LADYGUIDE

TODAY IN HISTORY...

2011-07-14T18:00:00.000+01:00

Marriage is not for everyone....

2011-06-16T13:20:00.000+01:00

Discuss

* u have less than 30 mins :)

knock! knock!!!!

2011-06-09T11:18:00.002+01:00

Anybody home?????

Phew! its bn a while; How r my favourite peeps?? Haba! No answer..? i say How una dey?? Shuo! still no reply...????? ok o, na una sabi; LOL abeg make una no vex, na werk.

A lot has happened since the last time i was here; GEJ have bn sworn in, we hv a new speaker (IMO....old wine in new bottle), Etteh declared innocent, my assistant has cooled-down small, Dangote fumbled, someone bashed my car (my fault tho) and ofcourse the 10billion naira scam *sigh* which way Nigeria?!?!?! neways i eagerly await EFCC's report sha, huh??? wat is dat????? is it not part of my money?????? LOL

So i hrd/read dat nominations for d the naija blog awards for 2011 has started, u can go here to nominate moi, u kno u want/have to (ok' please, abeg, biko, ejo', mbuok :)

Ehen B4 i forget dis gist, its abt our children o; d oda day i was reading a newspaper n got to the kiddies corner page; the topic was, 'why did your mommy marry your daddy'; Eyin temi the answers were hilarious, Hear them.......

*My mummy married my daddy so dat she can give birth to baby; Mum's job: cooking food. Which food: pineapple

*My mummy married my daddy married so he ll not cook. Mum's job: cook rice. Dad's job: barb his hair.

*My mummy married my daddy so she ll be shouting;

*My mummy did not tell me why she married my daddy, she did not tell me anything

*I dont kno why my mummy married my daddy. Dad's job: sweep house. Mum's job: cook rice

LOL these children can put someone in trouble o BUT we (parents) on d oda hand hv to be very careful and urm... did i mention dat these kids are under the ages of 5 *sigh* my pipo dont be fooled by their looks and size o, they observe and they dont forget; and for you shouty-shouty women, why do u like shouting ehn????:)

Ewo!! It looks like its going to rain

i ll be back, i pwomise :)

I AM GUDLUCK JONATHAN

2011-04-05T12:00:00.002+01:00

*dodges flying brooms* LOL Abego!! but wait o, who came up wit dat idea sef????? Aloofaa n co, pls educate me, cos each time I see dat advert …. well…. urm…. it urm.... HEY! I cld hv sworn Rev chris okotie had sumn similar, so is it a case of copy-copy or ….(b4 my keyboard puts me in trouble)

how una dey?????? kilon shele??? *deep sigh* the elections are here already; i pray, i hope, i wish it..well......goes well (ami)

finally got an apartment after squatting in a hotel for nearly 2 months; my pipo my eyes saw nwii, but i thank God dat chapter is finally over except for the leaking sink n the doors.....

my asst is already showing herself; omo see me see overtaking by force LOL i'm cool tho cos i now kno who i'm ~~stuck~~ dealing wit; *hiss* n some of u advised me to live wit her in d same yard.

my new station is ok, less gbamgbamdimdim (i miss 'gidi' mehn), praying for more sales, i gats to win award(s) dis yr o (ami :)

is it me or are our men afraid of *successful women cos dangote is now having cold feet(s). MEN!! wat do they really want sef? neways time will tell meanwhile *hums* nobody test me..test me..test me :)

one of the gud thing here is dat i get to eat one of my favorite ~~soup~~ dish everyday; *looks at tummy n shakes head* i cant remember d last time i took purge; LOL there sumn abt d word p-u-r-g-e dats cracks me up, i tink its d image dat comes to mind; can u remember dat rubber thing our moms use to harass our poor bumbum wit wen we were little, Here's wat i mean....

LOL i dont envy him at all; pele dearie its for ur own good trust me :)

hv a nice one :)

i'm back....

2011-03-03T12:20:00.008+01:00

well, kind of :)

Hello good people of a great nation, how una dey?? sorry for my disappearing act jare, like my pple ll say, its a longgggggggggg story but to cut it short, i 'm no longer in Abj; yep your's truly is now based in ...urm .. i dont feel like sharing yet :)
newayz i've moved, no longer close to the National treasury; i suspect a conspiracy :) but closer to home *winks*

oops!! I gat ta go, got less than 5mins to post this, all dis internet runs makes me so uncomfortable, *adjusts chair*.

i ll be back....
Btw: is it cool living in d same 'compound' with ur colleague (n a junior staff too) please i nid ur opinion(s) asap.

Thank you in advance :)

@*pets project's my yoyo bitters, jo ma binu

WHAT DO YOU SEE???? (warning: graphic pix )

2011-01-12T11:01:00.001+01:00

i see his teeth *SMH*

pix thanks to santiago

OMG!

2011-01-07T14:06:00.006+01:00

*ssmh* Is this what DEMOCRACY is all about?? running pple down bcos of ..... i mean, is it a do or die sumn? someone has to call these ppl to order, OGINNI???

HNY2011

2011-01-06T11:00:00.114+01:00

If you are reading this, it means u made it; PRAISEEEE DA LORD, SUMBORI!!! :)
altho *sigh* it urm started on a shaky note for some (a minute of silence for friends/family members we lost as a result of the jos and abuja bomb blast)

So its a new year, new expectations, goals, dreams n ofcourse its Election year in our beloved country; i pray God's covenant for Nigeria is fulfilled. i also pray for a violence free election (its possible; atleast i kno i wont be fighting anyone :)

*Lord, we ask for fairness and justice in the balloting procedures as we come out to vote this year, May it be just and equitable, revealing the truth with clarity in Jesus name (Amen

Hw was ur hols? enuf chopchop i trust, ehn wats dat??? u dey deny??? oya look at ur tummy, LOL we thank God. Yours truly was in benue state during d xmas break (blog post up next) n it was choptilludrop, eyin temi no be small sumn o, na eat, sleep; eat, sleep n eat again, inshort let me stop here cos its better experienced than imagined. Ehen p.e.t project u told me i ll give birth to twins if i eat benue yam shebi?; babe i eat yam soteeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy (u get??:) so in 9 months that is urm.....um...*looks at calender* lets say in september or october or thereabout we go throw parry n Psquare go perform *fingers tightly crossed* LOL

Happy newyr once again

BTW may your troubles last as long as ur resolutions, yeaaaaa(dodges blows) i kid i kiddddddddddddd :)

Congrats madam, its a .........

2010-12-09T11:30:00.004+01:00

so my colleague's wife 'put to be bed ' on monday n we ve been popping mineral and fish roll like no 2mrw. the guy's so happy, he just dey call announce to everybody, "iyawo mi ti bi mo" (my wife has given birth), and naturally they ask him "ki lo bi??" (wetin she born??:) his reply... BIG BOY!!!

eyin temi, which one be small boy again??? neways congrats to *juwon n his wife, hopefully i ll attend d iko-omo (naming ceremony) Now to d koko and its a question, Why is it dat, as soon as u tell someone dat you or ur wife/ sister/mother have delivered a child, d next thing they ask is, BOY or GIRL???. I highlighted the word 'naturally' (above) cos i 've noticed we are all guilty of dis; *coughs* abeg stop looking behind u jare, its you i'm talking to, or u wan talk say u neva ask b4?? :)

i dont kno how it started or if its a general thing but i dont feel its proper, we hardly ask how d mother is faring, all we want 2 kno is obi'rin or oku'rin??. my colleague was so sure his wife was going to give birth to a boy, i asked him why he was so sure n if she had gone for scanning to check d sex of the child n he replied confidently, 'leave dat matter, i kno bcos na me put am dia' (aku'ko:) so somehow i was hopeing/praying it wld be a girl *mischevious grin* weda him for deny am LOL but the question remains, why do we......' i 've heard couples argue about who they want first, d woman go say na girl n d man go say na boy or vice versa *sigh* i dont undastand it but i kno dat mine ll be 2 big boys ~~psquare~~ IJN :)

Congrats to blogville's latest mummy #youknoyasef and other mothers, may our children continue to put smiles on our faces (amen)

Hv a blessed day'

in other news:

2010-11-25T11:30:00.019+01:00

*INEC ROLLS OUT NEW TIME TABLE*

S/N	ACTIVITY	DATE	REMARKS
1	Issuance of Notice of election	23^rd November, 2010	Section 30 (1) of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides not later than 90 days before the election.
2	Conduct of Party primaries	Commence 26^th November 2010 End 15^th January, 2011	To enable Political Parties democratically nominate candidates for the elections as required by Section 87 of the Electoral Act, 2010
3	Campaign by Political Parties in public	Commences on 1^st December, 2010	Section 99(1) of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides 90 days before polling day.
4	Collection of Form CF001 (Affidavit/Personal Particulars of candidates) and Form CF002 (Party’s list of candidates) for all elections.	15^th – 22^nd December 2010
5	Registration of Voters	15^th – 29^th January, 2011	Pursuant to Section 9(5) of the Electoral Act, 2010
6	Display of Register of Voters for claims and objections.	3^rd February, 2011 –8^th February, 2011	Pursuant to Section 19(1) of the Electoral Act, 2010

7	Last day for submission of Forms CF001 and CF002 at the National Headquarters of the Commission for all Elections.	31^st January, 2011	Section 31(1) of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides for not later than 60 days before the election.
8	Publication of Personal Particulars of candidates. (CF001) for all Elections.	6^th February, 2011	Section 31(3) of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides for publication within 7 days of the receipt of the form CF001
9	Collection of Nomination forms	7^th – 10^th February, 2011
10	Last day for withdrawal by candidate(s)/replacement of withdrawn candidate(s) by Political Parties for all Elections.	14^th February, 2011	Section 35(1) of Electoral Act, 2010 provides not later than 45 days to the election.
11	Publication of Personal Particulars (CF001) of substitute candidate(s) for all Elections.	21^st February, 2011	Section 32(3) of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides for publication within 7 days of the receipt of the form CF001
12	Last day for the submission of Nomination forms by Political Parties for all Elections.	21^st February, 2011
13	Publication of official Register of voters for the elections.	2^nd March, 2011	Section 20 of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides not later than 30 days before the election.

14	Publication of list of nominated candidates.for all Elections	2^nd March, 2011 to16^th March, 2011	Section 34 of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides at least 30 days before the day of election.
15	Publication of Notice of Poll for:for all Elections	18^th March, 2011	Section 46 of the Electoral Act, 2010 provides not later than 14 days before the election.
16	Submission of names of Party Agents for all Elections to the Resident Electoral Commissioners (RECS.)	25^th March, 2011	Section 45 of the Electoral Act, 2010. Provides not later than 7 days before the election.
17(a)(b)(c)	Last day/time for campaigns National Assembly Elections Presidential Election Governorship/State Assembly Elections	1^st April, 201 8^th April, 2011 15^th April, 2011	Section 99(1) of the Electoral Act, 2010 prohibits Advertisements or broadcasts of campaigns 24 hours prior to the day of election.
18(a) (b) (c)	Date of election National Assembly Elections Presidential Election Governorship/State Assembly Elections	2^nd April, 2011 9^th April, 2011 16^th April, 2011	Section 25 of the Electoral Act, 2010, dates of elections to be appointed by the Commission.

*JOKE OF THE DAY*

Teacher: John, whats the full meaning of JEGA?

Student: ermm...er.....Jonathan Ebere Goodluck Azikiwe...?????

LOL i wonder how they think of these things,

Happy thanksgiving o jare.

PS: NITTY GRITTY shebi u asked for an update?? u've bn served :)

No' i am not Ibo, i'm Delta-Ibo

2010-10-29T10:00:00.003+01:00

i heard a lady say on radio dis morning, n i said to dangote, 'Na so e dey take start', abi which one is delta ibo and original ibo again? Look at wat is happening in cross river n some parts of Our country; when are we going to start seeing ourselves as one. Dis week, 13 containers of sophisticated arms and ammunitions was intercepted in Apapa port and pple are asking, who would want to carry out such dastardly act in nigeria. eyin temi, they r not ninjas o, they are humans (wat else can i call dem) like you and i, and yes na woman born dem, yet they wld see no qualms in taking another man's life *smh* We've bn called terrorists in the past, WHAT will they call us now??? :(

talking of crossriver, i hv dis colleague in the office who bears a 'calabar' name, d oda day i called her to come n see her Governor on tv; as soon as she saw it was godswill akpabio, she said in an icy tone, "Mbouk, i am not akwaibom o, i'm from cross river", 'Really, wats d difference?' i asked n she replied, "They have winch" (i kid not), 'Una nko, wetin una get?? i fired back, she just said "Mbuok" and walked away. LOL

btw: Mbuok is not my real name o, it means PLEASE in calabar, :)

Moving along.....

so i visited ozaveshe's blog yesterday n saw condolence messages left there by some of us; i was touched but wondered what wld hv happened if ALL our comments needed the blog owner’s approval *sigh* dat means there would have been LOTS of messages awaiting His approval.

Some blogs have not been updated for more than 2yrs, it may be as a result of illness or worse, BUT they are still there unless someone else 'figures' the password and informs us; its much worse if the blogger went private' then How wld ANYONE know?????

When a blogger dies, in ~~rare~~ cases the family may know his/her blog's url and password, and decide to delete it or even leave it as a kind of remembrance But if they don’t know the url/password, the blog remains as it is; to be read by anyone until BLOGGER deletes it (which i dont tink is possible)

A 'Bloggers Register' wld have lots of advantages cos it wld help us keep tabs on ourselves, some might find it 'intrusive' and 'unnecessary' but who knows *sigh* Naijalines commented in my previous post dat If she expires, Ore (her son) is most likely to inform us; in as much as i wld dread reading dat or any post of that kind, its a FACT dat we can't blog forever..

*clears throat* Now to the main koko, below is a poll about the register; pls shine ya eyes n click on the appropriate button n lets take it 4rm there. Thanks but remember 'One man -'One vote

BEFORE I 4GET: this is just a suggestion o, no book says i have to 'Organise and maintain the 'register', i think we'll hv to do another poll to nominate some 'tested /trusted' bloggers dat will pull it off, i on the oda hand will provide free entertainment; those in support say Aye!!:)

Njoy ur weekend!

...........A BLOGGER'S REGISTER?????

2010-10-25T14:40:00.003+01:00

FOR LIFE??

