Wednesday, February 25, 2009

G for gun

"Aunty e'gee i ll tut you o' were the words 3yr old Ola hurled at me as soon as i entered their house, 'backtosender' i replied (in my head); instead of g'morning ma or mummy afternoon, na shoot him wan shoot, i confronted his mom' only for her to say, "Fear ' Fear na water gun o" Ehennn even ifffffff na 'akamu gun or kuli kuli gun' same no'ni..... abi how una c am?? isnt it too early for a 3yr old boy to know abt guns????? mummy tk /jidesalu/ 9jalines/007 i nid ur input(s) or when is the right time to introduce our kids to guns, as in 'ifeanyi meet gun, gun meet ifeanyi', some parents even buy it for their daughters (e be like say doll-baby don finish for market?)

The rate at which we xpose our children to violence is alarming, the oda day our bus was passing thru vee'eye, we passed a school and the first thing i saw was G for gun (with a pix) painted on the school wall' Wat happened to G for goat, G for gala, or even G for elGee; 'WHY g for gun, i complained to dangote n he said maybe its bcos its a naval/airforce school, FOR KIDS? i retorted' na so him jst face front :) Wat abt dos pictures of our 9ja delta boiz dressed in fatigues splashed in the media daily, wat abt dos cartoons, dos movies, dos music videos, dos adverts......... last wk i saw an ad' where a man was using a gun to kill the mosquitos biting his sleeping daughter; in my head 'CREATIVE but the kids are also watching.

I remember the verrrrrrrrrry 1st time i saw a bullet (not even a gun) it was in the office (early dis year); if i tel una say aproko dey pay, na lie o :) i karry my leg go visit our security men for their office, na so i reach dia begin halla, "anything for the girls, anything for the girls", dem just sidon dey look me dey laff' as i dey open and ransack dia drawers, 1st drawer: empty, 2nd drawer: old newspaper 'shior, 3rd drawer: bullllll (e small' come black one kind like.... like.... na bullet sha) omo' i no wait to confirm d black thing wey follow am, na so i begin stammer, say i dey go down; i sure say if to say officer p look well well' him for see yellow stain for my trousa (na piss) mehnn' d kind fear wey grip me eh, since dat day' i dey greet dem 4rm afar :)

Dos of u dat are familiar wit wazobia fm (a radio station in lagos) can attest to d fact that yaw and his colleagues kill more than 100 nigerians daily, HABA!!!! imagine some people calling to say, "Ehen yaw na me' abeg shooooooot my husband, yess my husband, he still dey sleep' or "omotunde, how ur side? ehen i want make u shoot me gun, or "oga yaw, shoot my friend timothy well well' 3rd mainland block o (na timothy block am???:) after d request d next thing u go hear na, ratatatata ratrata Boom!! tatata piuum Boom!!, some callers will even specify where they want the person to be shot' like the leg or hand; and una say na joke?????? i dey wait for d day wey person go phone say, "YAW ABEG 'HELEP ME SHOOT LG FOR.......... yaw go just hear gbosaaaai for him face 4rm nowhere, abi which kind rough play be dat ????? :)


Granny with 30yrs old finger nails; sumbori say ohon'ohon


Ms.O said...


LG said...

yesssoooooooooooo, O'noodle oya chop knuckle :)

Ms.O said...

LOOOL OMG LG!!! you always make my day!!! Na wa oo soo guns are now this famous in naija? I gats to come back home man..and that wazobia fm ish is hilarious..plz explain it more...what is the purpose of it?

QMoney said...

me 2nd!!!

QMoney said...

u are so refreshing!!!!
yes oh,the guns thing is disturbing.i remember watching a movie with my 5year oild niece,the gal threw up and she js screaamed "she is pregnant",i was alarmed!!
till i was 10,i thought one had to eat a lot to get pregnant,till i was 24(now,dats really sloooww sha),i dint know where kids came out from gan gan.
i tire for this our society oh.
lol @ d woman with the nails.all d weird things dat happen in dis world don tire does she eat?

Afrobabe said...

guns...cant say I would prefer they didn't know about it oh...wouldn't it be a shame if they saw armed robber and went to play with his gun???

LG said...

