HURRAYYY 'LADYGUIDE' IS 70

oops!!! i meantttt 1 'tho it feels like 70 sumtimes :-)

Yessoooooo 2day is my blog-anniversary. Three hundred n sixty five days ago i became a blogger' just for the fun of it, n wat a year of fun it has been; a year of growth, learning, self-discovery and making new friends/families and communities; becoming a 9jablogger/blog reader/blog stalker also opened my eyes to many things that were happening in the world that I wasn’t aware of; it also made it easier (almost free) for me to travel to america/asia/europe n oda countries without getting/paying for a visa and even live there (4 my mind) without fear of deportation :-) In all' it has been a year of FUN 'tho weird; at times i find ma self talking 2 ma sef, cracking ma brain for sumn to write about or laughing aloud when i recollect sumn i read on blogville, i cant count the number of times i ve dreamt of some bloggers; last wk i dreamt of seeing fba at oshodi, he was selling o'dee's chips tho' he had omoibadan's voice, xsn's shape and TE's hair' lolllll no ask me how manage o :-)

I want to thank everyone dat have commented on dis blog (even the waka pass-ers) thank you for accepting me even tho u cant see, hear or perceive me :-) I' ve met many wonderful pple thru dis medium '4get say some of dem get scoin-scoin; i raise nyansh for ALL of una (afro not dat kind yansh o; cos e no easy to maintain blog (even wen bad belle pple dey put sand for our garri wit dia yamayama comments, we still stand *Gidigba! No saking!!! :-)

I planned celebrating dis anniversary with everyone' especially after being awarded the Blogger I would most like to meet in the just concluded naija bloggers awards but sumn happened to the cake i bought for d occasion; nope it didnt get burnt' neither was it stolen, rather it was crushed by a container abi na q-cabin *sigh* eyin temi' no be small thing o' dos of u dat work in vee-eye can testify to it (wetin una tink say cause allll dat hold-up yestaday morning) so i kukuma leave am for dia; (u for pack am?? even if i pack am, u go gree chop am??:-) BUT norrrin do me, norrrin do u ' we must still celebrate!!!!, daddy-showkey if u don ready, lets go......

sumbodi call ma name...lg,

pple dem calling ma name.... lg

lg-baby u don come back again o

mama dem' dem r calling ma name

even little shildren' dem r calling ma name

lg come, lg come, lg come, lg come

lg-baby u don come back again (chorus till fade :-)

THANK YOU BLOGVILLE, LETS DO THIS AGAIN NEXT YEAR (isha allah)

PS: a special shout out to these wonderful bloggers (hope u r reading), Super girl, Ajike, Ejura, 9jalines, Thots of a naija woman, Duchess, Aba boy, Aloofaa, Rethots, 007, FFF, Chi-grace, Mz dee, Shalewa, Sabira, Nikkysab, 9jachikito, Freshnfab, The last king of scotland, Tairebabs, Onome, Minky, Sasuke, 9ja fine girl, 9ja idol, Bold faze, Kemmie, Allied, Lightly, Bunnmy, Sherri, Enigma, Ms emmotion, Dee, Woomie, Lady A, Nogo, Yar'mama, Ynot, Debbie, James tubman, Pink gloves, Pink satin, Twix, Blazingfano, Someone else's life, Copido, Anonymous gal, Geisha, Uchevelli, Stella dimoko, Ice queen, Jinta, Remi united kingdom, Gllady, Darker-berry, Sandrine-enigma, Darkelcee, For the luv of me, Omohemi-benson, L'amour, Write-uche, Akannimo, Classybabe, Tininu(guy), Tininu(babe), Kayshawn, Qmoney, Simply-Lisa, Musco, Posh-buki, Manda, Archiwiz, Ibo-dude, DB, Dbalone, Alibaba, Porter d hacourt, Red sapphire n many others' numerous to mention, WETIN do una?!?!?.