I went on my blog rounds dis morn n read abt d death of one of our own its sad indeed. in my previous post i talked about the absence of some bloggers from blogville; i recall mentioning 50 of them but till date only four (4) i.e ibiluv, afrobabe, temytayo and naughtyeyez hv responded, wat happened to the rest??? I also never knew ozaveshe until today tho i might hv stumbled on his blog in the past but i dont remember commenting on any of his posts (wish i had, cos he sounded like a nice and FUNNY person) *sigh* May God grant his family the fortitude to bear the loss (ami

So i'm repeating the question, How can one kno all is well with a fellow blogger??. i know some of us have left 'blogger' for TWITTER (#youknoyasefs) while others might not hv anything to blog about (Afrobabe now refers to hersef as a Retired Blogger) na who do u sendoff??? *msheww* :)

Now theres d issue of anonymity, like i said ~~some~~ many of us cherish our cloak of mystery; i personally hv only spoken to one blogger since i started blogging n her name is #Standtall, so she can vouch dat i'm real (as in i exist) n dat i'm a woman (from my voice) i tink she also knos my real name (standy no talk o :) tho we hvnt spoken in a longgggg time (when she start her waka-waka no pay travel) even dangote asks about her and fba from the stories i used to tell him abt our blogville. i've never seen her but insha allah we go jam face to face on her or my child's iko-omo (naming ceremony) if she n hubby no se'kia (hurry up)

There are still lots of bloggers out there i wld lv to talk to (or 'flash' and be 'flashed' in return) so wat do guys tink abt a Register????? sounds very primary school'ish abi? LOL i kno but how else can one kno. What do u think??????.

ps1: FBA' where r u??? :(((
ps2: wat happened to 9ja bloggers- reunion? tot it was supposed to be like annually... not dat i wld show up tho *wide grin*
ps3: somehow' somehow i dont feel like losing my anonymity too; o well :)

For Ms. O

2010-10-21T11:00:00.033+01:00

there are some ~~slight~~ changes from the one aired here in 9ja...

1. the boy, his mum and mama r not the same

2. mama didnt say 'thank you my baby' *mscheew*

3. BUT the 'fowl's definitely the same :)

ps: 'Unilever' ought to pay me for free advert o :)
pss: i still doubt 'omo' can remove All dat portor-portor stains sha'

maa no`e da`da

2010-10-15T10:15:00.006+01:00

Translated: i will beat u very well......... :)

dats always the tot in my head weneva i watch dat 'omo' detergent advert, u kno' the one dat 'little jonny' goes round d neighbourhood chasing one old-mama's fowl; remember how he runs after the agric, summersaults, n rolls in the mud all in d name of helping mama catch her runaway chicken; u also remember how he returns home, grinning 4rm ear to ear, showing off his portor-portor stained school uniform to his mum, n she smiles, giving him d go ahead 2 chase d fowl, saying afterall 'omo' dey! *INSERT LONG HISS HERE* if na me?? i say if na me be ur mama, u go hear nwii; who send u???? alakoba, so mama go come dey borrow 'soap' everytime to wash her pot, plates, clothes abi??? LOL i tell u guys, dat advert rily cracks me up and no be say mama even dash am sumthing sef *mischievious grin*

so how una dey jare? thank goodness its friday, make person rest small. how ur area? my neighbour said he's packing out; Q: will i miss him A: NO' bcos he is a bully, he bullies his kids, car, gate, infact he bullies everybody n everything. d day wen him try am with me, na so i OPEN eyes for am, him no dey look face *hiss* some neigbours sef; pay Nepa bill, na waec!, throway dirty nko? na quarrel! d odd thing is dat his wife and kids are calm and easy going. yesterday i asked his youngest child, 'Omoh, who do u look like....in ur house?', and d yeye boy replied........ his DaD; i jst vex carry my bucket waka comot. how i for do?? convince him' he looks like his Mum???? LOL.

But wetin dey shele for here sef, went on my blog-rounds n everywhere jst dry,
many bloggers done disappear, my dia FBA, Afrolicious, Prisco, Ejura,
Duchess, Mz dee, Thots of a naija woman, Naughty-eyez, Woomie,
Archiwiz, Smaragd, Allied, Sabira, Doja, Sasuke, Lisa, Shubby, Naija idol,
Oluwadee, Wellsbaba, Copido, Yewande-atanda, Ibo dude, Nikki sab,
Jinta, Chioma-mom, Aphrodite, Shalewa, Ababoy 2, Yar mama, FFF, Standy
Writefreak, MDM,Tobenna, Enkay, Posh buki, For the love of me, Joicee,
Blazing daola, Bwari-boy, Ice queen, Olufunke, Uzezi, Naija-chikito, Temite,
In my head n around, Emeka amakeze, Anonymous gal, Temmy tayo, Aloofa,
Fresh &fab, Tresor, Barbecuerepubliik, Sprezatura, Ibiluv, Porter-deharcourt,
Chi-grace, Bunmy, Naija babe, Enigma, lady A, Badderchic, Onome, Geisha
Padosh, Invinsible man, Down-the-aisle, Rethots, Darkelcee, Aloted, Loila,
Simple gal, Sherri, Mommy, Spicy tee, Lil angel for christ, Latifa, Ynot,
Kemi penelope, Lighty nerferet', kemmie, Simi-speaks, Bimby, Kayshawn,
Favored gal,Tin-tin (guy&babe), Aijay, shona, Minky, A black james-bond,
XSN,Toluwa, in-my-own-words, Ms.emmotion, Sha, Parakeet,Today's rant,
Mojisola, Caelestis angelus, Kamkambaby and others.
HABA! una names sef don reach to compose 3 lonnngg posts :) Abeg hola back so i ll kno you are Alive n kicking o, thanx.

ps: did u see dat guy on tv confronting our super eagles at the airport??? No? ok make i gist una. So our team after being beaten 1-0 by guinea, thought they can sneak into the country without us knowing but dis young man (deaf) had been waiting for dem at d airport (i heard he even slept there :( so as not to miss their arrival; as soon as they arrived na so the guy begin haala (in dis case, wildly gesticulating) say wetin dey do dem, wetin dem dey play, wetin do dia leg, LOL it wasnt funny sha, ofcourse they couldnt say anything, na so crowd gather But how can kinkili Guinea beat Nigeria??? i even saw one guy jubilating dat they beat Almighty Nigeria (his own words) *shamed face* now i feel like calling dem super-chickens but i wont, heard they said it was 'heat' dat caused 'our' loss sha *smh*

njoy ur weekend o jare!

ps2: siriusly, how can one kno all is well with a fellow blogger, i kno some of us cherish our 'anonymity' (u kno, stroll in and out of mama-put without anyone knowing) but we are fam; i often tink about some of us dat haven't updated in yrs n i wonder. wish i had ur 'numbers' so i can 'flash' you evey month end :)
PLS UPDATE SUMTHING.......ANYTHING!

so its true......

2010-10-05T10:19:00.022+01:00

about the Director General of General Ibrahim Babangida Campaign Organisation (Raymond Dokpesi's arrest by the State Security Services, SSS and the abuja bomb blast tales; i just read the papers and dem-say dem-say they found a complicated 'sms' in one of the apprehended suspect's 4one; according to dem, He was fingered over an sms sent to the smart phone of one of the suspects already in police net, asking if Dokpesi has paid the balance, and another sms inviting another suspect to a meeting at Babaginda campaign office; i dont kno wat to say at dis point but wat do u guys think abt it.

neways i heard He has being released; there's sumn strange about d sms tho, its sounds very incriminating but mumuish, i dont kno sha o; a lot has bn said, is being said n ll be said But dis time i hope/ pray the culprits or Demons according to GEJ will be xposed n brought to book (ami).

still praying for nigeria, dont kno wat 2011 holds for all of us; currently watching 'focus nigeria' with gbenga n he is interviewing some ex militants (they refer to dem selves as Generals) n they r saying dat its not Mend, dat Mend have dia-armed' claiming the whole thing has a political undertone but God knows n sees All. it is well

Ehen' so bags of rice and wrapper was shared in abuja last wk and yours truly was not given, I DEY VEX!! but i hear say e no easy na understatement, sum pple carry 2, some 5, some ~~very strong~~ boiz even caryy reach 10 bags ' come dey re-sell am at cheapay amount *hiss* i kukuma no go, but our cleaner dat went came back with lots of bruises and no rice *sigh* omotee how far, were u there???? *dodges blow* :)

ps: My condolence to the families and other victims of the bomb blast

ps2: How come we still dont kno d names of the casualties?????????

ps3: police emergency phone lines 07057337653, 07029311660, 08032003913 and 08061581938
ps4: AJIKE welcome back dearie but how come i cant comment on any of ur post? *vexing* lol

PRESIDENTIAL HANDSHAKE!

2010-09-20T11:00:00.013+01:00

Dats wat my customer traveled to ‘eagle square’ to get on Saturday sept 18 2010. He locked his shop, gave his boys (apprentice) d day off, packed his fam in his golf n off they went to support jonathan/sambo. Met him by 7.30 pm (I rily needed to get dat wheel spanner) and jokingly asked him, ~~how much~~ Wat they gave him, he replied…….. Presidential handshake; yesso he shook hands with Mr President; I don’t kno if its true sha' cos I didn’t see him anywhere near Gudluck b4 NEPA took light, Did u see him?????? *grins*

I saw dbanj tho (was he paid?? e'lo?????? :p) heard Ali baba’s voice, saw many ~~razz~~ governors (xcept gov. saraki) jumping on stage, pledging/swearing dia support for jonathan; also saw the Bruce brothers, Onyeka and somebody call my name…… showkey, didn’t see any nollywood actor sha. Was oshiomole there????? (don’t tink so too, but I bet he was watching on tv, lol)

Wondered wat IBB was doing dat day, Atiku nko??? Has he been cleared to contest??? Someone told me dat, Saraki, Dele-momodu n even our Ribadu had announced dia intentions to contest the presidential election. Read dat former aspirants like chris okotie and pat utomi are re-contesting n also ‘Sarah jubril’, She is the 1st and only woman to aim for the presidency, Dis will be her 2 0r 3^rd attempt sha; WOMEN she nids our support o, lol

Newayz the die is cast in PDP, cos its obviously Jonathan or IBB, so who ll it be??????? Oct 23rd will tell but b4 then**coughs** ***coughs****

So, i was watching IBB's declaration on AIT, n saw one chick like dat with him, She was even standing on his right during his speech (who she be????) lady or daughter???? (i just dey ask o :)

My joy is dat, there wasnt any casualty in the 2 rallies, and i pray/hope there wont be any in all the 67 presidential declaration rallies IJN (yesso 67 registered political parties ...no be small sumthing)

ps: voters registration Nov 1st - 14th...... e go work???

mber months, sim-card registration n oda stories

2010-09-07T12:20:00.016+01:00

like play' like joke, 2010 is ~~gradually~~ coming to an end, 3 more months before 2011; eyin temi, how una dey? its bn raining since last wk, cant wait for the sallah break o jare, enuf sleep and MEAT (ibiluv, mizcynic, n odas make una no dissappoint o, my e-mail hasnt changed, lol)

The mber-months are finally here n na so eyes just dey chook; pls be xtra careful and security conscious; scammers, gbomo-gbomo(s) and one-chance are seriously on d prowl with new tactics, a colleague almost fell for dem, abeg make una shine una eyes o. May God protect us.

Talking of scammers, how una see dis sim card -registration thing, is it Wise?? i mean' giving out all dos information about ursef to sumone you dont kno, i hv like 5 different lines (2 phones tho) n i'm xpected to register all of dem?? with all my contact information (n even pose for a snap shot) i still dont kno where it ll end up and who it ll end up with, even the guys doing the reg, who sabi where n how dem pick dem as in who r they working for and how genuine r they *sigh* i'm yet to register any of my lines sha, they say its for my own gud o but? (dont kno if it has a deadline sha, Have you registered urs??)

just heard about the black berry ban in saudi, dont kno if it true, abi na dem say- dem say?? wats d gist?? i kno d internet is d best thing after ewa agoyin n agege bread but d disadvantages ti poju, blue everywhere n now wey some parent dey buy phone for dia children anyhow, my friend's nephew is 7yrs old, he is in primary 4 or 5, n he has a phone, he is intelligent tho (4 english o ;p) but i wonder if his folks r not xposing him; mgbo Mummy tk, Nitty gritty, Dee ova to una ..

Ehen, how far with dos women n dia sex strike sef??? pesin no hear anything from dem again; dia deadline don pass na, n jona neva still declare, shebi i tell una say na stunt, lol.

its a joke' right?

2010-08-26T10:00:00.000+01:00

NEPA on strike??????????
:-@

NO JONATHAN, DONT CONTEST!

2010-08-12T13:15:00.009+01:00

HaBa!! d wahala don 2 much jare, everywhere na so so poster, 'support jonathan gudluck', 'gudluck 2011', 'jonathan support group', 'jonathan support rally' and so on and so on, OGINNI??? if jona finally declare, contest n no win nko?? wetin go happen? i say wetin go happen?? ECLIPSE???? d oda day it was 'Nig artistes for gudluck jonathan' asking him to contest say dem dey him back (i still remember sum of dem saying same to soludo), now its the Nig chapter of the africa women in diaspora (OAWDN) threatening to go on sex strike if He doesn't declare his ambition to run for d 2011 presidential election by august 27, 2010' see me see gbege o, wetin consign jona and una kini?? eniway i no believe dem sha, na STUNT! lol

BUT seriously, kini big deal about jonathan contesting; 2mrw marks his 100 days in office n according to my scorecard *shake head* e get as e be, although 100 days is not enuf to perform the miracle(s) our country obviously needs, but the pressure for him to contest is sumn else (me sef don begin dey fear small) from the political killings to death threats, N87.7 billion for voters register to constitution amendment/re amendment, zoning to fake ~~obituary~~ death announcements abt OBJ to IBB recontesting, abi how una see am?

My message to Gudluck Ebere Azikiwe Jonathan is 'SHINE YA EYEZZZZZZZZZ!!'
it is well with Nigeria.

Me i love my country,
i love am pass egusi ,
everything e dey for nigeria,
make we join hands to make nigeria better.

NO TITLE YET

2010-07-21T11:00:00.005+01:00

Hello? gudmornin' hELLO?? gudmornin, how r u all doing? fine?? gud:) now for dAt gist i promised but first i want to thank you for ALL ur prayers on my previous post; i rily appreciate it' insha allah i'll share my next bday cake/pix with u:D

So i left lagos like many months ago, got promotd n transfered to ..... (lets just say i'm now close to the national treasury:) i was sad tho' leaving where i ve spent most of my life (eko 4 sure)' i miss my family, friends, colleagues, the hustles and ofcourse gra-gra of lagos:) It wasnt eazy sha, still trying to adjust but i thank God.

Finally got an a-part-ment after months of calling agent okon, ifeanyi and mallam musa' (dat one na story for anoda post) but i miss lag sha; i miss my peeps, neighbours, BRT, urm.... customers; PS wat do u call pple u buy stuffz from? cos they always refer to u as 'my customer:) its going to be hardwork getting 'new' customers dat wont smile n rip u at d same time, lol. i miss d agberos in dia uniforms n colored canvass (WHERE IS FBA??? :(

Wat else???.... i'm gud tho, loving it' the city's calm, lil traffic to and from the office, nid a gud hairdresser, hooking up wit a blogger next.
Jst saw d pix of the 9gerian couple dat gave birth to a white 'blonde' baby girl, do u believe its a Miracle???? cos i smell a oke :D

OUT OF THE CLOSET!