MS O: dearie, its all part of fun (dangerous fun if i may say so BCOS wat if by mistake the bullet come touch ...... :)
norrin do wazobia fm sha

QMONEY: ITSALIE!!!!!! qmony was able to decode my peegin :)
lolll@ ur niece saying ..she's pregnant, haba!!! dat gal quick spoil o then as per u' tinking too much food causes pregnancy, dats a juu concept but then u aint far 4rm d truth :)
@mama'the'mama: havent u heard of a steward :)

AFROBABY: babes dis one wey u carry 3rd today, abi u no set ur alarm???? :)
@kids playing with armed robber gun......i reject it IJN amen :)

Rita said...

G for gun? Na wa oh. Please don't ask them what K and S is for.

What is someone doing with nails for over 30 years? She no dey cook?

Dee! said...

Thanks for making me laugh!
G for gun ke?! Na wa O! Well as a matter of principle I do not welcome toy guns in my house. My kids know better. Not even water gun! There are a thousand and one educational toys that can be given to a child, so why waste money on guns?

Wetin dat ol mama de do with the long finger nails?

rayo said...

Lg, na so we se am. anyway i remember havin a troy gun when i was small but i neva bcom armed robber now. but i dont kno sha, kids seem to say it all d tym, d i'll shoot u thing, its harmless, i think.
where dem get this grandma from?

Caelestis Angelus! said...

Kai, those nails are horendious my God! Even my nephew has the same gun probs o, its popular these days but not right

LG said...

RITA: dearie' K is for kokolette one...two while S is for shayo,
shebi i get am??? :)
@mama'the'mama: i ll repeat it for the last time, una neva hear of steward???? haba!!!! :)
*howz d fam

DEE: nne na u own u talk o, i sure say if i buy water gun wey dey sing 'e get as e dey do me' ur kids ll continue to pray for me :)
*howz wrk, no river-trinity i pressume :)

RAYO: ahhhhh i'wo?????? i don dey suspect u tele'tele abi u go deny say if i buy u toy-gun u no go collect? :)

CAELESTIS: dearie' u call it..horrendous' i call it ' fashion :)
*howz wrk? hope u r doing well

Artsville said...

Yeah, it's such a pity how much we take for granted. I have never been able to understand the concept of toy guns for instance. G for gun?wow, that's a first.

doll said...

so true. not only are exposed to a lot of shit so early these days

fluffycutething said...

Don't intend for my boy to play with any guns oh biko

LG said...

ARTSVILLE: toy guns, toy bullets, play station 1,2,3 n d list goes on ....(like my frd wld say na oyibo dey make am' na we dey buy am :)
*Thanks for dropping by, i xpect more visits tho :)

DOLL: dearie' if i start to list the kinds wey my ear don hia 4rm these so-called small children, i no go go haus 2day or even 2mrw sef *sigh* may God save us

MUMMY AYOBAMI: wise decision hon' if i may say so myself, i hope Oga share dis view
*now howz my boy doing.... hope u stop stealing/thiefing/licking..... u kno na :)

theicequeen said...

K is for kerewa!!!! hehehe....G is for gun ke? wharahell sort of joke is that? lmao at akamu and kulikuli guns...anyhow it wants to be i wouldn't encourage children having guns as toys and casually playing all them " i will shoot you" games, cuz that kind of familiarity will help them cross the line o!

theicequeen said...

...and who dresses that woman up? i have enough problems negotiating with my jeans zip and button wiv my very reasonable lenght nails as it is....

miz-cynic said...

i dey always dey gbadun u,lg....walahi....but how far with those fingernails.....nyama!.e come resemble rope.

JideSalu's Diary said...

Give it up 4 LG.....What a beautiful write up. I am getting better at reading pidgin english and thanks to you LG.

To the matter at hand, you are so spot on. It is the media that bring up the majority of children nowadays. Parents are busy. Busy? Doing what? Working! For who? I don't know? It beats me.

It's true, why does it have to be G for Guns? We as parents are responsible for guiding our children. As for me and wifey, we guide our children on what to watch on TV. We assist with there self esteem, as this is very important. We guide them with the type of music they listen to.
As parents, we are guardians and we hope and pray, once on their own, they can make informed decisions.

Well done LG for bringing this up.

Bloggers out there, we have a responsibility to raise issues such as this and I commend LG.

LG said...

ICE QUEEN: buhahahahaha@K is for kerewa' BAD GALLLL:)
@mama'the'mama, omoge na u own u dey o, check out g'mama's posing, u wan try her tie-top :)
*how ur side??? e don tey wey i see u for dis bustop

MIZCYNIC:lolllllllllll @rope, babes which kind rope??? is it fetching-bucket rope, skipping rope or owu'???? :)

JIDESALU: egbon' ese gannnnnn, wit dads like u, which pikin nids a toy gun??? :)
@parents being too busy i ll do a post on dat later
BTW dont tell me ur kids dont kno how to sing e get as e dey do me' do me :)

tobenna said...

