ the end of service, someone's car was stolen. LOL. I no come understand oh.

30+ said...

Oleee, no respect again even for inside church.

Bunmmy said...

lol....i can imagine him searching between the pews for his car...thief for 9ja no de get respect o

NikkiSab said...

I understand his anger. Just last week we parked outside St. Agnes n went for 6.30am by d time we came out we noticed d drivers side was open but nothing gone so we figured we forgot to lock dat side which is real real stange. At d end of d day my hubby opened d boot to get his dirty laundry n noticed d bag was gone. So d only reason we came to find d car was cos steering was locked. Dis audacity of theives is unbelievable. E b like na xmas season started early. hmm..I pray 4 dem.

LG said...

BUTTERCUP: yeeeeessssso i claim it on his behalf :):)
*babes mo'wapa' thankii uuuuu

VERA: Asan'wa u beta shine ur eyes o' cos 4 church 4 church anything can HAPPEN :):)

30+ : Dearie no mind jare, one day bush meat go catch d hunter :)
*hope u r doing well

BUNNMMMY: lollllllll but babes no be laffing mattta o' if no be say i beg am, him be won sue dem o
*howz our 'baffday gal' doing?

MRS IBODUDE: Dearie, d st'agnes matta don tire me o' cos e don tey wey 'dem' dey do am *sigh*
BTW: hope u n oga are doing well

Doja said...

I know what happened to his car...the father stole it!

ibiluv said...

next tyme tell him to put skeleton on his windscreen so no one go touch hin car..........

i know somone who got a new car after the old one got is good ooooo u just need to use the correct people...and hopefully u *know* someone in the firm........

i no know number i sha reach here..........

poeticallytinted said...

The first time i read this I was 4th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But my yeye internet refused to post my comment. D tin just hang dere dey look me!!!!!! Newayz, I said my boss was watching me laughing out loud. I am sure he's reviewing my employment status this very minute.

Please visit my blog to pick up your Certified Honest Blogger Award. I am not sure if you've recieved it before now. You know say you be hot cake na!

aloted said...

DUH! of cuz i know u r from nigeria..which tribe r u from? na people like u dey fail waec! lol

u can send me email if u no wan efri one to know ;-)

LG said...

DOJA: lolllllllllllllllllllllll
Dearie stop am o, see as u make me dey laff :)
*welcome back, howz d fam???

IBILUV: @skeleton,
shebi u get mouth? oya come tell am by yasef , yeye gal u wan make i chop konk-slap abi? :):)
*how ya side

POETICALLY-TINTED: aww sowwy hon' i bet 'blogger' ate ur comment :)
as per ur boss; Norrin do u jor'
BTW thanx for d award, i rily appreciate it'

ALOTED: seeeeeeeee mii seeeeeeee wahala o, i said i m 4rm 9geria,
e neva do?????? *wide grin*

Rita said...

Gone are the days when Church was regarded as a sacred place...

The truth is, it is human beings that come to church. What they can do elsewhere they can still do in church...I'm not surprised.

Thanks so much for checking up on me. It's been very hectic time the last few weeks. Thank God for the public holiday...

ejura said...

Kai,lg,una no try!Sake of say moni no dei hanky,una make baba run like dat!Kai

shalewa said...

hmmmh.LG.long time no saw.thanx 4 stopping by my doing fine,just had stuff to deal with.
thiefing in the church?car for that matter?tell ur friend sorry o.he shud just pray 4 the thieves.they say everyday 4 d thief n 1 day 4 d owner.
hope u good.

(¯`·._.·[***Fresh&Fab***]·._.·´¯) said...

LMAO AT SHI'DREN FIRST OF ALL, girl u crack me up

i no kno as people get heart to thief from church, habba...wetin be the whole point of going to worship...anyway, babes, hw u dey, i ain't seen u round my bit in a while

wellsbaba said... rather tan PS2 than engage in those mischievious acts of u imagin tryin to catch old man if hin go no get papa forhouse ni?,tell ur friend wey dem still his car sey dem just buy death from am ubt seriously I think its gonna b returned,they hardly steal cars these days to sell they just use it for operations n drop it somwhere...I think!.....

LG said...