2010-07-14T13:30:00.014+01:00

lol, abego!
Hi guyz, i kno! i kno, its been ages but i guess its too late to apologise :p Howz everyone??? una miss me??? *grins* I'm doing well' jst had so much happening (gud stuff tho), will share u with u (aprokos) later, newayz today happens to be my birthday and i decided to spoil mysef by updating my blog (i no try??) but i ll um try to urmm update regularly:) meanwhile i am still thanking God for His grace, mercies and blessings, pls join me in prayers.

No cake yet' so i will upload standtall's, its looks delicious, lol
thanx hon, i wish u n hubby all d bera things in life;
2 all my 'july mates, norrin do una,
i ll be back!

Happy! Happy!! Happy!!!!

2010-01-01T02:00:00.009+01:00

It is well with Nigeria!

It is well with Us!

and seyi tested positive'

2009-09-07T10:25:00.030+01:00

Yes its the same seyi' from my hairdresser (1) and (2) but i dey vex for una, shebi una say make i no counsel her, sum bloggers even labelled me aproko, sake of say i wan yarn dis babe say kurukere doesnt pay, now see!

yesterday afternoon i decided to make my hair @seyi's, hoping i wld be able to finish it b4 the nigeria/tunisia qualifier's match but wen i got to there... no seyi (so dis girl neva change) i met 2 of her girls (apprentice) who told me she had gone out but wldnt be long (storyyy) i decided to wait for her, knowing she was the only one dat can fix d style i wanted, after some mins the girls continued their gbeboru-ing (sorry isha) until i heard 'sade, dis madam know say anty-seyi don test positive???'
OGINI???
'i no sure o, u kno say e don tey wey she come here'
eYIN TEMi i forget weda oSAze go play 1st half o, seyi test positive ke? since wen?? d last time i saw her, she was hersef na? i asked d girls wat they meant but they kept quiet, na so i pack my kaya waka comot.

comot for where?? if na u nko?????
seyi have been fixing my hair for a longgg time o,
yea! dat day i was scratchin my head' was it d needle or dandruff? or ....
na so i begin think left and down, my head was £"^%*^%$£,

if na u nko???? if only dis girl had listened, if only not positive???

if onlyyyy, 'ehen madam, see her' she don return', sade's voice jolted me

i turned and my jaw fell in my lap

ps: her EDD is early next yr
pss: should amodu be replaced????
psss: d pix is courtesy 'seyi beauty salon', i can't shout!
psssss: i feel its goin to be a lov'ly week!! dont cha?

TGIF: biko' biko make una come o'

2009-08-14T18:00:00.004+01:00

so guys wat do u think...... Fact??? or Photoshop?????????

BTW: whose bday is today sef??? i 'm feelin very generous o ;)

Standtall is 13 and LG is ......?????

2009-07-14T11:25:00.005+01:00

If u were born in July, Stand Up, Stand Up!!
All bloggers born in July, Stand Up, Stand Up!!!!!
If u were born on July 14th, Jump Up, Jump Up!!!!!!!!!!!!
#@$!^&# May God bless us

YES its my birthday today, meaning anoda year has being added to my age, (no be small sumn :) I know its been a while (or months) since my last post, abeg make una no vex' na $$$$$$ (i mean work), and to compensate una, i made a birthday cake; if u shine ya eyes well, u will find it at the top bottom corner left right centre of your screen (jst Look for it) – and Help yourself to a large slice, norrin do u!

I want to Thank God for making me witness anoda year, for His blessings, guidance, kindness n protection, for my family n friends (bloggers included). Thank You Father for everything (tho i'm not yet a 1st lady but i kno You have not forgotten :)

PS: To all ma July peeps in da house: Uzezi, Jidesalu, Standtall, Dta, Undercover 07, Woomie, Trezor Le Kado, Chari, Fantasy queen

Cheers

PSS: ..... erm no be red wine o, na zobo

Lets talk about sex

2009-06-08T12:40:00.017+01:00

i.e about our kids having sex, (sigh) my people, it is wit a heavy heart i type this post; My friends ll tell u i'm crazy abt children n its d truth' tho i dont have any (yet), i love cute, intelligent, smart, stubborn, infact all kids (including d 'mommy i want aunt Lg's face ones :-) but i m no longer sure who is a child n who isnt; yesterday i went to visit a sick colleague n bumped into her neighbour's 4yr old kids doing it; as if dat wasnt bad enuf, there are brothers infact twins; how manage?? who tot dem?? moreover these were children 4rm a good moslem home, so how come they knew abt it?....cartoons? music? neways i left their mom weeping and thinking of how to tell her husband.

Last term, my ikotun friend (i talked abt her here) almost went mad, d reason....alan got back 4rm school n asked her if her kini was red? dat a boy in his class claims his mum's own was very red; Oginni?!? raked my friend, 'Where d teacher dey wen dem dey discuss dat kind thing 4 class??? wasnt She supposed to be their guardian/shielder??. After confronting the teacher (n d proprietress) she withdrew her kids 4rm d school. wen she narated d incident to me, i asked her wat was her reply to alan :-) But seriously, wat is happening to our children? scratch dat, What are we doing to Our children???

I still recollect my elder broda chasing me n my sister out of room weneva we r watching tv and a man is kissing a woman (infact as soon as d man n woman begin look each oda one kind, my broda go Order us outside, sometimes i run to my neighbour's room to watch it, or i 4get about the film n start to play with my lil' sis; i cant remember how old i was then, but i knew i resented him for it (b4 nko? :-) till date, my dad's favourite programmes on tv are NTA network news and Tales by moonlight n we dare laff even wen they went on commercial (i still miss dat presenter) But today nko, which pikin get News time?? they prefer yori-yori:-)

Babijide salu, Mrs Salu, Mummy TK, Naijalines, Doja, Simispeak, Black james bond, Bimbylads, Lolu-Kush, Fluffycutething, Mojisola, Standtall, Mommy, Dee, Chioma-mom, Oyin, Isi, GOODnaijagirl, Kemmie, For the love of me, Yarmama, 30+, Lady A, Teachers, Parents, Pastors/Imam, FBA, NBC, BON, DBANJ (they adore u) Is there hope for Our Children??? How? Where? When?

ps: (for tots) How wld a 7/8/9/10yr old rate my blog? (ie apart 4rm gushing over my profile pix and my grammar :-) What about yours? How would a child Rate your blog?????

ONLY IN BLOGVILLE (OIB)

2009-06-04T11:15:00.006+01:00

Hi there, remember me??? Ofcourse u do :-) how una dey?? i'm still enjoying my leave but felt like publishing (some of) my drafts b4 someone hack into it; u tink its not possible??? okay o' lol; neways dis post was supposed to be published after my blog anniversary but chelsea's no 1 striker *Bayo disappearance from the team made me reschedule it; no be small thing o, even abramovich was involved in d search :-) *the yeye boy has returned home jare (he resurfaced d day man-u managed to beat arsenal :-) Thanks guys for your concern, d problem now is how 2 remove my number 4rm mummy's phone (the world cup is around d corner, i cant shout!!

500 amazing/ funny / weird things i ve learnt 4rm blogville
1) language is not a barrier
2) some stalk to be 1st, while odas bad-belle u for being 1stttttt :-)
3) age is nothing; one smallie go read ur post and leave comment like; babe u be mumu o, u no kno say bla bla blah :-)
4) age is nothing; we are never too old to learn new/old stuff;
5) cliques/bigzboys & gals networks also exist in 9jablogville;

6) humour is very effective but not everyone will lol/lmao/rotfol

7) a simple thought can be around the world in seconds

8) blogging under ur real name can sometimes have dire consequences
9) comment moderation is the bestest thing after guguru n epa;

10) the impact a blog can have in the world is more than most bloggers realize.

11) some bloggers take things 2 personal e.g nobemenuna

12) one blogger go get like 7 blogs, 3 of dem get branches = 13 blogs:-)

13) a problem shared is not always solved (True orFalse

Erm....i kno i said 500 things (na beans???) but blame it on ma keyboarddddd:-) now ur turn' wat have blogville tot u???

CODE BLUE!!! MISSING PERSON ALERT

2009-05-07T13:40:00.011+01:00

*clears throat* I had to interrupt my blog-annual-leave to post this annoucement, plz treat as urgent.

A young man has been reported missing by his *mum.

His name is *Bayo Mattew Adeolowo

He is in his late teens and hails from Ogun state

He is 5ft 7 and dark in complexion

He was last seen at a Guiness viewing centre,

wearing a *Chelsea No.14 jersey

along *itire road, surulere lagos.

Pls if sighted, call contact the nearest police officer/OPC

or elgeeeee via *ladyguide.blogspot.com

Thank you.

GUNNER4LIFE

(To bayo) O'boy you berra dey haus b4 i come back 4rm wrk' dis evening, abi you wan give your mama hypertension????? ahnn ahh' *She don call me reach 20 times since morning (ie plus *flash) even sef' which kind biz you and *chelski get????? abi you know drogba 4rm him village??? eh! i say answer mi????? chelsea don lose n there is nothing you, hiddink, lampard, anieka, wellsbaba or toks can do to change it' Kapishh!?!? :-)

PS: make sure say u see me dis evening...........a word is enuf

Eyin temi atata, how una dey? my blog-leave ends (whenever i decide)

i will be back to regular blogging soonest' :-)

PSS: I' ll try to upload bayo's pix later, pls suggest the kind of punishment dat befits him for..........oooooh his mum is calling me again, Kia!! 2day na 2day *sigh*

HURRAYYY 'LADYGUIDE' IS 70

2009-03-28T16:10:00.056+01:00

oops!!! i meantttt 1 'tho it feels like 70 sumtimes :-)

Yessoooooo 2day is my blog-anniversary. Three hundred n sixty five days ago i became a blogger' just for the fun of it, n wat a year of fun it has been; a year of growth, learning, self-discovery and making new friends/families and communities; becoming a 9jablogger/blog reader/blog stalker also opened my eyes to many things that were happening in the world that I wasn’t aware of; it also made it easier (almost free) for me to travel to america/asia/europe n oda countries without getting/paying for a visa and even live there (4 my mind) without fear of deportation :-) In all' it has been a year of FUN 'tho weird; at times i find ma self talking 2 ma sef, cracking ma brain for sumn to write about or laughing aloud when i recollect sumn i read on blogville, i cant count the number of times i ve dreamt of some bloggers; last wk i dreamt of seeing fba at oshodi, he was selling o'dee's chips tho' he had omoibadan's voice, xsn's shape and TE's hair' lolllll no ask me how manage o :-)

I want to thank everyone dat have commented on dis blog (even the waka pass-ers) thank you for accepting me even tho u cant see, hear or perceive me :-) I' ve met many wonderful pple thru dis medium '4get say some of dem get scoin-scoin; i raise nyansh for ALL of una (afro not dat kind yansh o; cos e no easy to maintain blog (even wen bad belle pple dey put sand for our garri wit dia yamayama comments, we still stand *Gidigba! No saking!!! :-)

I planned celebrating dis anniversary with everyone' especially after being awarded the Blogger I would most like to meet in the just concluded naija bloggers awards but sumn happened to the cake i bought for d occasion; nope it didnt get burnt' neither was it stolen, rather it was crushed by a container abi na q-cabin *sigh* eyin temi' no be small thing o' dos of u dat work in vee-eye can testify to it (wetin una tink say cause allll dat hold-up yestaday morning) so i kukuma leave am for dia; (u for pack am?? even if i pack am, u go gree chop am??:-) BUT norrrin do me, norrrin do u ' we must still celebrate!!!!, daddy-showkey if u don ready, lets go......

sumbodi call ma name...lg,

pple dem calling ma name.... lg

lg-baby u don come back again o

mama dem' dem r calling ma name

even little shildren' dem r calling ma name

lg come, lg come, lg come, lg come

lg-baby u don come back again (chorus till fade :-)

THANK YOU BLOGVILLE, LETS DO THIS AGAIN NEXT YEAR (isha allah)

PS: a special shout out to these wonderful bloggers (hope u r reading), Super girl, Ajike, Ejura, 9jalines, Thots of a naija woman, Duchess, Aba boy, Aloofaa, Rethots, 007, FFF, Chi-grace, Mz dee, Shalewa, Sabira, Nikkysab, 9jachikito, Freshnfab, The last king of scotland, Tairebabs, Onome, Minky, Sasuke, 9ja fine girl, 9ja idol, Bold faze, Kemmie, Allied, Lightly, Bunnmy, Sherri, Enigma, Ms emmotion, Dee, Woomie, Lady A, Nogo, Yar'mama, Ynot, Debbie, James tubman, Pink gloves, Pink satin, Twix, Blazingfano, Someone else's life, Copido, Anonymous gal, Geisha, Uchevelli, Stella dimoko, Ice queen, Jinta, Remi united kingdom, Gllady, Darker-berry, Sandrine-enigma, Darkelcee, For the luv of me, Omohemi-benson, L'amour, Write-uche, Akannimo, Classybabe, Tininu(guy), Tininu(babe), Kayshawn, Qmoney, Simply-Lisa, Musco, Posh-buki, Manda, Archiwiz, Ibo-dude, DB, Dbalone, Alibaba, Porter d hacourt, Red sapphire n many others' numerous to mention, WETIN do una?!?!?.

PSS: most of the bloggers i mentioned have not updated in ages, some have gone private/ missing in action while others have disappeared 4rm blogville without permission (at least' i kno i didnt permit anyone) so the shout-out is a WAKE UP CALL :-)

only in 9ja....

2009-03-18T12:35:00.056+01:00

original mgbeks formulated it, afro merixed it, dis is my version;

Funny, weird yet amazing things dat can only be associated with 9geria/9gerians :-

* Everyone is a copy-cat e.g this post :-)

* LASTMA is more dreaded than the 9gerian police

* Our lawmakers are the 1st law breakers; need examples??? :-)

* Man-no-die' man-no-rotten mentality (go look for interpreter :-)

* Politics is a do or die affair (ts self xplanatory)

* Every flying cockroach /wall gecko is a monitoring spirit

* 5 out of every 15 civillian have been harrased by a conductor/police

* If u are xceptionally beautiful, u are a mammywater or ogbanje

* 9gerians no dey fear face; last wk president yardy's convoy was attacked in jos (a whole presido)

* Everything is jazz related; (u get wrk na jazz, u marry na jazz, u get money na jazz, u no get money na ..... : -)

* There is a generator, recharge card seller, mallam on every street

* Almost everyone have climbed okada n drank pure water (i said' almost o :-)

* Single mothers r bad market; single fathers r xempted (very pathetic)

* Almost all 9ja songs has a razz word eg faayaa, koko, kentro, kolo, maga, shayo, ja'wonsi, 4kasibe (my fav)

* African-time' has gotten a new meaning; i went for a function dat was supposed to start by 9am, 6hrs later......nathing

* Some car owners want to be regarded as a bigz boy/girl; i kno a broda dat stay in a one room 'face- me- i- slap-you', shares d toilet with 15 oda tenants, queues 2 fetch water 4rm d well but maintains a tear-rubber honda baby-boy (i suspect say him own' na jazz :p

* What goes up, neva comes down; b4 b4 sweets were being sold for 1 naira (now 2 for 5naira) coke was 25naira (now 60-100naira) a gallon of kerosene was formerly 60naira (now 480/600 naira), Ajegunle to CMS formerly 30naira; now 100naira

* Flashing' is on a kentro level; somebody wld flash you' say like.....10times, only for u to cal n they ll say, 'i just say make i greet u' or a strange voice ll ask, 'ta'lon soro???? :-)

These r all i cld come up wit for now, wat r urs???????