Lady Guide.
Lady Guide.
Who you dey guide sef?
I leave your case for God to answer oh.
I need to listen to Yaw tomorrow morning on my way to work then. Let's see what this shooting is all about.

wordmerchant said...

As if society hasn't got enough issues already, nowadays kids are exposed to too much negativity too young. I wouldn't let my kids play with a gun if i had one...i will buy them guitars, drums, dolls..whatever. However like you said, the media does not help in anyway shape or form.

Like you said, whatever happened to G for elGee!!!

Olamild said...

hehehe na wa

LG said...

TOBENNA: LOL Nna lef me hand jare, see as i dey sneeze for office :)
@Yaw: 2mrw too far o, u fit tune in now, na Matse dey duty :)

JARRAI:@..whatever happened to G for elGee!!!' swerri' helep me ask dem o :)
@drums, guitar and doll ' soooooo wat wld u do if ur kids say mummy, i dont want a guitar,its boorrrrrine :)

OLAMIDE: omoge dis one pass nawa o, u nid to see how ola pose wit d toy gun no be small thing o :)
*how r u doing

Femi B said...

loved that radio station, i listened to it while i was in naija. ABout the guns thing, i think its weird for a school to have G- for gun. Over here, An 11 year old boy just shot his fathers pregnant girlfriend killing her and her unborn child, with a gun his father bought for him on xmas day or some holiday. Never expose kids to guns

Enkay said...

Hehehe! Thanks for updating. And as usual it's a funny one.
But seriously, why don't the schools just stick to G for goat? Wasn't that all we knew back in the day?

As for yaw, I don't particularly like the gun shooting part but the one where they say - "Yaw, I dey feel hot abeg pour me water" - that one makes me laugh!

mizchif said...

First, lemme just say ohon'ohon.
Dose nails r creepy mehn.

As for d gun matter, i can't even shout.
Lately, i've been thinking, when i have my children, they will be home schooled by me, we shall live in a cave,no tv,no radio, nothing!

anonymous gal said...


simplegal said...

Asa nwanyi, biko no vex for me na! Thanks for the birthday wishes.

Lol @ "i sure say if to say officer p look well well' him for see yellow stain for my trousa (na piss)" LG, you will not use laugh to kill me!

G for gun??? That's a first!
This is a nice post and an excellent way of bringing up an issue that needs to be addressed.

Naija Bloggers Awards 2009 said...

LG..where av u beeennn? u r missing out on the fun going on in blogsville oh!

Come ova

Too many things scare me these days, including this gun matter. g for gun just sparks the curiosity of the kids...

LG said...

FEMI: *mouth agape* ITSALIE, i sure say dat boy nid deliverance n u say he is just 11, for 9ja na primary 5 him suppose dey o *sigh*
may God save us

ENKAY: sooooo wat delayed u??? abi u nor see okada?????? :)
hmmm' dearie me sef tire for dem,
*LOLLLL u sef dey gbadun yaw, go on soun :)
BTW i tot dat water they are always pouring was cold-water :)

MIZCHIF: loll@saying ohon'ohon' u deserve hamper o :)
@....we shall live in a cave, Nne no try dat kind rof play o,
anywey i sure say ur oga no go gree (no champions league??) :)

ANONYMOUS GAL: welcome back dear' i just left ur blog
(i even came 1st) *bats lashes*

SIMPLE GAL: abegggggggg no bribe me with dos 'sweet words'

NBA: rillyyy as in really!!!!! :) i dey come' make i eat finish :)
@..many things scare me these days' u can say dat again, i stil have goosebumps after reading Femi B's comment

wordmerchant said...

Ha!! if they don't want doll, guitar, or drums..i will dash them plenty punishment. They can sweep the yard, peel yam, polish the floor until its shining like moonlight lol!

I have de-coded ur word i think..does se'owapa mean, how are you or how u dey???

aloted said...

quiet shocking...
my mum didnt allow toy guns in the house..and i wont allow it in mine..

may God deliver us oooooooo

bumight said...

lol, its funny but sad. we think its "manly" for boys to want to play wih guns. em, so whats the phone number for wazobia fm again? *wink*

LG said...

