Monday, June 8, 2009

Lets talk about sex

i.e about our kids having sex, (sigh) my people, it is wit a heavy heart i type this post; My friends ll tell u i'm crazy abt children n its d truth' tho i dont have any (yet), i love cute, intelligent, smart, stubborn, infact all kids (including d 'mommy i want aunt Lg's face ones :-) but i m no longer sure who is a child n who isnt; yesterday i went to visit a sick colleague n bumped into her neighbour's 4yr old kids doing it; as if dat wasnt bad enuf, there are brothers infact twins; how manage?? who tot dem?? moreover these were children 4rm a good moslem home, so how come they knew abt it?....cartoons? music? neways i left their mom weeping and thinking of how to tell her husband.

Last term, my ikotun friend (i talked abt her here) almost went mad, d reason....alan got back 4rm school n asked her if her kini was red? dat a boy in his class claims his mum's own was very red; Oginni?!? raked my friend, 'Where d teacher dey wen dem dey discuss dat kind thing 4 class??? wasnt She supposed to be their guardian/shielder??. After confronting the teacher (n d proprietress) she withdrew her kids 4rm d school. wen she narated d incident to me, i asked her wat was her reply to alan :-) But seriously, wat is happening to our children? scratch dat, What are we doing to Our children???

I still recollect my elder broda chasing me n my sister out of room weneva we r watching tv and a man is kissing a woman (infact as soon as d man n woman begin look each oda one kind, my broda go Order us outside, sometimes i run to my neighbour's room to watch it, or i 4get about the film n start to play with my lil' sis; i cant remember how old i was then, but i knew i resented him for it (b4 nko? :-) till date, my dad's favourite programmes on tv are NTA network news and Tales by moonlight n we dare laff even wen they went on commercial (i still miss dat presenter) But today nko, which pikin get News time?? they prefer yori-yori:-)

Babijide salu, Mrs Salu, Mummy TK, Naijalines, Doja, Simispeak, Black james bond, Bimbylads, Lolu-Kush, Fluffycutething, Mojisola, Standtall, Mommy, Dee, Chioma-mom, Oyin, Isi, GOODnaijagirl, Kemmie, For the love of me, Yarmama, 30+, Lady A, Teachers, Parents, Pastors/Imam, FBA, NBC, BON, DBANJ (they adore u) Is there hope for Our Children??? How? Where? When?

ps: (for tots) How wld a 7/8/9/10yr old rate my blog? (ie apart 4rm gushing over my profile pix and my grammar :-) What about yours? How would a child Rate your blog?????

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Are you kidding? Four year olds doing it? doingg what? I don't get it really. I hate to sound vulgar but I would like to understand it, his stuff was in her kini or he was just on top of her? You saw them? This is unbelievable. Where on earth would they have seen that. I would have said blame Nollywood cos parents are so careless when they are watching Nigerian films, the entire family is usuallythere, but there hasnt been any sex ones or have they? Whaaaaaaaaaat, four year olds doing it? I am panicking,could it be nannies or is it us parents? I have a one year old, am I doin my best, is there more that I can do? Oh help us O Lord!

For the love of me

Ms.O said...

Sister LG. which kain lie is this!!! 4yr olds?!?!? you gotta be kidding me!!!! OMG! wow.. I dont know were these kids are elarning this ish from but dang! I am a lil speechless!!!!

akaBagucci said...

LOL.... Guess the young are growing.. and growing really fast!!!!

pink-satin said...

wow...this is a shock!
4 year old brothers doing it?
where was the mother?
how did they know where to put what!
We need prayers for our kids

FFF said...

4 years old doing what pls? as in having sex!!!!! goodness me! since wen? mba mab oh, dis one don pass joke. when did things get this bad 4 naija? at 4, kids r still innocently running around naked. na who teach dem dis kain nonsense. abeg, dis ur friend should check her enviroment well. maybe one bachelor dey one place wey dey bring one of those kids inside him room, come dey teach dem dis kain horrible thing. or maybe even househelps. inukwa nsugbo.

Kémi Penélopê said...

E don tey wey dis don dey happun...it is just that we just started stumbling into it in broad daylight.
But bifor I begin to answa ur GMAT question, I have one for you.
Did you confront d pikin wey 'dey don am'...you know, like sit him down and let him know the implications of what he has just done.
Then gradually break the news to the parent wey u sabi say dem no go beat the pikin finish but talk correct sense into him head then officially tell am the reason wey dem dey beat am so next time wey dem say, "let us do it"...him go pick race go Sokoto.