PS: Congrats to Arsenal football club una try sha, but if una fit beat chelsea(again), i promise all of una one house each 4 lekki :-)

norrin do una!!

TGIF: did u see my phone???

2009-03-13T11:06:00.016+01:00

James (my colleague) got to the office this morning in his jeans and prada top, 30mins later he realized he couldnt find his phone; he came to my office n the following conversation ensued;
James: o baby, nawa o' i no see my 4one again
Lg: how manage?? u sure say u no leave am 4 haus?????
James: No, i even use am receive call for cms b4 i enta bus
Lg: Cee gini???
James: cms naa!
Lg: *grinning* aaaaaah no wonda, i see ur 4one jare
James: *amazed* you sure?? for where?????
Lg: for cms naa
James: *smiling* thank very much, where 4 cms???
Lg: you kno dat place where dem dey enter 'ajah bus, e get one lonnnnnnnnng pole wey dey dia, na on top d pole i see ur 4one
James: *doubtful* El'gee u sure?????
Lg: ofcof!! infact d 4one just dey dia dey cry' 'james o jamess oo but i nor kno say na ur 'james' be dat; pele o.

*shior* yeye dey smell, who nor sabi say dem no dey bring out 4one for cms? (esp when u wan drag enter public transport) boyoyo no soji at all Haba!!! *shakes head* d phone don enta voice-mail, but if him dey lucky, dem fit re-sell am 4 am for under bridge for 5k (d 40ne is worth 30bay). He was my 2nd colleague dat had his phone stolen at cms, the other guy got to the office with a new green ear piece (e resemble xmas lite) minus d blackberry he bought 2wks ago (dat one' pesin go begin dey speak patua:-)

I remember the first time my 4one was stolen/borrowed, it was 'may 29 2007 during the inauguration of d present lagos state governor (BRF) at tafawa balewa square, i was on my way to ikoyi with a male friend to drop my cv wit one of his other male friend; since the day (aka black tuesday) had being declared a public holiday, we decided to go thru cms (thinking d road wld be free of traffic; By the time we got to race course the ceremony had already ended and many AC supporters (garbed in the inaugural ankara) were trooping out, we were stil discussing the loss of DPA's jimi agbaje when they started robbing vehicles on the road, when it got to our turn, the boy just carry my bag begin dey go...... WETIN??????? na so i begin shout, 'my cv, my cv! he took my ceevee!! ' My fear fear friend held my hand and told me not to worry, FOR WHERE???? na so i begin the open door, nee jst grabbed me, begin beg me say 'lg abeg o, abi u wan die??? dat boy don smoke igbo' him even carry gun' EHEN??? 'make him collect d money, drop my bag na', my cries fell on deaf ears as he held on to me tight till they all left (others brandishing knives n all even came to re-check if they had 4gotten to take sumn'till date i still cringe wherever i m in dat vicinity.
PS: The next day 'nee replaced everything including MY CV:-)
PSS: Bros Fash, if you are reading dis, u still owe me a brand new NOKIA ----- (make i no lie' na nokia 2650 :-)

The 2nd time was also in a car, i was with dangote' at harbour works bustop along ikorodu road; there was traffic (as usual) the next thing we heard a loud noise close to d car, looked out n saw a young man pointing to the tyres, thinking the tyres had burst' dangote wind down And we saw ourselves looking at a black/brown/red/blue thing (maybe na biro/spanner/plier but we no need confirmation, we just surrender our 4ones (d only thing he asked for) if una see as dangote dey shiver????? u rememba dat 'shan george/orange drug advert' dat shaky shaky daddy one, yelz' na so :-)
PS: This one happened few days after 'nee replaced the first 4one

The 3rd time was at *drum roll* OSHODI, lets just say i walked into a ram-fight and the rest like they say in oyinbo film is history :-) but eyin temi after dos hypertension-threatening incidents (and seriessssss of prayas and fastn) i don dey shine my eyez like scofield' (esp when i dey dos area wey omo boiz dey run things) i carry my 4one in a pouch, infact let me give u a HINT on how to recognize me (woomie hope u r reading); look out for a fine yellow chic sporting a 'gallas and ALWAYS wearing a black pouch on her wrist at #%#% every morning by 9.00 am or 5 ' o clock in the evening.
PS: If una go harass innocent pesin wey tanda him own for bustop.........'you are on ur own o :-)

**NAIJA BLOGGERS AWARD UPDATE**
If YOU have already voted but DIDNT vote for LADYGUIDE, u berra go to a cafe NOW n correct ur MISTAKE; forget fba's threats, na today?????? e don tey wey nyansh get centre-parting jare, NORRIN DEY HAPPEN !!!!

Have a fabulous w'end

LADYGUIDE' LIVE N NAKED

2009-03-09T12:00:00.019+01:00

*Do not adjust ur browser

Hehehehehehehehehe see as dem dey run come' even lenie, molly and garfield; KAI!!!! afrobabe c'mon stop pushing qmoney and simplegal' they were on the line before you, abi na everyday u go dey carry 1sttttttt??? :-) mizcynic, ibiluv eku id malud*

*clears throat* Yesooooooo i want to use this opportunity to thank everyone that nominated me as the Bloggers Choice and the Most Likable Blogger in the **NAIJA BLOGGERS AWARDS;

I must confess, when i first read about the awards i was like 'dem don carry come' tho i frequently checked the site for updates and comments' i never nominated anybody not even myself (no lie) neither did i ask anyone to nominate me, so u can imagine my shock/surprise when i checked on saturday and saw my blogname among the nominees, in my head (itsalie!!!) i had to refresh to confirm it was really 'Ladyguide i was seeing and not 'Ladipo. Thank you for believing in me, i feel soooo humbled, honoured, h%!!#&&&%!!# infact i dey fel like obasanjo o o) ese'gan

I also want to commend the organisers' sting, toluwa, geisha, funms and co for a job well done ( i know say e no easy) although i xpected to see the names of some notable naija bloggers like and ....... BUT, who am i to grumble' AFTERALL i didnt nominate anybody (thank God for category B)

Once again, i say a big THANK YOU for the nomination; for those that didnt nominate me......(u still dey read??) Abegggggggggggggi go vote for LADYGUIDE inshort any place u see LA. . . .*(sorry LInda) just click on dat small round button near it. *God bless u as u vote.

Norrin do una'

PS: fba abeg come help me begin share the zobo*

G for gun

2009-02-25T09:10:00.021+01:00

"Aunty e'gee i ll tut you o' were the words 3yr old Ola hurled at me as soon as i entered their house, 'backtosender' i replied (in my head); instead of g'morning ma or mummy afternoon, na shoot him wan shoot, i confronted his mom' only for her to say, "Fear ' Fear na water gun o" Ehennn even ifffffff na 'akamu gun or kuli kuli gun' same no'ni..... abi how una c am?? isnt it too early for a 3yr old boy to know abt guns????? mummy tk /jidesalu/ 9jalines/007 i nid ur input(s) or when is the right time to introduce our kids to guns, as in 'ifeanyi meet gun, gun meet ifeanyi', some parents even buy it for their daughters (e be like say doll-baby don finish for market?)

The rate at which we xpose our children to violence is alarming, the oda day our bus was passing thru vee'eye, we passed a school and the first thing i saw was G for gun (with a pix) painted on the school wall' Wat happened to G for goat, G for gala, or even G for elGee; 'WHY g for gun, i complained to dangote n he said maybe its bcos its a naval/airforce school, FOR KIDS? i retorted' na so him jst face front :) Wat abt dos pictures of our 9ja delta boiz dressed in fatigues splashed in the media daily, wat abt dos cartoons, dos movies, dos music videos, dos adverts......... last wk i saw an ad' where a man was using a gun to kill the mosquitos biting his sleeping daughter; in my head 'CREATIVE but the kids are also watching.

I remember the verrrrrrrrrry 1st time i saw a bullet (not even a gun) it was in the office (early dis year); if i tel una say aproko dey pay, na lie o :) i karry my leg go visit our security men for their office, na so i reach dia begin halla, "anything for the girls, anything for the girls", dem just sidon dey look me dey laff' as i dey open and ransack dia drawers, 1st drawer: empty, 2nd drawer: old newspaper 'shior, 3rd drawer: bullllll (e small' come black one kind like.... like.... na bullet sha) omo' i no wait to confirm d black thing wey follow am, na so i begin stammer, say i dey go down; i sure say if to say officer p look well well' him for see yellow stain for my trousa (na piss) mehnn' d kind fear wey grip me eh, since dat day' i dey greet dem 4rm afar :)

Dos of u dat are familiar wit wazobia fm (a radio station in lagos) can attest to d fact that yaw and his colleagues kill more than 100 nigerians daily, HABA!!!! imagine some people calling to say, "Ehen yaw na me' abeg shooooooot my husband, yess my husband, he still dey sleep' or "omotunde, how ur side? ehen i want make u shoot me gun, or "oga yaw, shoot my friend timothy well well' 3rd mainland block o (na timothy block am???:) after d request d next thing u go hear na, ratatatata ratrata Boom!! tatata piuum Boom!!, some callers will even specify where they want the person to be shot' like the leg or hand; and una say na joke?????? i dey wait for d day wey person go phone say, "YAW ABEG 'HELEP ME SHOOT LG FOR.......... yaw go just hear gbosaaaai for him face 4rm nowhere, abi which kind rough play be dat ????? :)

FOTO OF THE DAY

Granny with 30yrs old finger nails; sumbori say ohon'ohon

hallosssssssssss

2009-02-09T11:30:00.029+01:00

wey dem? wey dem?? i say wey dem???? :)
Yessooooooooo i m baaccccck!!!! dos of una wey don dey threaten to delete my blog shld ni'suru till i remember my password so i go email to una (aloofa watch dis space) :p
I nor traful o' na my keyboard dey act up, if i type A, na S go appear; if i type R, na G i go see; i complain to our engineer n he say na too much typing, say i don type sotey all d characters don clean finish (i suspect say na fake keyboard) so naim make me say make i teslo for blogville but d keyboard no dissappoint me to carry 1st sha (temite 'ntoii) :p
sooooo wota gwan? wetin i miss?? werrin dey shele?' as in who marry?? who born?? who relocate?? or defecate??? :-) i get plenti plenty gist for una o, d things wey my eyes see' and my ear hear during dis period wey my keyboard go leave, no be small thing, i don compile sum of dem for una enjoyment, so if una don ready..............lets go dia

*OKADA HELMET FALLOUT: When i talk about d gbege wey dis hellmet kini fit cause, sum of una tink say i dey yarn opata, now see as e dey cause confusion everiwhere; according to this gist, one okada man like dat carry passenger for agege, as soon as the passenger (sex unkown) wear the helmet, naim him just change to yam/isu/ji/doya; hmm' no be laffing matter, inshort if any of una dey doubt me, just fix date (any day) and i go carry you go ojokoro police station for agege go see where them put the yam (i nor kno weda na 4 behind counter o) with ur korokoro eyez. u fit even bring camera come so u go get chance snap d yam wit okadaman(ie if dem neva bail dem)

ps: Standtall plz confirm :p

*MAN TURNS TO GOAT: I kno say dis tori no be fresh one esp for dos of us wey dey 9ja but 4 sake of sum oda pple wey neva hear like ...... and ....., dem say sum vigilante pple see 2 men wey wan thief one mazda, naim so dey pursue dem but unfortuntely, one of thief jump fence run, leaving behind d oda man, but as dem rush am, him just face wall' come change into goat/ewu/ewure but the vigilantes no send o, dem just carry the goat (i sure say dem tie him leg sef) go police station where dem lock am; i even hear say the man/goat no dey chop grass at all, say na only water him dey drink, plenty pple don condemn 9ja police for dis mata, say how dem go disgrace us like dis, sotey d tori don waka reach BBC. As for me elgee, i believe d story jare' abi no be 9ja we dey??? and bcos of my luv for 9ja police, i go give dem one strategy wey go helep dem redeem demself (free of charge) and d strategy be say, make the ojokoro police men release the yam make we carry am traful go kwara, go meet the goat, if the goat eat the yam naim be say nothing nothing but if d goat no eat d yam or if d yam eat d goat '(ova to una)

*YARDY'S VACATION: Dis one just dey annoy me bcos i nor kno why sum pple go dey drink alabukun for anoda pessin headache; Oga presido say him wan go 2wks vacation, people begin hala say one thing' one thing, me' i nor undastand oooooooo' abi pessin nor go rest again, d man na president naaa' abi una tink say e easy to be president of 9ja' make una free d man jare, Haba!!! even if him dey seeek' who nor dey seeek???? abegiii lef matta for mathaias; Yardy is our president weda we like it or not and it is God dat put him there (for a reason) so instead of us to continue calling for his head abi na leg, lets pray for him (he needs it); anywey according to nta, him suppose resume work 2day, like i said ko'eazy.

*JJ OKOCHA VS ETIM ESIN: Dis one na one drama wey i go follow till the ending :) according to the gist, jayjay wan host parry for him klub' him come invite him friends including Etim esin as per former colleague levels, but according to gbefilas, as party dey go on' naim small time dem announce say okocha phone dey miss, like play like play, dem begin search everibodi wey come party, na so e reach etim turn, dem search etim soteyyyyyyyy(dem search am sha) dem no see 40ne, during d search 'okocha come land, come rake for the searchers say,' na wetin???? una no dey look face??? una ori'4kasibe??? inshort' him sha apologise to etim well well say, make him no vex o, say na misunderstanding (i even hear say, him find am sumthing) na so d matter die, but the next thing we begin hear be say, Etim don 'employ one lawyer (guess who) to sue jay jay for 100million naira for damages; okocha on the other hand come say, him go sue etim 300 million for suing him *sigh* ndi nkem no be small thing o' as of now, Etim don loss him job for Hitv wey him dey follow analyze premier league matches bcos *whispers* him no gree drop the charges and apologies to okocha. The only thing wey i go talk be say one day 'one day the truth shall prevail

*GOV. FASHOLA NA IBO??: The oda day, i go oshodi to do my hair (why u dey bend face??:p) and say make i use my eyes confirm wetin my ear dey hear say fashola do; Nna mehnn when i land oshodi, e just be like say.......i dey yankee(sum how):p' Everywhere just clearrrrrrrrrrrrr, i even look for my agbero peeps (osama and co) i no see dem, e be like say dem don change base; omo oshodi clear sotey, u fit stand for oshodi see iyana ipaja :) but one thing wey i no gbadu na d pedestrian bridge wey i gats to use with 1million oda people (u sef no fit count dem) to cross to d oda side of d road; d hold up boku sotey, lastma officials dey control pple; u go dey hear' You stay there'; Oya you' move quick'; heyyy go back, go n join d queue; sum of dem even carry okondo :) its all gud jare, we gats to start sumwhere; but ndi nkem, pple sabi spread rumour o; wen i dey make my hair naim i ask my hairdresser say, wetin govt wan use d portion of land wey dem clear do, she come tell say, "Ahhh fashola wan plant flower", for my mind i confuse but i jst say, 'dats good , na so one woman wey dey sell purewater just chook mouth say, "No mind dat omo ibo jare, na flower we go chop??" at dis point i no fit pretend, i just comot my hairdresser hand 4rm my hair' come ask d woman, "madam (:p) abeg repeat wetin u just talk", trust yoruba woman' na so she begin shout, "Sista i tel u, fashola na ibo, i say na omo ibo bcos omo-eko no go dey break break everywhere like dis, go mushin, okoko, obalende' he jst dey pursue pple say, if lagos too hot for u, make u come collect 'transport (N6000) go bac to ur village", omo d woman nearly convince me o' but i no say right 4rm time wey i dey hear fashola, i kno say na 'ofe mmanu but since i no get him gsm to confirm am, na una (yes una) i go ask, mgbo Fashola na 'ajeokuta ma'mumi????? :p

to be continued,

Okada' london how much????