JARRAI: lollll@..polish the floor until its shining like moonlight'
Babes olopa(police) go jst arrest u :)
@se'owapa' i ll only give u the hamper,
IF you CONFESS who helped u decode it;
shebi na GOOGLE???? :)

ALOTED: Dearie AMEN o'
*howz popsie, hope he is getting better
it is well

BUMIGHT: come omoge' e be like say u wan chop peppered-egba '
u and dat yaw yaw yaw :)

wordmerchant said...

no no no...i want my hamper, please put in indo mee, plantain chips and fresh suya meat..

my friend helped me..."special friend" *wink

Olówó said...

G for gun ke? No o, that's a lil too much in my opinion. I will not allow my children to play with guns, they are not play things and the fact that people will give their children guns (toy or otherwise) perplexes me. I remember my old room mate got a gun license and was planning on getting a gun, I promptly told her to wait until she moved out because I can't live in a house with guns, anything can happen.

Danny Bagucci said...

guess playing with a gun is only s short step away from the video games the kid willplay in future, nothing to sweat over IMO

Anonymous said...

LG, this is a cool site. I like the layout....very nice

I realized last week that my supervisor carries gun to work. A portable gun that he puts in his trouser pocket without anyone knowing. that experience taught me to be very mindful of people before going into road rage.

thanks for stopping by my page

@Olowo, I agree with you that with gun, anything can happen

~Sirius~ said...

G for Gun........Seriously?

What has the world come too?

joicee said...

Girl you

lol@your saying back to sender in your small pikin now

But for real....violence is now commonplace in many societies one has to be careful

LG said...

JARRAI: lolllll hamper ko' pampers ni :)
after u do ojoro (cheat) u still want prize HABA!!! :)

OLOWO: wise decision dearie'
as per ur roomie getting a gun liscense....dem do her :)
* Thanx for dropping by, i xpect more visits tho :)

DANNY BAGUCCI: ehennnn so u r saying , kini big deal, kini big deal, shebi shebi "they are children" :)
*welcome to my blog

9JAGIRL: awwww thanx dear' i feel like giving u a hamper, u want????? :)
as per ur supervisor carrying a gun to wrk' i ll advise u to stylishly give him 10-20 yrds, abi which kind impression be dat or him be isakaba

LG said...

SUSU'BABY: G for GOD, G for GOD, G for GOD
i jst feel like painting dis over the g for gun
haba!!!! dem no try at all
* howz wrk, hope evrything segemenge :)

JOICEE: lollllllllll namesake dont blame o, u need to c see d kind eye wey Ola look me talk am, e remain small sef' i for give am small pikin abara :)
* hope u r doing well

Uzezi said...

kids are really learning too fast these days. and that G for Gun on a school wall is really bad.

ps: i sure say u no go ask those secuirties anythng for the girls again anytime soon. lol

isha said...

I came here yesterday o. I was going to be like top twenty. Only for blogger to decide that my post wasn't going to show up. They just flushed it down the toilet. Mschew! I vexed and left. Lol.

Anyways, what I said (I think) - It's really alarming how violence is the order of the day now. I know that keeping kids away from the reality of its existence won't be the smartest thing. My mum taught me something about how it's the one thing you tell people to keep away from that they gravitate towards.

So, maybe the best thing would be to educate kids about violence but also explain why it's wrong and shouldn't become fun. Water guns are fun tho. I remember one time when I was in college and we had a water fight - Dorm against Dorm. See 23yr olds running around with Water Shakabulas.


Afrobabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Afrobabe said...

BTW...those nails scare me...

Anonymous said...


Thank u o for stopping by. I think say you 4 don get part 2 4 d story. How i 4 do?

Now u c, I am getting very good at this, or am I not teacher?

By the way, you need to pay me a visit at


SHE said...

Yes o! Na real big issue.
Una no hear di story long time ago? One pikin wey see him papa gun, tink say na toy. Gbau! Gbau!, na so e fire, shoot im broda, kill am. True talk o!

Wen I dey small, if my mama catch you dey play gun play, na im be say you don die!

NB: Dis woman na winsh. Confirm!

LG said...

UZEZI: buhahahahahahahahahaha babes so na d kind plan wey u get for me be dis?????
thank God say blogger don xpose u 2day :-)
*as per kids learning fast, u can say dat again(S) so saddd!!