PSS: most of the bloggers i mentioned have not updated in ages, some have gone private/ missing in action while others have disappeared 4rm blogville without permission (at least' i kno i didnt permit anyone) so the shout-out is a WAKE UP CALL :-)

only in 9ja....

original mgbeks formulated it, afro merixed it, dis is my version;

Funny, weird yet amazing things dat can only be associated with 9geria/9gerians :-

* Everyone is a copy-cat e.g this post :-)

* LASTMA is more dreaded than the 9gerian police

* Our lawmakers are the 1st law breakers; need examples??? :-)

* Man-no-die' man-no-rotten mentality (go look for interpreter :-)

* Politics is a do or die affair (ts self xplanatory)

* Every flying cockroach /wall gecko is a monitoring spirit

* 5 out of every 15 civillian have been harrased by a conductor/police

* If u are xceptionally beautiful, u are a mammywater or ogbanje

* 9gerians no dey fear face; last wk president yardy's convoy was attacked in jos (a whole presido)

* Everything is jazz related; (u get wrk na jazz, u marry na jazz, u get money na jazz, u no get money na ..... : -)

* There is a generator, recharge card seller, mallam on every street

* Almost everyone have climbed okada n drank pure water (i said' almost o :-)

* Single mothers r bad market; single fathers r xempted (very pathetic)

* Almost all 9ja songs has a razz word eg faayaa, koko, kentro, kolo, maga, shayo, ja'wonsi, 4kasibe (my fav)

* African-time' has gotten a new meaning; i went for a function dat was supposed to start by 9am, 6hrs later......nathing

* Some car owners want to be regarded as a bigz boy/girl; i kno a broda dat stay in a one room 'face- me- i- slap-you', shares d toilet with 15 oda tenants, queues 2 fetch water 4rm d well but maintains a tear-rubber honda baby-boy (i suspect say him own' na jazz :p

* What goes up, neva comes down; b4 b4 sweets were being sold for 1 naira (now 2 for 5naira) coke was 25naira (now 60-100naira) a gallon of kerosene was formerly 60naira (now 480/600 naira), Ajegunle to CMS formerly 30naira; now 100naira

* Flashing' is on a kentro level; somebody wld flash you' say like.....10times, only for u to cal n they ll say, 'i just say make i greet u' or a strange voice ll ask, 'ta'lon soro???? :-)

These r all i cld come up wit for now, wat r urs???????

PS: Congrats to Arsenal football club una try sha, but if una fit beat chelsea(again), i promise all of una one house each 4 lekki :-)

norrin do una!!

TGIF: did u see my phone???

James (my colleague) got to the office this morning in his jeans and prada top, 30mins later he realized he couldnt find his phone; he came to my office n the following conversation ensued;
James: o baby, nawa o' i no see my 4one again
Lg: how manage?? u sure say u no leave am 4 haus?????
James: No, i even use am receive call for cms b4 i enta bus
Lg: Cee gini???
James: cms naa!
Lg: *grinning* aaaaaah no wonda, i see ur 4one jare
James: *amazed* you sure?? for where?????
Lg: for cms naa
James: *smiling* thank very much, where 4 cms???
Lg: you kno dat place where dem dey enter 'ajah bus, e get one lonnnnnnnnng pole wey dey dia, na on top d pole i see ur 4one
James: *doubtful* El'gee u sure?????
Lg: ofcof!! infact d 4one just dey dia dey cry' 'james o jamess oo but i nor kno say na ur 'james' be dat; pele o.

*shior* yeye dey smell, who nor sabi say dem no dey bring out 4one for cms? (esp when u wan drag enter public transport) boyoyo no soji at all Haba!!! *shakes head* d phone don enta voice-mail, but if him dey lucky, dem fit re-sell am 4 am for under bridge for 5k (d 40ne is worth 30bay). He was my 2nd colleague dat had his phone stolen at cms, the other guy got to the office with a new green ear piece (e resemble xmas lite) minus d blackberry he bought 2wks ago (dat one' pesin go begin dey speak patua:-)