2009-01-08T10:15:00.042+01:00

*DEM SAY 'DEM SAY (PT I)
Awero: ojuelegba na how much??
Okada: na N500
Awero: say who die *hiss and moves away*
Okada: oya wait' how much u wan pay?
Awero: na N200 i get
Okada: okay enter' *gives her hellmet*
Awero: *snorts* dis ur helmet wey resemble back of pot, u dey wash am?
Okada: ahhh mama' na fashola o'
Awero: abegi' make i hear word jare' everithing na fashola' abi no be 4 una own good? if accident happen nko' no be dis helmet go save u??
Okada: mama' 4get dat one jare' no be today i begin drive 'machine
Awero: boya'lomo, jus carry me go where i tell u and i take God beg you' no speed o'
Okada: hahahahahahaha nothing do u mama' jus hold me tight'
Awero: ori'e
(The next morning)
Awero: *combs hair* omo' see as my hair dey cut o' wetin be dis??
*more hair comes off *egbami ' dat okadaman don kill me o' c all my hair for ground' yeeeeaa mami!! maammii!!

*DEM SAY 'DEM SAY (PT 2)
Vitus: my man' carry me go computer village
Okada: bros na N500
Vitus: come' if na play' stop am o' computer village e'baa; na N150 I enter am last week'
Okada: oga dat oone na last year' abi u neva hear say we don deyprovide helmet for passengers.
Vitus: wetin consign me wit dat one' na N160 i go pay' last.
Okada: oga i no go' na union price i give u
Vitus: *walks away* dis is rabbish!!
Okada: i nor go skool o'

*DEM SAY 'DEM SAY (PT 3)
Scholastica: *chewing gum* heyyy aboki' vee eye (v/island)
Aboki: pay N700
Scholastica: see ya mouth like 700; all dis mallam of yesterday; una don come open eye 4 lagos' na N300 i go pay.
Aboki: madam' i no be mo'llla o' oya put sumthing' u kno say hold-up plenty for road
Scholastica: ehen' na kuramo i dey go'
Aboki: ok enter; take ya helmet.
Scholastica: make dis ur jagajaga helmet no spoil my hair'
*after sum minutes*
Aboki: madam' we don dey reach kuramo
'Scholastica: (starts bleating) bea' bea' bea??
Aboki: *grinning* abi u nor wan come down?
Scholastica: bea'bea'bea * gestures with her hands pleadingly*
Aboki: dis ya 'breast go hear am today hahahahahahaha *zooms off*

Eyin temi' dos n many others are d kind of stories i ve been hearing since the FRSC mandated all motorcyle operators popularly called okada to use the crash helmet, tho i've not been able to verify any of the tori(s), it is not impossible (na 9ja we dey now) but dat is not our portion (Amen)
On my to work dis morning i saw one working class lady on okada holding her helmet above her head, as in she use her two hands hold am, n i began to wonder, wat if??????? how wld d helmet protect her?? abi dat na d latest style? cos u see guys doing same; even when the so-called helmets doesnt have straps.
Although i'm yet to use a helmet' (that is, i neva enter okada since dis year' (praise jah :p) i dont know how i going to wear the HELMET aka 'clement' on my head; (who sabi d kind ogor wey don wear am???) knowing how untidy sum of our okada men are. Dangote suggested buying me a crash hemlet but i REJECT am, abi na helmet him mates dey buy for der babes? him no kno where dem dey sell Rav 4 or X5 :)
Come to think of it, i wonder why there are no dispossable helmets' (as in u after u wear am finish u throway am) maybe its time sumone suggests it to the manufacturers (naughty eyes' wetin u feel??) b4 pesin go contract wetin no get name (since u CANNOT vouch 4 who had worn it)
Anoda interesting thing is the way our men in black are active' in arresting any defaulter, u go tink say na anoda thing dem dey find :) its all good sha' after all na part of their job' (shebi aloofaa??) Eko oni baje jare; Here's hoping IT lasts' cos sum of my 9ja pple sabi bend law to wetin suit dem.The FRSC has so far arrested 3,000 defaulters (na wa wa)

PS: Ehen as per dos dat kwalified to get my special hampers, nothing' nothing for una' cos none of you were able to decode the meaning of FOKASIBE; *shakes head* a whole blogville!!!! xcept for woomie who gets a ''HAM'' and uzezi who deserves a ''PER'' for been able to relate with it; SO diafor' ALL Hamper gifts have been suspended until further noticeeeeeee *grins*
until later
xoxoxo

PLS PRAY FOR LG' + ODA STORIES

2009-01-05T10:20:00.009+01:00

That 2009 will be a year of :
*Manisfestation of God's supernatural blessings in her family
*Greater achievements & experiences in her career.
*Restoration and fruitfulness in her body, soul and spirit
*And above all' Unlimited Grace
as you type in ur Amen' May it also be well with u and your family

Yessoooo0 2008 is gone and can Never come back Not even as a Remix, We give Glory to God for everything Esp' the fact that you can Still view dis Blog 'who says this is not a Miracle??????
We hope 2009 ll be a year of testimonies even for our country 9ja; Heres praying for better governance and an end to boju-boju politricks.

Hope u all had a lov'ly christmas, Lagos was as usual lagos and everywhere u go na fokasibe u go hear' ori'e fokasibe, danfo fokasibe, Arsenal fokasibe Abeg wat is fokasibe???? (FBA/XSN ova to una) talking of agberos' i nor kno wetin to buy for my 'Agbero' as xmas gift o' the bobo don try for urs truly no be small, anytime wey he see me for cms na free ride to kilimanjaro be dat, another thing i gbadu abt him is dat he is neat and not rough unlike his oda colleagues as in' he goes abt his duties quietly and diligently, i have not seen him fight with any driver or conductor neither have i caught him smoking dat thing tho his lips tells a different story entirely But above all he calls me mamma' (who dey jealous?? :)
So make una suggest wetin i go buy for my 'Agbero' who coincidentally bears a name that starts wit 'A and ends with O'
P.S: I no want suggestions like 'boxers' or singlet' b4 d bobo go begin tink say i get hidden agenda o :)

In the spirit of celebrating 2009ja, the first 9 commenters gets special hampers from LG'
Happy New Yeah'
xoxoxo

THE REASON......

2008-12-25T07:00:00.003+01:00

Have a blessed Christmas'

TGIF: I GO GIVE YOU HIV

2008-12-05T14:45:00.020+01:00

Baba' Baba' Baba' Baba'

Ese' o baba'

Awadupe Baba'

Yesso ndi nkem' like play like joke, we are in the month of kerimesi' the last lap for the year twenty o eight' Glory be to God for He has been loving, patient, faithful, benevolent, n above all FORGIVING despite our short comings;

The oda day a colleague was complaining abt how fast dis year was n how he was yet to achieve most of d things on his 'to-do-list-08', i then asked him 'if his plans were also God's plan' d bobo jus look me , shake him head say i too dey speak grammar' say how him go face him babe dis december without moto, omo' na so ur truly take 3steps backwards abi werrin i for do?? As for me moro or no moro i ll continue to thank God for d gift of Life o' after all one proverb say, 'when there is life, there is hope' cos na only pesin wey dey alive dey tink of buying keke or huma? so once again' THANK YOU FATHER for everything.

ehen' i just dey land from prisco blog n she dey complain abt fake products, d mata tire me o' cos nothin wey no get fake as far as we (u) dey concerned sotey we get fake bloggers ' dat one na according to 9jalines :)

NEWS-FLASH: mummy scoffield n oda bloggers wey wan send mi hampers' make una shine una eyes o' cos there are hampers n der are hampers' na so i 4all mugu last year wey i go buy one kind hamper like dat ' afta i see all d orisiri wey dem carry full on top i nor kno say na carton wey dem done soak 4 water for 2wks dem arrange 4 unda d nearly expired goodies, omo' i slap mysef dat day; So abeg even if na bags of rice una wan give mii' make una make sure dem no mix am wit kpokpo garri o :)

Talking of rice' i remember dos xmas /newyear day celebrations as children wey we dey chop all kind of orosiri rice 4rm arosun to abilikaki' all in d name of celebrating xmas' Na 4rm one room to anoda, we dey visit pple' na so we go wear our xmas clothes, carry red handbag, wear green wrist-watch (wey no dey work) nack pink eyeglass dey denge pose 4rm street to street dey tel pple wey we know, 'Aunty come do xmas for us' or ' Broda we dey come ur house o', after we don waka n chop rice n drink mineral tire, na strictly money we go dey collect, u go hear, 'aunty we no go chop rice o' dash us money ' mehn i miss dos days , maybe i shld upload one pix i took wit my white koi koi shoes lookin fly :) I wonder how kids of nowadays spend xmas? it cant be d same jare, all des shildren wey their eyes don dey chook 4rm belle ' Omotee na lie i talk??? :)

Yesso norrin dey happen but e be like say one thing wan happen o, i say make i use dis medium beg una' make una helep me beg Agbero say weda na by force? if no be say na one thing, na for television una 4 hear d mata, Bumight no rush me jare, i kno say u go defend am' shior! My pipo make una c me see wahala o' no be so i dey my own jeje yesterday dey listen to musiq naim my 4one beep say i get message, wen i check d message, c wetin my eye see...........

I GO GIVE U HIV

Happiness n joy forever with an

Incomparable lov dat ll never

Vanish till death do us part

Eyin temi' which kind ~~luv~~ ruff play be dis?????????? :)

anybodi wey kno him garage, i need d address sharply'

OR who else una suspect wey send dat kind sms???

Abi na .........?? or na ..........?? :)

HAPPY ILEYA

xoxo

11 months don waka'

2008-12-01T12:00:00.000+01:00

THANK YOU FATHER'

TRUE OR FALSE (vol 2)

2008-11-13T11:12:00.048+01:00

INSTRUCTIONS

*No spying/giraffing

*No omokrikri /microchip

*No using of calculators/blackberry(s)

*Switch off all phones

*Xtra marks for ogbonge answers

GOODLUCK :-)

1. There is a difference btw sterility and impotency IBI, MIZCYNIC

2. U can eat ur cake n have it RITA/REMI UTD/PARAKEET

3. Lagos is the centre of excellence SMARAGD/ONOME/BADDER
4. The Dictionary sometimes makes mistakes FFF/TEMITE/ALLIED
5. Democracy is not the best form of govt in 9ja STANDTALL, DOJA
6. If u can ride a bicycle....u can ride an okada AFRONUTS, KAFO
7. Kamala was a popular footballer in the 80's FINE BOY AGBERO
8. Arsenal football club is the besttest PRISCO/TINUADE/YEWANDE
9. Take ur height n divide by eight; dats how tall your head is NDQ,DEE
10. Dreams predicts future happenings 9JALINES, OLUWADEE
11. American celebrities are over-rated FRESH N FAB, SIRUS
12. Children grow faster during spring MUMMY TK/LADY A/KEMIE
13. UFO's don't exists STING/JAYCEE/PADOSH/INCOG9JA
14. Victims of yahoo-yahoo are as guilty as the perpetrators FEMI B, FQ
15. Its possible to cry under water MISSDEFMAYBE, SIMPLE GAL
16. All babies are born without kneecaps BUMIGHT, KINSHAR
17. You can kill ursef by holding ur breathe for 10mins TAIREB,TWIX
18. A cockroach has 9 lives BUTTERCUP/WRITEFREAK/9JAIDOL
19. Women play Golf MS. O, TOLUWA,JAMES'TUBMAN
20.Womens heart beat faster than mens ABABOY/ALOTE/SHUBY

***Bonus***
21. 'Igo maltex' is often used to refer to a ....UZEZI, MIZCHIF
22.Pete edochie acted d part of... in d film thingsfallapart OMO'T/OMO'B
23. Who sang the 9ja song wit lyrics 'money4hand,bac4ground' NIKKI
24. What happened to d 'old woman' in d poem old Roger is dead ISHA
25. Complete the saying,' 'wetin consign malu wit ..... 30+, ALOOFAA
26. What is the d 2nd to d last verse of the 9gerian national anthem OLAMILD/SABIRA/EKNOR
27.What is the name of the 9geria jaga-jaga crooner FLUFFY,POETI
28.Which character in d cartoon 'voltron' used d blue lion SHA,RAYO
29. Kunta' kinte was a character played by the protagonist in the film ...UCHEVELI,ORIGINAL MGBEKE
30. IF ur blackberry falls into d loo, wat will u do? XSN/CHARI/VERA

FEAR DEY CATCH ME O'

2008-11-08T10:00:00.007+01:00

VS
Neways....wat will be' will definitely be'
Show em' GUNNERS!!!!!!! :-)

***UPDATE***
YESOOOOO WE WON!!!
DEM NO GET MOUTH' :-)
GUNNERS 4LIFE!!!!!!!!!

OBAMADIKEPURUOGHARAYA......

2008-11-05T08:00:00.006+01:00

CONGRATS AFRICA'
IT IS WELLLLLLLL!!!

Gbese!!!!

2008-10-17T12:40:00.020+01:00

for alotedbabe(who doesnt know who 'samuel peters' is) Dearie' now u kno' :-)

This shot was taken during the world boxing championship heavyweight title that took place last saturday in berlin. The 28yrs old 'african's first heavyweight champion lost to ukarian 'Vitali Klitschko', but rumour now has it that, He (sammy) wants to call for a re-match; Wise move or......... werrin una tink??
BTW: WHO LOVES BOXING???????? n WHY????????????