Anyways, if I can read the mind of a 7/8/9/10 years...I would rate your blog "PG"...dem go niid "Parental Guide" to read am...abeg no shot me...just my take.

simeone said...

serious marra..i can barely find the words o..
you said 4 year old boys...so what exactly were they doing..?
this is disturbing ...and to think these are just 2 cases that you know..

babajidesalu said...

LG....I don't know what happened there but my comments got muddled up....

babajidesalu said...

LG, I beg, biko, delete my earlier comment...this is more coherent...I beg you o

I was just leaving a comment for Kémi Penélopê over at my end that you are on a roll.

Seriously, this post discusses a very important topic. Now LG, I am going to pretend that I do not completely understand the meaning of "4yr old kids doing it". Doing what exactly?

Pretending to have sex?
Having sex?
Kissing?
Watching an adult having sex?

Sorry LG, I am struggling to believe that a 4 year old will actually be having sex with who? and where?

It's just absurd and difficult to visualise either of my sons, Prof (10 years) and Gov (5 years) and then not to talk of my my 14 year old daughter HAVING SEX!!

Let me make a bold statement here, parents are to blame for much of this mess. I always say that it is very easy to be a DADDY but a herculean task to be a FATHER.

Wifey and I seat down with our children and we talk about everything under the moon with everyone having the opportunity to express their opinions hence the freedom to say it all. It has always been our dream with our children and we are slowly realising this dream. Amen. We are not there yet and it is a life long exercise.

LG,we can no longer blame the world for the mishaps in our living rooms. We must take responsibility for our actions.

So I rest my case o....what a fabulous topic. Well done and dash over to my end for my reply on why you should not fall in love....lolllll

On your blog rating, definitely a PG+ ( sometimes, it takes me a week to read and comprehend a post of yours)

chayoma said...

WETIN??
haa. i will confess, when i was six-ish, gurls for my primary school go drag boys to the toilet go show off their dangle-dangles and v-jay jays. one occasion, they caught my cousin( more like family friend, but we related somehow) kissing a boy. that was it oh!
But at 4, doing the do! this world don spoil. where did they learn that boys can get it on, with each other for that matter?
Nawwaaa....

downtheaisle said...

wat were they doing??? I no understand oo!
On a serious note, just like babajidesalu said, its hi-time we started taking responsibility for our actions.
The question is "what actions are we taking in the lives of these young ones?"

Are we giving the kids the right answers to their questions or just allowing them figure out what the answers are? ***selah***

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Shebi dem talk say de young shall grow? But they should have amended it to not so quickly.

As per 4 year olds having sex, while I find it hard to believe, I also understand that society is oversexed and ignores the fact that we don't always have to have everything - nobody ever tells themselves or others 'No.'

What would kids think about my blog? Well, it depends, shebi? They would probably find the talk of pee, poop and shenanigans boring, but if they tuned in on Fridays for TTTEC, they just might find it explosive. However, if they read the comments, they would learn a lot from the very candid discussion.

Well, LG, I happy say you don update oh!

Omotee! said...

LG, i go rate ur blog PG, na u know,shoot me!

on a more serious note, this is some serious ish o. i do not want to believe by "it" u meant sex?!?! what? how?
i think lots of parents are to blame, but then, sincerely, no parent can be with their kids 24/7 to monitor what they see, hear and do, u do ur best and pray about the rest.
but as parents (am not yet one tho), i think we can start with the TV. no musical video these days can make it if the wordings aint vulgar and have semi-nude girls dancin sexy dances with some men who look at them with droopy eyes, all doped up, am i right?

have u seen the latest birthday gig for kids? they play all these songs and these kids dance exactly the way they see them dance on TV! do we blame them? they think its just normal. like why on earth would any parent allow their kid to feature in Kolomental video?!?! so its not sex related but its madness related!

am sorry about my comment/post, i know its long, am just concerned.

Fluffycutething said...

I'm just in shock here oh!!!

Funny enough they just may have stumbled onto their parents doing it and decided to experiment...

God help us with these children biko!!

Woomie O! said...

Chei! I thank Chineke God of heaven above that I updated before you!
copy copy friend.

