For the Children

Funny Children Prayers
1. Dear God, if the people of israel are Israelites, and the people of Canann are Canannites, are the people of paris called Parasites?

2. Dear God, i read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.

3. Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?

4. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too

5. Dear God, my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?

6. Dear God, Bless mommy, bless daddy and me and poppy, good nite!!

7. Dear God, Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?

8. Dear God, how come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?

9. Dear God, Please send Peter Clark to a different summer camp this year.

10. Dear God, my brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?

11. Dear God, Is Reverend Mike a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?

12. Dear God, mom says i can ask you for anything, "plz make me fall sick, i don't want to go to school tomorrow

13. Dear God, Please Help mommy to find her patience because she lost it today.

14. Dear God, You don’t have to worry about me. I always look both ways before I cross the street

15. Dear God, With so many different religions, i bet you get them mixed up sometimes.

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!!

and chelsea lost......

YAY!!!! UP ARSENAL!!! UP ARSENAL!!! UP ARSE.....*Lg dodges slaps from drogba and rooney' lol,

The Game
The Reward
The Winners(by mistake)
C werin Drogba cause
Drogba again, lol!!
oh no, john terry

EYAaaaaa a poor chelsea!! *sigh*maybe next time, just maybe.....(But una shakara too much sef. I wonder wat 'll happen to all the blue cows chelsea's fans bought in ojota (who go chop dem???) hmm nawawa!! newayz congrats to alex fergusson; *grins* u never know, i just might decamp........WHOSAI!! i'm a GUNNER 4 LIFE' united berra watch outfor us next season, i don warn una o :-)
xoxo

IF i were to be an animal.....

Eyin bloggers mi, eku ojo o, yes the rain has started, naija style (it only rains when pple are on their way to/back from work, lol!!!), as for me i have armed myself with umbrella, rain-coat, shower cap + rain-boots :)

Newayz for the day's gist, i was on my way home yesterday evening from Ogudu, as we were waiting for the bus to fill up, na so discussion start, the usual stale talk of the Nigerian fallen economy, many of the passengers blamed the govt (as usual), and listed stuffs they weren't addressing, while the topic was on, a young man guy suddenly exclaimed, 'Ohhh i wish i be dog o' as soon as he said that, our lecturers* stopped talking, as they too strained their necks to take a closer look at the dog/man, for my mind (this guy don shayo o), yet the guy went on undeterred, 'yes na, if i be dog , i nor go dey worry about food o, bcos i must chop, 9ja economy no go affect me at all, sum passengers dtsted laffing but to me, the guy has has definitely lost it, a dog ke???? n all bcos of the economy, the noise stopped, but not for me o, i continued to ponder abt it till i got home (asking myself) IF i were to choose, wat animal wld i like to be? tho not bcos of the economy :-))

Taking into account that i'm scared of animals, i wldnt want to be an animal that others don't hunt down to eat, probably a lion or isnt it possible to be an animal that no one eats, lol!!! i'm still thinking abt it even as i type this post, Wat animal would i want to be? an elephant... or do pple eat elephants? wat abt a buffalo?, i neva kolo o, i'm only fantasizing before una change my name, lol!!. Ok bloggers its your turn now, IF you were to be an animal, (dats asides being human) which one wld it be???? and why?????, Thank God, there are lots to pick from, so no excuses, oya where are all the animal lovers???

Things that piss me off

1. When i go to the bank, and the teller is sooo slow
2. When i see scantily dressed ladies esp in music videos
3. When i see ladies chewing gum with their mouth open
4. When people talk loud on their cell phones esp in buses
5. When ladies lie about trivial things, like where they made their hair, nails etc
6. When fat people dress in short tight clothes, with their cellulites saying hellooo.
7. When a man keeps adjusting his "kini" in public, i still dont understand the need
8. When someone is playing drums on every available surface with their pencil/pen.
9. When someone in front of me walks slowly and meander from side to side making it difficult for me to walk pass them
10. When people expect sooooooo much from u and give so little
11. When i see Naija actors/actresses/artistes forming yankee e.g
12. When someone calls my phone and says, "who's this?", so annoying!!
13. When i see ladies act stupid just to get men to notice them
14. When i hear loud/uncanny ringtones
15. When people Cough and hack and chew it, yuuuck!!

OK, thats it for now lol!!!! lets hear some of urs

TGIF: mommy' mommy jokes

Yessoo, norrin dey happen? all my african queens, how una dey??? see wetin Tuface dey cause :-) I got this among my mails, it's meant to be a joke, some of dem are hilarious but others too deep, wat do you think...