TGIF: just gisting

2008-10-10T14:00:00.032+01:00

Yesoooo my people(s)' how una dey?? hope everything sege'menge :-)
everything's cool around here except for traffffffffffic, mehn' i dey parannoyed with Bros. Fash ' cos i nor understand why dem reopen 3rd mainland bridge' haba!!! under 1wk, lagos traffic don triplicate *sigh* me wey dey reach house b4 by 7.30pm now na 9pm (yestaday nko' na 10.30pm i.e 4hrs for 60mins journey) the whole mata just tire me; i don ready to pack my kaya to Abj' but dem announce am for ~~CNN~~ say d traffic feva don reach there :)-

I for say make i sharply relocate to jand abi na yankee but they too get their own 'scoin-scoin' Just dis week (tuesday) one oyibo nearly delete my 9ja broda simply because say the bobo wear 'Obama' teeshirt' **claps hand amebo style** Eyin temi' no be small thing o' the 36yrs old civil servant (Dube Egwuata) go buy top-up card for him phone' when the bolo just waka go meet am begin threaten am say him go delete am, Dube being think say na joke until him realise say bolo meant business' naim him quick quick zip up him jacket to cover the 'believe' teeshirt but 'whosai' dat one just enta 'voicemail' cos as soon as Dube enta him car naim bolo go shoot am ** sigh of relief ** But Thank God say 'our' broda no 'kpeme' although him sustain injury for him face, hand and shoulder and Dangote' say, i must relocate to jand' make him come jack my shirt :-) but omo the kind yawa wey dis 'Obama' don cause for we 9gerians....my mouth no fit talk am o' **scratches chin** i wonda werrin go happen IF 'Obama' becomes Presido ' (the lobbying no go get mate, i sure say sum pple go wan be him special adviser 4rm 9ja) lol neways dis is wishings the 'data analyst' a quick recovery'

Ehen' talking of politics, my fellow Legosian (according to Bola tinubu) una don hear say 2morrow (oct 11 2008) na local govt/ council elections, so make all of una go remove una 'voters card' 4rm inside dat portmanteau ' prepare to carry go vote 2morrow (its ur civic right and duty) as for me, i go vote after i don sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep belle full (and i go vote for SDP) :-) talking of SDP who remembers Bashiru Tofa?? dat NRC presidential candidate wey contest with MKO'.....yesss na him, i wonder wat happened to him after the june 12 buhaha' (he jst disappeared n talking of tofa wat abt dat ~~Toronto~~ ~~senator~~ Salisu Buhari? (him don graduate?) Bottomline: Prisco, Afronuts, Standtall, Nikisab, Uzezi n oda Legosians Make una vote wisely' 9ja o ni baje' o

Moving on..... Your's truly has decided to stop eating FISH, yessso i had to take dat decision before i begin sick wetin no get name' **sigh** Yestaday evening i was stuck in traffic at bonny camp, 'those conversant with the bridge kno dat in the early evenings u ll see a group of boys selling fresh fish (apperantly caught from the river/ocean/water) on the road side, I dont patronise dem tho' cos dem no dey sell my kind of fish (octopus) omo dat fish is a killer mehn as in e sweet baje :-)' ....... so i was stuck on the bridge' naim i say make i use my eyes browse thru d fishes wey dem display' as i look ground na only small kinkili crayfish i see, i begin wonder weda the boys nor kno say now na the peak period to sell their market, as i look up 'i see one fisher boy tanda one kind, as i strech my neck to see weda him don catch 'fish' , naim i see say the bolo use him left hand hold the reel while him right hand hold him 'kini' (no ask me the color) dey 'pissssss' for inside the water wey him dey catch fish wey 'we' dey 'chop' omo na so i faint '

Have a fabulous weekend
xoxoxo

E'bami ki'gbe Ole'

2008-09-24T11:32:00.019+01:00

One day bush meat go catch d hunter
One day bush meat go catch d hunter
Catch d hunter, catch d hunter...... sound sultan

I got a distressing phone call from a friend, Noooo!!! He didn’t lose his job, phone or his girlfriend, rather he lost his car, as in his car was STOLEN from the CHURCH where had gone to worship GOD, but that’s not the issue, the koko is that 'Emy' has decided to quit the Catholic Church, their offence: They still cant xplain how the vehicle was moved from their parking lot *sigh* Your’s truly has spent the last 1hour begging him via the net to no avail, not that i blame him tho' i remember how he scratched n saved to buy d helicopter, oops! i meant car :-)
But make una wait o!! Why we no dey fear God sef?? Imagine' going to steal from the Church (despite the fact dat we thief 4rm our parents, husband/boyfi, wife/girlfi, office, government, market, school, friends, colleagues, passengers, customers) *hiss* Haba!! or isn’t the church supposed to be a sacred place?
This seems to be the latest trend cos’ two weeks ago, my colleague also lost her bag (containing every…) in one of the pentecostal Churches where she had followed her friend to worship, according to her, she only left her seat to give offering not knowing dat her bag was being eyed, dem search for the bag soteeeey……… neways i don tell her say, The person wey borrow her bag don buy gbese (wetin i go tell 'Emy'??)

But Ndi nkem, there’s a twist to this stealing in the church gist o’ Dangote was telling me on sunday, that after mass he had seen a N1000 note on the floor close to the exit and was also sure other parishioners had seen it too but were either scared/shy to pick it, Him too jejely walked pass the money; NOW could it mean that they are no thieves in that parish, or that they didn’t attend that mass?? (i don ask una 4 questions o)

On a lighter side, dis money for ground matter just remind me of those days we used to play pranks (nowadays Shi’dren na only ps2 and shakira dem sabi) *wide grin* so on this particular day, awon boys don arrange handkerchief with paper inside (una remember how our papa/mama dey keep money inside handkerchief then tie am so e no go lost?) ehen’ na so awon boys tie the hanky then keep am for middle of road, go hide for corner to see the oju-kokoro wey go pick am thinking say na money dey inside; After some mins, one Baba appear for street, when he got to where the hanky was lying, he use his leg to kick ‘it’ forward like football, we began to giggle anticipating his next move; Baba-wise continued to kick the 'hanky' at the same time looking behind him to see if anyone was watching, when he had gotten to the end of the street, na so all of us rush out from our hideout' begin pursue am dey shout’
Ole! Ole! Baba Ole!!! Baba Ole!!! omo as soon as Baba-wise see us, na so him pick up the hanky begin tear race...... laugh nearly bend me :-)

Madness……i reject it

2008-09-17T12:10:00.009+01:00

Ladies n gentlemen, bois n gals, mamas n papas, bloggers n non-bloggers, Una good morning o’ how una dey?? I hope no sme-sme ; yessssooooo as far as baba loke remains baba loke (no rival), norrin do all of us :) Amii o

The other day i saw a mad woman been chased by some officials of the Lagos state traffic management authority (lastma), mehn you need to see how the woman was zooming in n out of traffic; it’s miracle she wasn’t knocked down by a car *sigh* but madness no be beta thing o' or how can one live for years without knowing who or where he/she is.
The dictionary defines it as a relatively permanent disorder of the mind;
harsh but true, i know of a mad man (not spaco) that calls everybody ‘aunty’ he even calls introduces himself as “aunty”; as soon as he sees you, he walks up to you n says, "aunty, aunty wan chop o, i say aunty wan chop o", but when you give am money, na for chewing gum that money go end up (i kid not) no matter how much u give him and u dare not beg him o if u no want c madness in action:) He has been/still is like dat.

There's another one close to law school, he is always clad in a sweater and box (no -er to complete am) whenever there a lil traffic he goes to dos driving flashy cars to beg for money, him even get fine voice sef, u go just hear, 'Give me money' nothing like 'please o' ( wetin consign mad man wit abeg) i use to pity him cos he wasn't aggressive untill i caught him red handed smoking dat thing, mehn my luv for him flew out of the danfo bus one time' *loud hiss* nansense see pessin wey i been get plans for' shiorr
The women nko na another matter, apart 4rm the fact that they are molested n sum times impregnated (for rituals and other sadistic purposes), they also are exposed to all sorts dehumanization from the society, who believe they have been cursed for partaking in one evil or another; but i wonder how these women cope during dat time of the month, or dem no dey see dat thing????

Ndi nkem, i don think dis madness matter soteyyyyyyyyyyy' before i begin kolo make i ask una......
1. What causes madness ???
2. Is it all mad men dat smokes?? (all d ones wey i kno dey smoke)
3. Can it be cure as in totally
4. Is it hereditary (sum claim it is)
5. Is it possible for non-smoker to start smoking as soon as he becomes mad
6. Is being mad d same thing as one partially losing his/her memory
7. Who is responsible for taking care of dem (the govt/their families)
8. How true is the statement dat, all humans are entitled to 5mins madness daily

..... and he caressed me

2008-09-09T13:00:00.033+01:00

I have been harassed 3 times..

The Ist time was when i was in j.s.s2 and had recently started sprouting dem breasts tho’ they were more like small oranges :) it was the era of bra tops and I had lots of colors to choose from (thanx to mumsy) On dat fateful afternoon i was on my way to see my classmate who hadn't come to school.The journey was rather un-eventful, till I felt a hand on my breast; it was the man sitting beside me; He slowly began touching me but i didn’t shout, cry...... nothing; the assault continued till we got to the last bus stop n he quickly got down n disappeared, as in when i got down, i couldn’t find him; the funny thing was dat nobody noticed n even if they did, no one say anything. I continued my journey to my friend’s place n didn’t tell her or any person wat happened (wat could they have done?) i didn’t know the perv's name or where he resides; i couldn’t even remember wat he looked like; But looking back on dat incident.. asides the fact dat i am a shy person, i stil cant explain why I didn’t scream my head off; maybe i was in shock or na jazz :)

The 2nd time: The culprit was sonny spaco (a mad man dat lived in my neighborhood) it wasn’t serious o’ before una begin hyper ventilate; he was only doing wat he knows how to do best….. which was to touch other people’s breast, but mehn no be small thing o’ i jst tank God say no be only me sha! It wasnt too long after the first incident, 3 of my friends (classmates) had followed me home; after gisting n entertaining dem wit con'des and rondo-rondo, we all left my house to visit another classmate, as we got to the bus stop, a man appeared in front of us, before we could shout 'whoiberat?!?!?!' He begin press our breast(s) pium! pium! pium! pium! like door bell, eyin temi' una need to see how we pick race, the next day at school i apologise tire b4 dem go say i set dem up :)

The 3rd time, It was during my 2nd year in school, i was on my way to visit my friend (toria) she resides in ikotun-egbe, she had given me the addy but 4got to tell me dat i have to take a bike (okada) to her house, na so i stop one okada, only for the driver inform me dat he carries two passengers, instead of me to double the price so he can take me alone, na so i tanda dey for wait the 2nd passenger, a man finally came n after haggling wit the driver, sat behind me. the driver had only driven for some mins, when the passenger behind me began to mumble and gyrate as in.....up & down, up & down' omo' i cldnt move, which kind winchy be dis?? i just began to pray dat toria's house wasnt far, i think d driver noticed the action, bcos he stopped driving n asked the man to get down, to come down nko? na anoda tori, the driver had to force him down. It was when we had gotten to toria's house dat d driver warned me neva to share a bike wit other passengers esp men *loud hiss* good samaritan, why him no tell me before shior! But after dat incident, i became very harsh as in, if anybody... weda man/woman/boy/girl conciously or otherwise touch my kini, i dey nearly kill d pessin wit bad eye *grins* the tactics had been working for me until....

Dat that friday evening, i had boarded a bus 4rm Ajah going to obalende though my destination was TBS, It was one of dos unusual days when there was no traffic, we had gotten the the civic centre when i felt a hand caressing my thigh, i screamed or rather shouted yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa!! (dis one pass ouch!! o) and raised my legs, my first thought was 'it's a dog or cat’ but how come??’ by dis time the driver had parked n everyone was starring at me, i looked behind n saw one bolo looking at me one kind, na so i give him am Gbosaiii'

'U no dey fear, u no dey fear, u touch me’ i stammered, standing up.

He held his face with one hand n pushed me wit d other,

‘Eh u push me’ as i my raised my umbrella to hit him, the condor held my hand

‘Leave me' i screamed 'i must wound dis goat 2day, shey u no dey fear’, i fumed

‘U nor fit do anything, i touch u?’ the bolo asked

‘So u still get mouth ehn, i go show u today, useless man’ i screamed

‘Sistah, e don do' abeg forgive am' some passengers began pleading;

‘Make una no beg me o' 'i mus deal wit am', i retorted, 'driver make we dey go'

The journey continued and i began strategizing, i didnt want the bolo to go scot free, i wld luv to hand him over to the police (at least he go chop beating) and i kno the police headquarter (zone 2) was close to the bus stop i was to alight, but if the bolo was going to obalende, how can i single handedly drag him out of the bus???? but my people, mathew 7:7 proved itsef o, cos bolo then informed the conductor that he was alighting at onikan (the same bus stop i was to alight) omo una need to see how i begin shine ma' teeth :)

We finally got to onikan, i alighted and began look for any uniformed officer around before the bolo runs away but as soon as he came down i heard

'Aunty sorry, abeg no vex na d.......' i walked off b4 he finished talking

Dis morning......