Funms-the rebirth said...

what?????? 4yr olds? pls come back to fully explain..... i hope u talked to them.... even tho the media and society have a part to play, the parents have a greater part..... it depends on what we expose our kids too and what we talk to them about.... kids are not too young nowadays so parents need to be at alert.....

Debbie said...

It is a sad day for the worl when kids as young as 4 are doing it. What is responsible, everything, parents first and foremost, we seem to be too weak or powerless before our kids, for fear of reprisal from the authorities.
Parents, teachers, government and the media all have a collective responsibility for the young and we've let them down, I fear for the furture of this generation.
Kids movies have intimiate scenes played by cartoon charaters and they kiss as if it is a normal thing.
Bottom line, parent's need to regain control regardless of the consequenes, because at the end of the day, they will give account to God for the gift he entrusted into their care.

Lady A said...

Yes my love there is always hope!
I have 3 kids, 12, 8 & 7 and they are already talking about sex. Not from mom n dad, but from friends, commericals, internet and other tv programs that appear innocent, but just to find out it needs to be rated R!
Prayer!!! Also teaching our children the truth. No matter how old they are, if they are asking or behaving in a sexually manner, then it's time to correct and talk. We must reach them first b4 the media, friends, etc..does. It's rough, but with God's grace and our faith in Him, all will be well.

Kafo said...

@ age 4 na wa ooo
that's scary

really scary

Lolia said...

LOL I was just about to say nawa for this your leave oh...

But that's really sad though, the other day I was telling my friend that my children won't know about sex until they're like ten and going to boarding school and I HAVE to tell them and she was like I should keep living in a fantasy land :(

I don't even know again, four??? That's just distressing now...*sigh*

As for my blog, I think my blog is PG13-ish lol

Omo Oba said...

i agree. this is a real problem that we need to tackle head on. I mean, 10 year olds is bad enuff but 4 year olds? at that age, they are wont to repeat things they have seen done so someone must have shown them how it is done. our children need protection! It is a pity not all of our children have brothers like yours.

juiceegal said...

Well as far as i'm concerned i'm gonna blame the parents for this.Times are changing,sex is everywhere,its inevitable that children wld learn about sex,heck even an advert for fish fingers was sex related,parents need to sit with their children and talk to them but no they won't........ talking about sex is like a taboo to them, what do u expect??? the kids wld find a better way of satisfying their curiosity,thats y we find 4 year olds havin sex.They are simply practicin what they see,kids copy the things they see around them,even teenagers too do the same thing, they copy what they see and teenagers are supposed to be a lil bit more sensible.
Granted its a lil too early to start tellin 4 yr olds about sex,but then i rememba wen i was little and my mum used to bathe me,weneva i said mummy look at my "bum-bum" she wld say yes thats ur bum bum,if anybody touches it come and tell me ok,i knew right from time that my private parts were just that "private".
Now,these kids have been caught having sex,i can bet my life on it that they wld get the beating of their lives,would that solve the problem??? No it wldnt.The mother needs to sit with them and tell them that what they are doing is wrong by breaking it down to the simplest language they wld undastand.Parents need to pay more attention to their children,nobody is asking them to sit with them 24/7,30 minutes of quality time is better than 24 hours of distracted surveillance.

isha said...

That's highly disturbing mehn. Just sad. One thing that bothers me though is that even though we try to protect our kids at home, how do we filter what they hear from outside sources?

Parents now have to give their kids sex education by the time they're like 8, to lay a foundation for whatever they might me corrupted with.

God help us be the best parents to our kids o. One thing that I think helped my siblings and I was that my mum didn't hide important stuff from us. Before, my sis and I would lock the door or shout at my brothers for coming into the room while we were changing. My mum then taught us that they would only keep pressing to find out what we were hiding. It worked, cos they got very embarassed. I also know that they've seen 'it all'(no they haven't) but no girl can control them. Lol.

That strategy probably doesn't work for everyone.

Oyin said...

Hey didnt know you still come to my blog. But hey give me your address and Im sending you a slice of that cake...lol. Hey my posting will be on this Freaky friday... :P

Afronuts said...

Where there's life, there's hope. This is a serious issue but for every problem there's a solution. And the best solution lies in the Bible - Prov. 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."