RITA: true talk, pple hardly go to the churches des days to worship God, e go beta sha
BTW the hols is God sent, i rillllly needed it ^winks^ take kia now

EJURA: lollllllllllllllllllllll yeye gal, so u dey support BABAWISE ehn'
BTW how ya side

SHALLY: Haba dearie, dis one don pass long time o, i sure say na last millenium we see last (grins)
Howz mama, husby, wifey n baby? hope they r doing well

FRESH N FAB:lol b4 nko, na shidren dem be na, norrin do dem sha,
> i dey jare, thanx'
make i go seee werin u get 4 me today

WELLSBABA: *grins* so u sef dey support am, i dey suspect u o' :p
*as per the car, we are still waiting 4 d police, cos they promised recovering it isha allah
*hope u r doing well, howz mumsy?

Kafo said...

na wa oooooooo
this is hard to swallow
i can't even making stealing at church, i would be too scared of the thunder

Remi, United Kingdom said...

nah wah oh.. dem nor fear, dem no shake.. in front of papa's house?!?! dem get plenty of liver. I want to see how they will explain themselves when they get to the pearly gates.. eeerm.. we thought u weren't watching! God help us.. kai..


LG said...

KAFO: bros na ur own u talk o'
Ole no dey look face at all :)
*its been a while.... how ur side

REMI UNITED: lollllllllllll@...we thought u weren't watching!!
dearie, i trus 'baba loke' Him go faya dem :):)
*hope u r doing well

Mz. Dee said...

auntie mi hw far na??

Long time no post!

Hope ure ok

simplegal said...

Nwanne kekwanu? lol @ baba-wise! Age does not hamper criminal tendencies oh!

Thieves have no repect for anything; after all, some theives pray before they go on their 'missions'. I remember one of our neighbours back home said when she was being robbed, she screamed Jesus, and the one of the theives replied, "Shut up! Did we say we don't know him too?" *Shakes head* Sad state of affairs...

Black Berry said...

lol! mehn allow it..if u can steal in church..u can steal anywhere!!

Tairebabs said...

Kia LG I have missed ur blog o. see me laughing my head off. But na wa o. Stealing in church is too bad o. Stealing self is bad on its own but church again. My dad has lost two mobil phones in the church in my village. That was how I called him one sunday when he was in the village and he picked up and I was like are you not going to church and he goes that church that all they do is steal, even me I had to laugh.

But this helicopter (kidding as well) they stole is not funny o.

NikkiSab said...

I don won complain say u no answer me before i see Mrs!!! We de kampe!!! how was d weekend? Oya update o.

Uzezi said...

in those days, if u see money on the floor, u dont pick it else u turn into a tuber of yam or something. so Baba knew what he was doing.

very sad about ur friend's car. some people go to churches to steal cos they know that is the place where people wont be on the watch.

no conscience at all, and there i was being very guilty for a full week because i wrote a test in church and cheated to get 6 over ten.

me had to return to do a makeup test to erase my guilt and got nine.

Ur friend should leave Caholic church cos of that. it could happen anywhere, especially when the car park doesnt have security men, and securities measures.

long time chick, how u dey?

Afronuts said...

I guess thieves find churches a good place to 'make money' so when all attention is on God, their attention are on ur valuables.

Maan...they'll be cursed by doing such things oh...

And talking about the prank on the baba...u kids were evil lol

Olamild said...

Ole ajiboleeeeeeeeeee
na wa o

Na prayer u go take fight the thief o

Sherri said...

ajibole!barawo banza!

how u dey lady?

Naija Idol said...

CHAI. Babes. i dunno where to start from. havent been to anyones blog lately. Hope u r okay tho.

(¯`·._.·[***Fresh&Fab***]·._.·´¯) said...

baby, hw far nah..u no go update

Femi B said...

madam how far..haven't they caught the ole yet???

aloted said... now??
i thot u had closed the issue on Femi B's blog...some people are still harassing her o...and me i dont like it o...i just say make i come tell u

InCogNaija said...

mschew! una never see audacity!
my uncle dey church dey do night vigil when robbers carry gun enter church open fire on top ceiling. you for see as people wey no fit dobale to worship GOD just dive straight, under chair dey shake like vibrator.
Dem theif pple ask wey pastor dey, pastor just no even talk. The pple say na pastor be that...pastor say "lai lai! na who be your pastor? pastor don ex comot since! me i just be member like all of una"
That is some serious liver. the liver get im own digestive system sef!

Nogo said...

Lol bet that Niara note was a test! Lol How are you?!!? :D xoxo