2008-08-28T12:20:00.032+01:00

....Woke up by 2.30am, 30 mins later it was still 2.30 am, 5hrs lata........... yeepa, battery ti' ku :)
....Prayed for oluwadee, nikisab, f f f, toria(my padi) n every oda person getting married dis year; as for u (singles) this year no go pass una .......... I say dis year no go pass una *Amii*
....Spent less than ## mins in the bathroom (norrin do me)
....Noticed my tummy's becoming too flat (sneezes), sum bori Help!!!!
....PHCN flashed us light after several weeks of black out; Up Nepa!!!!
....Burnt my thigh while ironing, see pix here *giggles uncontrollably*
....Over heard my neighbour (next building) kpokpoing her husband; (chai!!)
....Paid N300 to Ajah instead of N200; *hiss* i been wan claim staff but i nor see fine boi agbero *grins*
....Spent 2hrs on the 3rd mainland bridge, it was awful; wished I had boarded Lg canoe services
....Listened to ‘E go betta’ by Tony tetuila on wazobia; brought tears to my eyes
....Sat besides a woman breast feeding her child (see as she just xpose her kini) con'dor wan’ look die :)
....Saw an agadi e’kwenka/old mama youngi wearing ‘show me ya breast/nyash’ rabbish!! if dem get chance, i sure say dem go wear skinny jeans *hiss*
....Wondered how many people know their purpose on earth
....Noticed a gala hawker praying by d road side; (u don pray 2day?)
....Imagined wat Lagos wld look like without poverty, child abuse and CRIME...one minute silence for the victims of the oceanic bank robbery at orile
....Saw a group of men being arrested by KAI, their offence??? Trekking on the 3rd mainland bridge; (but why we no dey hear word????) *hiss*
....Watched a naval officer kick the butt of a danfo driver; dos drivers ...
....Wondered how fashola is going to rehabilitate Lagos area boiz.
....Saw a pool of blood on the road side, close to my office n wondered if it belonged to an okada man or an okada man (they r very reckless)
....Saw Mtn’s latest tv ad, luurve it esp when 'dayo' (my celeb son) whistled
....Saw Mariam anazodo after a lonnnnnnng time; she looked gud
....Read, Senator Uche chukwumerije has petitioned the world taekwando federation over the poor officiating in the tournament in the just concluded beijin olympics where uche(his son) won a bronze medal for 9geria. He alleges racism (ok na!!)
....Read, the federal road safety corps have mandated ALL okada riders n their passengers to wear helmet/headgear beginning 4rm 2009 (abegii, i go buy my own helmet; i no wan contract kpof-kpof) lolllll
....Read, Obama escaped an assasination attempt; (na waoooooooo!!)
....Read Ndi onyuike okereke (obama gate) might not lose her job afterall;
....Wondered how a man can invest 500 million in a church; (kini big deal??)
....Decided to let go n let God; It is well!!!
....Called seyi to book an appointment for Saturday :)
....Thought of the perfect pressie to give prisco and mizchif on their baffday(s) apart 4rm my prayers *winks*
....Wondered wat happened to Naijachickito, Duchess, Onome, Naija fine gurl, simple gal, In my own words, l'amour, minky, nogo, Sherri,Ynot, ibo-dude, boldfaze, doja, darkelcee, TLK and odas???
....Imagined how many bloggers I had unknowingly walked passed in tejuosho, opps!!! i meant shoprite, :)
....know the Ist blogger to comment on dis post; it’s the one n only......... lollllllll
....Have a blessed day xoxoxoxo

PS: a big shout out to my peeps (Dee, prisco, f f f, nikisab, aphrodite, chi-grace, mizchif, ynot, ibo -dude, chioma-mom, dbalone, aijay, tobenna n odas)
Ibo kwenu!! Happy Biafra-day Celebration!! Nautin me'ga :)

YAAAY!!! WE WON !!!

2008-08-23T09:20:00.020+01:00

Our first 'Silver' medal since the Beijin olympic began, sum bori shout Halle............... (wide grin)
C’mon guys, cheer up!!!!!! The samson siasia led 'dream team' deserves commendation and nothing else (who dey murmur for there????) :)
'Chari i hope, you no bet wit anybody o', lolllll Aloofaa wat abt u??

I spent the first 45mins sleeping, Oops!! :) more like consulting and the oracle revealed to me (yes me) dat we ll be going home with a Silver made 4rm gold plates (sic) so make una take am easy o, the boyz played their heart out. Remember ' it was still these ‘ojoro-loving’, ‘jersey-pulling’ 'time-wasting' argentines dat trashed almigh’ry brazil 3 naughts!! (grins)
Yesso today shld be a good day for ALL Nigerians esp for dos in the world of sports cos we went, we saw and we …………. :)

London 2012 is another opportunity for us to prove oursef, so preparation shld begin NOW!! (i hope NNF is reading)
But even as i listen to the boys shouting, ‘they robbed us again!!' outside my window, I cldnt help but ask myself 2 questions:
* Wat happens to the team now esp Samson siasia????
* Wld mikel have made any difference in the team???? *sighs* E go better jare,

On a lighter note; Did u guys hear about the four Horses that failed the dope test in the show jumping competition, *grins* they were suspended after testing positive to the banned substance capsaicin but nawa for this oyinbo people o, thank God our own scoin-scoin neva reach dat level, lollll

Later guys, I've got a date with ‘Merci’ after all' the book of knowledge commands us to celebrate wit those celebrating *winks*
Have a fun-filled w’end,
Norrin do us!!!

CONGRATS TO 9JA + MY FACE-LIFT

2008-08-19T18:05:00.020+01:00

9ja... dis na 9ja...
9ja.... i dey gbadu 9ja oo....( x3)

4 big gbosas!! 4 the 'dream team' jare, gbosa! gbosa!! gbosa!!! gbosa!!!!
9ja, we too 'mush' (now repeat after me) we too 'mush' *grins*
but seriously, i owe dos bois plenty shepe o!! esp nsofor, anichebe, obasi, van zekin, obinna n my osaze, ohhh osaazz, see ya eye, ya ear, ya teeth, ya leg, ya ...... n ya....... (sb tweaks Lg ) *lol*
yesso!!! we proved it today n ll do so again come saturday at the finals.
(i just hope 'lionel merci' contracts jedi-jedi friday nite sha) *evil grin*

Haba!!! E nor easy o!!, since Olumpic (according to our mallam) start, 9ja neva win (not even 1/2 ) Gold medal, a whole giant of africa, the bois kno Lg wont have dat else, they' be 4gotten in china, *lol*
but sum 9gerians are funny o, everybodi wan represent; after d match i started hailing everybodi in the office, *up 9ja! we trashed 'em*; i come carry my kurukere leg go meet our GM (gate man),
' baba, 9ja too mush o, shebi u watch d match?' i asked, and he replied,
'sisi mi, why not, i watching it na, see all the goals wey papilo score?? dat boyz sabi play o' in my head "huh??? 4 where baba see kanu??? was it 4rm his kchibo radio???", lolllllllll
Norrin do us sha!!! WE WON!! :)

Now, abt how i got my face-lift;
I went to see my sistah (a friend actually), after chilin with her n her daughter(very cute gal) She told me she was looking for a house-help n wants to enlist the help of an agency, but the only problem was dat, she doesnt kno if she shld ask for a male or female help, she asked for my opinion n i began to sing 'palava u dey find, palava u go get it oooo'
(in other words, 4get it) shocked, she asked why? n i told her .....

*U wake up by 8am one morning (already late for wrk), runs into the bathroom, u r abt to hang ur towel, when u see Red (yes a red) shikili g-string hanging on the shower rack, knowing ...
(1) U dont own/wear one,
(2) Its just u, hubby, ur 2yrs old daughter and..... risi ur house-help
U madly walks (runs) to risi's room with d 'offensive garment'. U find her sleeping n shouts at her, 'Risi! Risi! c'mon wake, cant u hear me? get up!!', U hit her not too gently on d back, 'My friend c'mon wake up', she opens her eyes and non nonchalantly looks at u, this infuriates u more n u scream at her "who is the owner of this..... this thing!!, i saw hanging in the bathroom..... my bathroom!!????
Risi looks at the g-string, takes it 4rm u n examines it (she nearly smell am sef) then loudly exclaim, shaking her head. 'Madam no be my own, i nor kno who get am, even sef u fit ask oga, him kno say i nor dey wear pant!! ( hehehehe Ebenebe!!! na LG get am *hiss*)

OR

*U r bathing ur daughter on sunday morning, whilst playing n asking her questions abt her friends/teachers in school, u finish washing her 'kini' but just to be sure there r no poop hiding hiding *grins* u begin to probe with ur fingers, When suddenly ur daughter exclaims, 'oohhhh Mommy!!!! you are doing what uncle-okon (house help) use to do to me........ skip!!!
Eyin temi, i neva even finish d tory before my friend give me 'Gbaun!!'
una see me see wahala??, abi nor be she ask for my opinion?????? *sigh*
Newayz, make una choose for her, male or female house-keeper????
My face neva recover

NEWS FLASH!!!

2008-08-19T10:15:00.017+01:00

This is to inform the blog ville that LG will only update if the U23 'dream team' of 9geria beats the Belgian's 'red devils' today at the semi-final soccer event in the on-going Beijing 2008 Olympics.
The match starts by 11am 9gerian time pere!!
Thanks for your co-operation

PS: All d soccer praya warriors in the house, take note.

TGIF!!! IF U THINK UR JOB SUCKS .....

2008-08-15T15:35:00.001+01:00

Wat abt these guys....

Una still dey laff???? *looks around for koboko*
K'mon go down on ur knees n begin to thank ur BOSS!! *grins*
Have a super weekend. Cheers!!

TGIF : Love o' Love

2008-08-08T14:50:00.018+01:00

Hi guys, hope u r all doing fabulously well. Like we all know today is an unusual day because 08-08-08 comes once in a ...... (abeg help a sistah out o) *grins*

Also the Beijing Olympic starts today in China, n we are hoping dat our own U23 *The Dream Team* ll do us proud (like in 1996) and bring home the Cup, i also hope the god of Samson Siasia is reading this, if not i ll personally sack him b4 NFA sorry NFF does *winks*

Dat aside, on dis unusual (wet) day, i woke up to the blast of 'wat wont u do 4 love by tupac' from my bro's room, 'in my head', LOVE ke? dis kind early mor-mor, see how tupac just dey rake , lollll

But dis love matter done show me pepper o, i remember doing lots of nansense all in the name of love, one time like dat, i sent my one of my friend to PH to beg my bobo, (nor be say him catch me o, tufiakwa!!) i just felt he wasnt paying me much attention unlike b4 (sucks right? i kno) na so i gather all my money, send my namesake to PH (thank God sef say na ifesinachi she enter) she see the bobo n d bolo begin to yarn nansense abt me, he said i too love LOVE, now guys when did that become a crime???? to cut the long story short (cos some pple eye wan bulge comot) *grins* I fash'ied him.

Another time like dat, i was going out (not dating) with a guy in school, dis guy invites one babe like dat to his house, d babe spends d nite n in the morning wears his jalabia gallivanting the neighbourhood (na pple tell me o) when i asked confronted him? He told me she didnt come with extra clothes n dat she couldnt go back to the hostel because she was lonely; Mumu3 like me believed him, not knowing dat they were seriously dating n doing it at nite, this went on 4 a while but since i never caught dem at it, i believed i was the only sugar in his tea (b4 una begin to curse me, e don tey o) till he later confessed to me dat the babe was his girlfriend. How i reacted?? Story for another post :):)

Now guys its ur turn, looking back Whats the most mumu-ish thing you ve ever, ever done 4 love? The mumu-est stunt even gets to win a prize, so if u all are ready ....

While u r at it enjoy dis one, also from our sponsors;

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money!!, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then Pow!! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend 'My wife found out.....'

My Hairdresser 2 (THE REVELATION)

2008-08-05T16:00:00.009+01:00

Hehehehehehe see dem, see how dem dey rush to come know how seyi take break bottle my head, i even sure say some people neva baff sef, pple like ...... erm make i mention names?? una kno una sef jare, *grins* neways back to d 'koko', I went to seyi's salon n we talked, deep talk but sorry to dissapoint u guys, seyi no slap me! neither dis she insult me! so make una swallow una laff; Afro and Mz dee i said stop laffing...

*clears throat* So dat sunday afternoon, i went to seyi's salon to make my hair, fortunately for me i was the only client so i had her to mysef i.e if her 4one doesnt ring; We had chosen a style and seyi was halfway done, when a guy walked in, 'in my head' Oh no! after all my fasting n prayas (i kid) luckily the guy just came to buy airtime, but to go kwanu! 4 where??, he just dey there dey play wit d 4one, (dis guy runs don enta voicemail, lia lia seyi is not going anywhere) as i dey plan how i go 'spoil him runs, bobo begin make calls (still inside), at a point, i noticed seyi stopped weaving, i ask her wats was wrong, she said nothing then continued but as soon as d bobo finished his call, thanked seyi n left, she just leave my hair, begin to clap hand (dat kind 'dis life nawa' kind of clap) and she told me dat .....

the bobo dat just left was on the 4one with his married lover in bayelsa, i asked her how how she knew and she said she understood the guy's dialect n dat the bobo was asking the babe about his son. from his conversation (according to seyi ), it seems the babe (newly wedded) put to bed last month or so and her bouncing baby boy is a dead ringer of bobo, now bobo wants to know if its 'safe' for him to come and visit.

at dis point i just dey look seyi like dopemu, which kind deception be dis??? Bobo knew Babe was married yet he went ahead to do it with her (who know how many times sef) resulting in Bobo junior, now he's afraid to go n visit (as a well-wisher) for the fear dat Hubby might notice d resemblance; But 4 how long?? While seyi was blaming the bobo, i was blaming the babe (why she open 4 am??) even sef which kind woman go do sumthing like dis ???? *sigh* my pipo if care is not taken, i go traful to bayelsa o

BTW: Guys, guess the no.1 song in my neighbourhood ....

When the going is smooth and good, many many people.....

Who remembers it??? Rocked it??? n still has it???

9ja babes and 'forming'

2008-07-30T15:30:00.015+01:00

Eyinn people, werrin dey?? hope no 'wahala'. but wait o!! una see yesterday's 'hold-up'? Mehn....dat one don pass traffic o, i actually wished i could fly home.*grins* but what'a gwan with lagos n traffic sef or e get where dem dey 'dash' people motor??? cos everyday na so cars dey 'boku' for road; if so make i go collect two 'tear-nylon' o, one 4 my sef and one 4 my Granny; at least i wld be happier knowing she now goes to the farm with her RAV4 or CRV, lol hard to imagine shey?? Gran-momsy behind the steering with hoe/cutlass/basket on the passenger's seat LMAO. But seriously, i wonder how pple'll cope when the FG closes 3rd mainland bridge (for repairs) on saturday, i sure say pple go dey enter canoe go work (nor be laffing marrer o) but come to think of it,its another way of making money o, i only need to buy plenty 'canoe' from 'oworonshoki', hire some drivers/divers with one or two life jackets (i cant shout) and charge passengers like 200 bucks per trip ( e nor cost o, remember say i go settle 'agbero' plus no go-slow), LG canoe transport services ltd don 'set' be dat :) or how una see the idea?? all the investment /financial experts in the house, holla!! :-)
(i digress) Yesterday's traffic was terribly o, d annoying thing is dat u can neva tell wats causing it n today doesnt look any different, dis lagos sef!! *hiss newayz' as i alighted at my bus-stop, alarm begin tear me' i then remembered there was no food in the house, so i strolled to the ms. small (no free advert) close by to get 'beans n dodo' (one my favourite) after getting my food i decided to eat it there (free A/C plus Dstv) i had taken like 5 spoonful then heard clank! clank! clank! i looked up and saw a babe seated adjacent me, eating meatpie wit cutlery; Now i have a problem' n dat problem is dat 'i sabi laff', i nor mind where i dey o, as far as i see sumthing wey funny, hehehehehe go jus come out; so when i see dis mgbeke feeling funky dey battle meatpie n fork, my hehehehe change to hohohoho :-) i cldnt control it o, ofcourse the babe knew why i was laffing, cos she gave me one wicked bad eye, then resumed the WWF, una need to c her face as the fork nor gree co-operate with the knife :-) for my mind 'make dis girl nor chook/cut hersef o, abi na by force?? even the (fine sistah, anything for d boyz) security guards noticed it and were giggling but d babe no send us, IF nor be say i too love 'my face' i for 'snap' her when she dey chop and upload am 4 una :-) but WHY babes like to 'form'?????? (me i no go lie' i used to form till i disgrace mysef n even got a nickname Bouncing Okpa, lollll i ll tell u guys abt it ONLY if u promise not to laff. *grins* but una neva my question o, i say why 'some' babes too dey 'form'???????