* Mommy, Mommy!Why is everybody running? Shut up and reload.
*Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to be a daddy, Shut up and get in bed.
*Mommy, Mommy! I don't like your milk! Shut up and keep on sucking.
*Mommy, Mommy! wat's for dinner? Shut up and get back in the oven!
*Mommy, Mommy! I don't want 2 visit grandma! Shut up n keep digging.
* Mommy, Mommy! daddy fell in the campfire! Shut up and get d barbecue sauce! *Mommy, Mommy! wat's a transvestite? Shut up and unhook Daddy's bra.
*Mommy, Mommy! my head hurts! Shut up and get away 4rm d dart board!
*Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim! Shut up or I'll flush it again!
*Mommy, Mommy! daddy's running down the street! Shut up n step on d gas!
*Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts. Well, just leave them on the side of the plate.
*Come upstairs, son, like a good boy." "No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again."
* Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara Falls! Shut up n get back in the barrel!
* Mommy, Mommy! why do I have to hop everywhere? Shut up or I'll chop off the oda leg!
* Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers 4 supper! Shut up or I'll grind ur oda hand. *Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles. Shut up or I'll nail ur other foot to the floor
* Mommy, Mommy! why are we pushing the car off the cliff? Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
*Mommy, Mommy! can I play with grandma? Not today, we already dug her three times this week.
* Mommy, Mommy! my teacher says my head is too big. Shut up n get ur hat from d garage, so your father can bring the car in.
* Mommy, Mommy! the milk man is here; have you got the money or should I go out and play again for an hour?
* Mommy, Mommy! what happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
* Mommy, Mommy! when are we going to have Aunt edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished ur granmother yet.
* Mommy, Mommy! R you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men? Shut up and get back in d oven.

weird aint they???? *shakes head* but these oyibo peeps sef :-)

Happy weekend
xoxo

Life has taught me...............

When i was still a veryyyy small girl (cant remember how old i was then sha), i use to browse thru different copies of Vanguard newspaper to get to my favourite section, which was "what life has taught me", and in my head, thinking that when i grow up i would send my own contributions, Ndi nkem na so i begin ask any big person wey i know say 'what has life tot u??? some of dem go just look me laff waka go but some go answer me, and i go write am down, if d one wey i nor fit spell' i go tell them to write am by dem self :-)

omo u need to see my jotter, It was my special scrap book.

newayz i dont think that section still exists (abi?) but over the years, life has taught me so much.... from my home, neighbours, school, friends, novels, work, nollywood even from blogger, Here are some of them :

# Life has taught me not to rely on anyone except God
# Life has taught me that everything happens 4 a reason
# Life has taught me that prisoners sometimes become kings eg Obj
# Life has tot me that some people will walk over the top of you to get ahead
# Life has taught me never to do anything that can warrant a mother's curse
# Life have taught me that I have not failed, I've just found another way that won't work
# Life has tot me that your mindset influence your action and your action determines your life.

What about you???????

PS: I just saw dis' Nigerian priest jailed for having sex with prison inmates kilonshele??????

MY 1ST TAG

The rules:
1. Link the person(S) who tagged you to this post: ejura and standtall 2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

Here goes:
1. I 'm scared of dogs, cats, chickens in short gbogbo' e, you wont understand my kind of fear until you see the CD, i dont think i ll allow dem to pass through the gate of Heaven o (lai lai) , so all animal lovers BEWARE!!!!

2. I keep *Agberos* as friends, i have like 2 each at my routes (house, work, church, market), you never know when they ll come in handy, lol (funny enough , i hardly settle dem, na dem dey *settle me sef)

3. I also sleep in the buff tho' i always make sure the windows aint open and the door is firmly latched, you never know with THOSE insects.

4. I never bathe with cold water, at times i would wait till noon before i taking my bath, at the school hostel i still remember placing my bucket of water at strategic places where the sun can heat it before bathing i.e if there's no hot water.

5. I dont fart (more like;i cant remember the last time i farted, even dangote have been praying to be there to witness the kodak moment when i go........poooooooom!!!!* loll

6. My "kini" contracts when i'm ......... go figure :-)

I hereby tag; mamabomboy,jarrai,shally,oluwadee,doja and kemmie

PS: egbami o, i jst saw Jayz' s new video (rock a fella) abeg na who give am fela's water no get enemy instrumental??

TGIF: PAKO vs BUTTER

Back in the dayz.......which group did you belong to????
Group A
1,Watch tales by moonlight, Aluwe, Jaguar
2, Play soccer naked in the rain
3, Play mama, papa and pikin
4, Collecting crown corks
5, Play Table soccer with crown corks
6, Play Okoso using pen(biro) corks
7, Play Station with brooms
8, Play Ten-ten, Boju-boju
9, Keep canary, pigeon as pet
10, Police and thief
11, Making kites from nylon
12, Mo’ bu iyo
13, Left /right game
14, Carry gorimapa to school
15, Wear rubber slippers to school

Group B
1, Watch Sesame streets, Muppet babies, Robin hood, fragile rock
2, Indoors when it’s raining
3, Afternoon siesta is a MUST
4, Collect Buttons, Marbles, Sea shells
5, Monopoly, ludo 6, Wear leather sandals(BATA) to school
7, Have Barbie dolls, teddy bears, puppies as pets
8, Go to the beaches, parks/ clubs on weekends
9, Read Ladybird story books/ Comic books
10, Action figures, Lego11, Snake and ladder,Ludo
12, Ride bicycles, go skating
13, Go for swimming lessons
14, Game boy/Atari
15, Trim/Change your hairstyle every week

**For ALL the pakos in the house (lol), can u still remember the lyrics to these games:
.My mother told me (clap clap) ......
.Who stole the meat from the cooking pot ......
.New money, e don come ......

ABEG NO FORMING O :-)