I remember the first time my 4one was stolen/borrowed, it was 'may 29 2007 during the inauguration of d present lagos state governor (BRF) at tafawa balewa square, i was on my way to ikoyi with a male friend to drop my cv wit one of his other male friend; since the day (aka black tuesday) had being declared a public holiday, we decided to go thru cms (thinking d road wld be free of traffic; By the time we got to race course the ceremony had already ended and many AC supporters (garbed in the inaugural ankara) were trooping out, we were stil discussing the loss of DPA's jimi agbaje when they started robbing vehicles on the road, when it got to our turn, the boy just carry my bag begin dey go...... WETIN??????? na so i begin shout, 'my cv, my cv! he took my ceevee!! ' My fear fear friend held my hand and told me not to worry, FOR WHERE???? na so i begin the open door, nee jst grabbed me, begin beg me say 'lg abeg o, abi u wan die??? dat boy don smoke igbo' him even carry gun' EHEN??? 'make him collect d money, drop my bag na', my cries fell on deaf ears as he held on to me tight till they all left (others brandishing knives n all even came to re-check if they had 4gotten to take sumn'till date i still cringe wherever i m in dat vicinity.
PS: The next day 'nee replaced everything including MY CV:-)
PSS: Bros Fash, if you are reading dis, u still owe me a brand new NOKIA ----- (make i no lie' na nokia 2650 :-)

The 2nd time was also in a car, i was with dangote' at harbour works bustop along ikorodu road; there was traffic (as usual) the next thing we heard a loud noise close to d car, looked out n saw a young man pointing to the tyres, thinking the tyres had burst' dangote wind down And we saw ourselves looking at a black/brown/red/blue thing (maybe na biro/spanner/plier but we no need confirmation, we just surrender our 4ones (d only thing he asked for) if una see as dangote dey shiver????? u rememba dat 'shan george/orange drug advert' dat shaky shaky daddy one, yelz' na so :-)
PS: This one happened few days after 'nee replaced the first 4one

The 3rd time was at *drum roll* OSHODI, lets just say i walked into a ram-fight and the rest like they say in oyinbo film is history :-) but eyin temi after dos hypertension-threatening incidents (and seriessssss of prayas and fastn) i don dey shine my eyez like scofield' (esp when i dey dos area wey omo boiz dey run things) i carry my 4one in a pouch, infact let me give u a HINT on how to recognize me (woomie hope u r reading); look out for a fine yellow chic sporting a 'gallas and ALWAYS wearing a black pouch on her wrist at #%#% every morning by 9.00 am or 5 ' o clock in the evening.
PS: If una go harass innocent pesin wey tanda him own for bustop.........'you are on ur own o :-)

**NAIJA BLOGGERS AWARD UPDATE**
If YOU have already voted but DIDNT vote for LADYGUIDE, u berra go to a cafe NOW n correct ur MISTAKE; forget fba's threats, na today?????? e don tey wey nyansh get centre-parting jare, NORRIN DEY HAPPEN !!!!

Have a fabulous w'end

LADYGUIDE' LIVE N NAKED

*Do not adjust ur browser

Hehehehehehehehehe see as dem dey run come' even lenie, molly and garfield; KAI!!!! afrobabe c'mon stop pushing qmoney and simplegal' they were on the line before you, abi na everyday u go dey carry 1sttttttt??? :-) mizcynic, ibiluv eku id malud*

*clears throat* Yesooooooo i want to use this opportunity to thank everyone that nominated me as the Bloggers Choice and the Most Likable Blogger in the **NAIJA BLOGGERS AWARDS;

I must confess, when i first read about the awards i was like 'dem don carry come' tho i frequently checked the site for updates and comments' i never nominated anybody not even myself (no lie) neither did i ask anyone to nominate me, so u can imagine my shock/surprise when i checked on saturday and saw my blogname among the nominees, in my head (itsalie!!!) i had to refresh to confirm it was really 'Ladyguide i was seeing and not 'Ladipo. Thank you for believing in me, i feel soooo humbled, honoured, h%!!#&&&%!!# infact i dey fel like obasanjo o o) ese'gan

I also want to commend the organisers' sting, toluwa, geisha, funms and co for a job well done ( i know say e no easy) although i xpected to see the names of some notable naija bloggers like and ....... BUT, who am i to grumble' AFTERALL i didnt nominate anybody (thank God for category B)

Once again, i say a big THANK YOU for the nomination; for those that didnt nominate me......(u still dey read??) Abegggggggggggggi go vote for LADYGUIDE inshort any place u see LA. . . .*(sorry LInda) just click on dat small round button near it. *God bless u as u vote.

Norrin do una'

PS: fba abeg come help me begin share the zobo*