ISHA: aww sori abt blogger, at times him dey get scoin-scoin:)
*as per mumc teaching, it just reminds me of one song like dat... my mama tell me not to play with faya, faya ll burn u, faya ll burn u x2 :-)
i agree kids need to be educated abt violence(esp nowadays children),like bros.jidesalu said its part of our responsibilities as parents/adults
@playing water gun......una be abayaaaaaaa :-)

AFROBABY: eyaaa pele dear, i understand'
her nails are pure AYAMATANGA :-)

BABAJIDESALU: lollllllllllll u try but u still need to attend peegin lesson, no worry as soon as STANDTALL return, she go begin coach u ....yes she was once like u,
now she be class captain/monitor/prefect :-)
BTW its free on charge, no lesson fee or handouts but no noize making o :-)
***sooo wetin u keep 4 me? i nid xpo :)

SHE: buhahahahahahaha@ dis woman na winsh :)
BTW i like ur mumc jare, she soji no be small, why small pikin go dey play with gun?????
san'san(sand) don finish????? :-)
*hope u r doing well


you are crazy! And that pic is crazier!!!!

My sista, my children have not been introduced to guns oh! The world is violent enough, I am not ready for guns to be part of my children's life - real or fake ones.

Come swing by Nigerian Curiosity. Shebi you dey Lagos? Come share your thoughts on who has been declared the Nigerian Curiosity of 2008.

Omotee! said...

LG don kill me, i don laff tire!

i dont intend to introduce my kids to guns (real, water, imaginary) until they are 6 or so, will decide. but my point is i dont think kids should be introduced to violence at such tender ages.
i wont allow violent video games as well.

Lolia said...

Were you trying to kill me with that picture? Ewwwwwwww!

Meanwhile loooooooooooool at 'G' for 'Gun'....It's not funny but in a way it is...I'm not sure that I've ever seen an actual gun...I might faint...

LG said...

MUMMY TK: ooohhhh why naaa? u dey fia? i ve been imagining the kind of pranks bomboy ll play with a talking water gun :)
have a fab w'end

OMOTEE: Babes too much laughter ll make u yaso' (u ve been warned :)
n yep i support no violent video games ' wetin happen to Ludo, snake n ladder, n homewrk??? :)

LOILA:lolll@ were u tryin to kill me, MAYBE :)
soooo u MIGHT faint if u see a real gun,
i.e u re not sure if u ll faint or not....
PLZZZZZ come to my office :)

fantasy queen said... come u're not working with wazobia fm yet?
i'm sure they've been looking for u tey

the issue if guns is byond introducing ur child to it. its in everyday things, from the children books around, to the cartoons, and even carrer day or day outs in nursery schools. they see police men and soldiers with guns, the see pix of police chasing rubbers with guns.
guns represent 'heroism' to them. guns are used by the good guys to chase the bad guys, thus they want to have it to act out being a hero...

Buttercup said...

G for gun ke??? Haba!

Writefreak said...

Honestly i don't see the need to expose kids to guns, there's too much violence in the world already!
A few days ago Mr and i were watching cartoon network and we counted almost all the cartoons, everything was full of violence men, i said well i would def be using a lot of that parental control when the larondos come along, so help us God!
Lol at G for elgee...abeg which one be G for Gun, God have mercy!

Naijalines said...

Those nails are sumn else o.
LG how you dey?

Olufunke said...

VEry funny
I agreee with you, its not the best to expose children to guns and violence
and G for gun is really really bad, I used to know G for gate, G for goat

and I trip for the nail picture o!


haba now. Update, biko.


Jinta said...

i beg, how the heck does that woman eat or sleep or drive or, come to think of it, bathe and wipe her bum?

Jinta said...

you know, everytime i come here, 'play poker online' opens up on my pc. you sure you're not infected?

Anonymous said... the finger nails...ewwww

Afrobabe said...

Not fair oh...I would have come first in that new post mscheeeewww

Buttercup said...

congrats on ur nominations..u deserve them!

Anonymous said...

Hi LGgggggggggg

I was here.Just saying hi.


Anonymous said...

............hey sweets...been missing you!!

blazingdaola said...

still as exciting as when i last visited.true the world is moving faster than a bullet,ture cvrime rate ia up neck to neck with it but but guns and kids-i say no thank you very much

ibiluv said...

yaw and his peeps make me laff!!!!!!!!!

G for gun on a school wall is so wrong......

omoh said...

LG,na only u dey write post wey peson go laff sote belle wan u piss 4 dey fear bullet,if u con see gun nko,u go pass on eh?lol.

on the gun thing,i no know how we wan teach seems parenting gets harder by the day.
'G for gun.what happened to G 4 goat,gala?'...lollllll.