I as a child grew up under strict training from my parents, along the line when i even tried to rebel and got exposed to bad stuff, I just found it hard to stay there because I KNEW where I came from and who I was. It was hard to depart from my home training.

What we expose our children to and what we teach them matters. Those children behaved the way they did innocently because of what they were exposed to. So who do u blame? The parents of course. You just told ur story and thats what worked for you too.

Bringing up our children in the fear of God is the answer. Too many kids are neglected nowadays b/c of parents who are hustling to make money...

blogoratti said...

Kids learn pretty fast, that's why one has to keep an eye on what they watch, and who they hang out with..
Parents y'all need to WAKE up!!

Tairebabs said...

LG, I am glad your leave is over o! I missed your writings. But this gist you brought is one terrible one o. Those twins one pass me! I really wonder where they learnt if from. I am not convinced it is television alone. Your friend needs to find out if they are being molested. I know of some little boys who learnt how to have sex from their house girl. Kia I really feel sorry for your friend o.

I also remember being asked by my cousins to leave the room or close my eyes during kissing scenes.

Mommy said...

Hmmmmmm...as has earlier been said, we should take responsibility for our actions. And as Afronuts rightly quoted, train up a child...

ahem...The word standard of what God wants our children to grow up to be is clearly stated in the scriptures. It is our responsibility to condition our children into the way they should grow. Training includes discipline. Abeg just follow me to Proverbs 29 verse 15,17, Proverbs 19 verse 18, Proverbs 23 verse 13, Proverbs 22 verse 6. I just love Proverbs 23vs13..."Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die." So whenever my girl starts acting naughty, I put on my mommy face and beat her very well. Note that I did not say 'spank'. That one na bature style...e no carry weight like the word beat.

I would have beat those 4 year olds very well before telling their mom what I caught them doing. Nonsense! I make a conscious effort to censor what my little lady watches. And I never watch any sort of movie until I have put her in bed for the night. The girl even threatens to report any model she she's kissy kissing in a magazine to their parents and anytime we mistakenly watch an innocent film together with a a kissy scene, I notice she puts her hands over her eyes and instructs me to do the same.

All in all, I recognize I am just a caregiver here on earth; so there is no day that passes by without me lifting my eyes to heaven and praying for grace and strength and help from God to be able to train up my child in the right way. Ahhhh...I no fit give account say na me spoil pickin on the last day abeg!

darkelcee said...

Me i am scared oh. if only i can move to the equator with my kids....... Well we are responsible for their actions really so we need to train them well so that God and peeps wil not blame us.

aloted said...

men this world is getting scary o...i dont even know wat to say

Naija Idol said...

chinekeme im with u my luvy luvy. with u everything is wellu wellu ur luv dey make my heart go yori yori!!!
luv d song!!!!!!!

now back to serious business!!.. 2 brothers dey do wetin???... i have a neighbour who beats her child everyday due to d things d little girl does..she refers to her vagina as "toto" and never fails to open it for any man (yes u read right) to c. she also demonstrates d "doggy style" on any flat surface she sees. after repeated performances, i had to ask d mother if she ever "takes show" (i.e have sex) when d girl is there (they live in a one-room apartment.. nd she folows all sorts of men).. she then said dat she used to when d girl was little but not anymore (the girl is 5 now)... so i think all these things have to do with d upbringing cos some parents decide to take show in d presence of their children probably when they r asleep... all they need to do is get a room..

anyways.. i don do my small aproko when i fit.. expect me to stalk this blog until.... hmmmm. make i leave d sentence like dat..

aunty LG.. u r 2GBASKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nahjaj said...

4 yr old brothers doing it?!!!!

i didnt even know what it was til abt 13! (maybe im a little slow, but still...)

if feel for the mother. :-(

~Sirius~ said...

This is really heartbreaking.

Where does their Mother begin?

This is really really Sad.

At what age are parents then expected to educate thier kids?

~Sirius~ said...

I hope they are not abused children only repeating what has been done to them.

Tigeress said...

waow, that bothers me big time.

Obviously they learnt this from school or the maid etc. Nigerian parents really have to be careful what and who they expose their kids to.

tobenna said...

Frankly I refuse to believe this can happen.
Can 4 yr old kids get an erection?

Enkay said...

Parenting isn't easy I tell you.
Where were their parents when this was going on?

Are you sure these kids in question are 4 years old?

Hmmm....

FFF said...

@ naija idol: i am literarily having a heart attack right now 4rm ur comment. wetin!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 jehova jireh help us. gini! hey!

doll said...

na wow

Vera Ezimora said...

Girl, this is an interesting topic. Oprah talked about sex education the other day. The lady that was on her show suggested you start teaching your kids from about age 10 because whether you teach them or not, they will know. I don't know how I feel.

StandTall-The Activist said...

Sorry 4 my late comment. I believe there are hopes for our kids, we need to teach them secx education, backed up with words of God and hope they will mak informed decisions...

Buttercup said...

I'm with Tobenna..it's not possible to get an erection at the age of 4 BUT the fact remains that something was entering somewhere, right? That thought is just so disturbing. Jesus should come already!!!

Dee! said...

I no believe am!! How can a child who is just 4 years old have an erection? Simply unbelievable!

blazing said...

look, this cant be helped,the more we try to shield our kids the more kuriousity gets the best of em.me,am going to teach em all they need to know,show them all they need to see right from when they start noticing their mom is pretty or DAD is handsome.Schools arent doing it no more so why not so i think the responsibility to trained them falls to me & u as parents(or to be) or we could just settle for the alternative-believe me there are loads of bad stuff out there for them to learn from.
you gone and done it again LG,never a dull moment wt u...

THIRTY + said...

Doing it, that is so terrible.

To be blatantly honest it's just going to get worse, bible don talk am. Gross darkness.

Only thing is to remain a watcher in your own area a.k.a family, friends, colleagues and blogville.

It's important not to underestimate this children, do talk to them about sex including the good, bad and ugly of it.

babajidesalu said...

I was here....

Tee said...

kai, i am sure if it was me i would have been so angry that i would have beaten them up. Nonsense.

princesa said...

Hey girl!
You still dey do ur aproko work abi?lol!

The truth is that sex is been thrusted into the little ones faces everyday.

God help us.

temmy tayo said...

Do you blame kids, I kuku no blame them sha. You need to see the kind of lewd programmes on TV, the music videos e.t.c. Everything screams sex, sex ans more sex!

Oga ju.

miz-cynic said...

na wa o....d world is coming to an end is all i would say....gross sodomization.

Uzezi said...

wow. really sad.
while i believe 4 year olds cant have an erection, the fact that they even know the actions and move and what to do, is terrible.

the change begins with each and every one of us. the television has to go away, if the children must grow up right. unfortunately, if I decide in future my kids will only have one hour of cartoon a day, and nothing else from tv, what stops the stories from schools and the play grounds?

this is sad really. maybe we should home school them or return to the days when your go to school if ur hand can touch ur ears.

civilization has come, and the price we have to pay is very high.

LG, Im back.

Jaycee said...

All I can say is..."life is not the same as it used to be..."

justdoyin said...

hmmm...this is a very serious issue oh...I'm kinda tongue-tied so I'll just say JideSalu has said it well...we, as adults n parents really do need to be more responsible 4 our children and wards n talk to them openly about sex (from a reasonable age I guess, but 4?)...

About the blog rating, I once did this online questionaire/test thingy that rates blogs, n mine actually came out as PG, for one mention of the word "sex" and one mention of the word "knife"...n I thot, if my blog is rated PG, I don't want to imagine what some pple's blogs (that I won't mention...lol) wld be rated...maybe 04? or just XXXXXXXXXX...lol...

Parakeet said...

Truth is we become sexually conscious from age 5...we never wanna admit it but its true. The rest is down to guidance. How u dey sis?

Enkay said...

Oya come out of hiding fast! How u dey?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

time to update madam

Tairebabs said...

LG were are you o. It would soon reach one month since your last update. Come on update now....pretty please...Hope you are doing good sha?

Trésor said...

wow! am still reeling!

JideSalu's Diary said...

LG, Na wa o ....I was here

NikkiSab said...

Dats just really, really sad. Wen i was younger too de didnt let me watch movies dat say 'Not suitable for kids under 16'. Till dis day I have not watched the 1st wild orchid, Basic instinct part 1 and a couple other movies.Wat can we really do to stop dis nonsense from going on? How u doing dear?

Buttercup said...

Aunty LG..how far na?

Tisha said...

too bad
kids need more supervision

Ms.O said...

worris this now...please help us with an update!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

will you put up a post on your bday at least?