UPNEXT: MY HAIRDRESSER 2 (THE REVELATION) **STAY TUNED!!!!**

My pickin must play footu-ball

2008-07-26T17:00:00.023+01:00

BABA BEJI: *shouting* Taiye!! Taiye!
TAIYE: yess daddy
BABA BEJI: What r u doing there?
TAIYE: i am reading my books
BABA BEJI: Ni'bo!?!? come here dis minute *holds taiye's ears* how many times have i told dat i dont want to see u reading ur books after school ,ehn how many times
(taiye looks at his father fearfully)
BABA BEJI: cant u talk?? ehn??? where's kehinde??
TAIYE: he has gone to play foot..ball
BABA BEJI: *shout* so WHAT r u doing here, have i not told u dat as soon as u come back from school, u and kenny shld go to dat field close to d market to practise? have i not???
TAIYE:*stammers* but daddey, i dont like football, i m always falling down n injuring mysef
BABA BEJI: c'mon sha'tap!, dont u see papilo...i mean Kanu, was dat not how he started, wat abt Okocha and Mikel???? do u kno how much they are making weekly, and u are here saying .....(mimicks taiye) Rabbish!!!! oya b4 i open my eyes, run to marakana now
TAIYE: but daddey, i ...i...
BABA BEJI: WHAT!?!? *slaps taiye* i say runnnnnnnnn NOW!!!
(enters mama beji)
MAMA BEJI: aah daddy, pls dont slap him again o, u ll injure him , after'all football is not byforce
BABA BEJI: so..... u r d one ehn; u are the one spoiling him with too much books, see let me tell u, i am his father so he must do wat i tell him to do (notices taiye is still there) so' u r still here..(removes slippers)
Taiye runs outside crying
MAMABEJI: Daddy leave my son o, leave my son 4 me o i dont kno dis football thing u r always talking o, is it byforce or how many football did u play wen u were his age.
BABA BEJI: omo-re-gie o!!!! *removes belt* you r cursing me abi, oya come here (reaches for mama beji, who ducks and run into the bedroom)
'why r u running?? come here, let me show u football, nonsense!! dont you see small martins of yesterday asking wenger for £15 million before he can transfer to arsenal, but...cheiii

(looks up and talks to himself)
'but dat kind money go do wonders for my life, if only taiye go serious with football like him brother kenny, i nor get wahala be dat na!! bcos like in 2010 when both of dem go be 20 yrs , dem go dey play for chelsea or man u and even sef, i fit be their manager; dat time na, Mama beji go dey sing yahoozeee, hehehehehe na so women be na!!! anyway, make i go convince her'. (calls wife by pet name)
"Paseromi, ma' binu si mi jor, Paseromi!!" (enters room and shuts door)

Awon temi, dont be too harsh on baba-ibeji o, i just saw the list of the 10 Highest-Paid Soccer Players by Forbes, they are:
1. Ronaldinho, Barcelona FC; Total Earning: $29.5 million / £16 million
2. David Beckham, Real Madrid; Total Earning: $29.1 million / £15.8 million
3. Ronaldo, AC Milan; Total Earning: $23.4 million / £12.7 million
4. Wayne Rooney, Man United FC; Total Earning: $17.2 million / £9.3 million (small boi, i nor sure say him don pass 20yrs)
5. Michael Ballack, Chelsea FC, Total Earning: $16.8 million / £9.1 million
6. Thierry Henry (Igwe), Arsenal FC; Total Earning: $15.8 million / £8.6 million (twas b4, i have no idea wat barcelona pays him)
7. Zinedine Zidane, Real Madrid; Total Earning: $15.6 million /£8.5 million (i tot he had retired?)
8. Fabio Cannavaro, Real Madrid; Total Earning: $14.6 million / £7.9 million
9. John Terry, Chelsea FC; Total Earning: $14.3 million / £7.7 million
10. Steven Gerrard, Liverpool FC; Total Earning: $14.2 million / £7.7 million
See M-O-N-E-Y!!!! Abeg, dont try converting it to Naira o, i nor wan hear say person don faint *grins* But make una tell me, no be money laundering be dis??? EFCC where art thou??? lol

Wa'rapa'

2008-07-23T13:00:00.019+01:00

Otherwise known as Epilepsy is a disorder of the central nervous system characterized by loss of consciousness and violent uncontrollable contractions of muscles.
Before now, i had never known or seen anyone come under the 'attack of wa'rapa' ( some believe its an evil spirit) but all that changed yesterday.
After work, i had gotten to the bus garage and i noticed a guy standing and whispering to a lady seated inside d bus i was to board, 'Na wa wa' i muttered. the lady who was prolly in her mid 20s was on low-cut, a top and 3/4 pants (the in-thing for lagos gals), their gist continued till the bus got filled up, the guy tapped/caressed d babe on the shoulder and left. The journey was rather fast cos there was no traffic, thank God. We got to our destination and started alighting, i got down and had only taken 3 steps when i heard "Gbauu!" followed by a loud scream. Na so all man begin run (me nko???? i take off o) who wan die?? lol
I had gotten to a distance then realized some people had stopped running, 'wetin dey hapen for there?' i asked a guy i saw walking calmly behind me, chuckling, he answered 'wetin dey pursue u?' 'if na u nko', i retorted. 'hahahaha, he laughed, anyway na one wa'rapa'-chick like dat'. 'Whats wa'rapa'?? i asked, at this point i noticed a small crowd near d garage. 'Sistah, abeg i nor fit explain, go there go look am', with dat he walked away. On auto pilot, i walked back, when i got to the garage, i saw d lady in low-cut, who some mins ago was talking to her 'guy' twitching on the floor, 'bring spoon', 'bring salt and water' 'dont let her close her mouth o' filled the air, as some women ran helter skelter looking for water( i guess) 'aaww poor girl' i looked on with tears in my eyes , '' she and who follow???" a man asked as he brought out a spoon n forced it into her mouth, Nobody answered, and i wondered abt the guy talking to her at the bus stop, Was he aware of her condition? After some mins , she stopped convulsing, opened her eyes and whispered something to d man holding her, he then asked someone to call a taxi. some female traders started chasing the children who had gathered around away. The cab came and 'the good samaritan' with a another woman, helped the lady inside and cab drove away. the next thing i heard was;
'Na wa o, see as dis thing jus disgrace dis fine gal' 'She be ogbanje??'
'Na only God go save person for dis lagos o' 'NO! na warapa dey do am' 'Una sure say she nor be winch??' 'She needs serious deliverance o'
'Na una sabi, oya make una dey go, film don finish!!' this from a woman holding a broom poised like she wants to sweep us off the road.
I walked home disturbed, with many questions in my head,
Is epilepsy hereditary?? Didnt she have a premonition?? Is she cursed??
(i hope not) Does it have a cure?? How can one contract it???
*sigh* and such a fine girl too, My pipo i jus tire.

Real Spooky

2008-07-19T15:40:00.012+01:00

Hi guys, hope u are all having a swell weekend,
a friend just sent me dis “puzzle”

While sitting down, make clockwise circles with your right foot.
While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
You ll notice dat our foot will change direction without ur consent (lol).

I tried it n wat can i say except “spoooooky”,
can ANYONE explain it????

**While u are at it, enjoy this one
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in and was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. " But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my LOVE dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "LOVE dress? But you're naked!" screamed her MIL. "My husband LOVES me to wear this dress," the wife explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me." The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my LOVE dress," she whispered, sensually. "Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

PS: Ehen make una follow me go sing Happy Anniversary to MR & MRS STANDTALL, na there e dey happen 2day, so if all of una don tie una gele finish.... Lets gooooooooo Dia

Come n join me...

2008-07-14T08:00:00.019+01:00

Baba God don do am again o,
Today is my Baff-day/Bed-day/Buy-day/Birthday
somebody PRAISE THE LORD!!!
dis year i'm xpecting 300 bloggers, 100 VIP and 500 gatecrashers **grins**
d parry kicks off in a few hrs;

Mean wili, Prisco, Aphrodite, n Qmoney, pls ensure dat all d guests are already seated by then.
Ehen!! B4 i forget, i want Mz.dee, Standtall, Duchess, Tairebabs, n Dee to be seated close to Yar'adua (y una dey laf??)

Smaragd pls make sure dat d caterers are already at d venue, (i no wan hear say some pple nor chop o) Aloted, Mommy, Writefreak can assist u wit dat. (ehen, if soft/hard drinks finish, i stil get zobo/peeto for fridge)

Chariziard will take care of entertainment, i hope Dbanj, Psquare, Tubaba, 9ice n others fulfil their promise to come, ehen abeg, if Omo ibadan must perform, he shld not sing 'Gbamileti', i dont want dat kind song on my birthday, Olamild can assist u, but i no want obesere o.

Fantasy queen, Ibiluv ll take care of bloggers 4rm Abj/PH so, FFF, Ejura, Nikisab, Onome, Adoolicious, Ice queen, Naija idol and others look out for them.

I'm counting on Fresh n fab and 134Elitz magazine for the media coverage.

All bloggers outside 9ja, should be seated at d pink hall, u guys are special! Naijalines(i want c tom-tom o), Mummy TK, I hope u r coming wit TK,TE, and Bomboy ???

Sasuke, ll be manning d entrance gate. Bros, anybody wey no bring present, no allow am enter o, (no be charity organisation be dis)
wat else …… *scratches head*
Yess, Ajike shld be seated in d VIP section wit Obama, he has to convince her not to quit blogville. i also want to be notified as soon as Shalewa n Sabira comes in, they have lots of questions to answer.

I fink dats all for now, i dey come, make i go baff. Norrin dey happen

**GLORY BE TO GOD**

My Hair dresser

2008-07-08T14:20:00.017+01:00

Hey guys, hope u r all good??? but dis lagos rain is sumn else o, weda these bus drivers and okada riders dey plan with rain, so dem go increase their fare, i nor sabi o, lol
now' I dont joke with my hair in d sense dat i can travel or even trek to ijebu ode to make my hair. it doesn't really matter who, when n how i made it as far as it comes out extra extrafine (n for d rest of d week, na so so compliment upon compliments wit a lil’ bit of toasting i go dey hear, :)

newayz in my quest for 'beauty'(no be say i no fine o) i discovered seyi (not real name). She is light complexioned, not too tall, in her early 20's (i tink) and very skilled in her job (weaving, braiding,tonging, fixing) but seyi likes to do; even when she's on duty. Her strategy... she receives a call on her 4one, tells d client to grant her 5mins to run an errand, but returns 30 mins later, full of explantions wey no get head, most of her customers dont complain b cos they kno she gives dem d best.

But seyi pulled a stunt in front of my korokoro eyes last week sunday, dat has left me numb(till now sef); I had gone to her salon in the afternoon to retouch my hair, i met one of her girls, asked afta seyi n was told she had gone to deliver an urgent message; in my head (indeed), newayz , since i wanted seyi to do it, i sat down to wait, luckily for me, i was d only client. after waiting for long time listening to salon gossip, Seyi dashed into ther salon, sat on one of d chairs, picked up one old magazine lying around, hitched up her skirt n began to fan her kini; It was after she had finished fanning it dat she was saw me,

“ah fine aunty”, she gushed “welcome o, hope say e neva tey wen u come???” me wey still open mouth, na soo i use style close am,

“ehn, i replied, “i neva tey, shey u well so???? i asked “ah norrin do me, mo'wapa”, with dat she stood up, came close to me and asked me wat i wanted to do to my hair, as she reached for my scarf, na so i jump up, carry my kit (nor be me n her, who kno werrin dos hands jus do finish) and walked to where weavons displayed, in my head, i begin plan how to leave the salon, still clutching my kit, i asked for an imaginary weavon,

“seyi”, i said, “i want to fix one weavon like dat, e no too long, no too short, e get small curls, n dem dey tong am,

“wats the name????,' she asked,

“i cant remember, but if i see am , i go kno am”, i replied

“shey na chinese? noble? amigos? diva? nina or bebe curl??”,

“No” i told her, “inshort make i go bring d mag wey i see am, e dey house”.

“Ehen, dat one go good, i dey wait for u'”, she told me.

My pipo na so i carry my two right leg, run comot for there, (una dey laff, if na una nko?? lol) but i'm not happy o, cos i ended up wit one mgbeke-ish looking style like dat :)

Now, i 'm in a dilemma, i want seyi to continue making my hair, but i dont need to see her 'stunts'(there's no telling wat she ll do next). i'm thinking of going there (maybe next week) to confront her about her 'habits' but wat if she takes offence n sees it as poke-nosing; b4 una begin call me 'aproko', i see her as a younger sister, who just needs guidance, Wat do u think??????

I dey feel like....

2008-07-02T16:05:00.024+01:00

Awon temi, na jeje i dey for my corner o, dey mind my business wey dis 4 musketeers: prisco , ibiluv, tairebabs and buttercup gang up to TAG ME, upon say i get exemption leta from tagging :-) newayz, since its has to do wit music and my oga don comot, make i do now.

The rules:
1. Put Your iTunes/ Music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THE SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
4. After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know (hehehehe, dis I like)

So here goes:
*IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Dem mama-timaya
una dey c temptation???? lollll

*WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Fefenefe- Tony teuila ft Tic-tac
aaah!! which kind fefenefe ?? tic-tac, come o i hear say u don relocate to 9ja now, oya come xplain o, loll

*WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
True love- Tuface
need i say more????

*HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Close to u- Wande coal ft Dbanj
yess, i nor go lie, i need to be close to - (name withheld) n i dont mind small koboko too, lolllll

*WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
No one knos 2mrw-Asa
LMAO haba!!! but no body kno's 2mrw shey????

*WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Let dem say-Nomoreloss
Shege -jaguar!!!!, how dis thing take kno, lolllll

*WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Koleyewon- Eedirs abdulkarem
yesso o, pam pam ti pam pam pam-pamm!! Koleye iwo' nor, lol

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Sho like 'e- Jazzman olofin
LMAO!! b4 nko

*WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Ogologoma- Timaya
ohhh!! dis one dey 'tortorri' me for bodi, nothing beats it, i tell u.

*WHAT IS 2+2?
Right here- Tuface
ehen now, abi werrin una tink???

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Jailer- Asa
huh?????

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
U r still d one- Sunny neji
Ok na!!! Shebi una kno unaa sef .

*WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Adara- Sasha
*sings* Hey, keep ur head up dont u cry!! U can make it if u try!!, .........(chop mouth)....... ADARA, lollll

*WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Loke – Dbanj
Nuf 'said,

*WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Malaria- soty
Dis one pass me o, lol

*WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Say u believe me- plantation boyz
hehehehe, i believe una na but not everytime o, esp wen una say 'no money' *wide grin*

*WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Roll it- Psquare
yess o, i go soooooo roll am ehn, lollll

*WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Adupe- Tunde & Wunmi Obe
I cast, i bind, i reject, i scata...., how can they be singing 'baba ti'se se o, at my funeral, ???dem nor go cryyyyyyyyyy?????

*WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I no want trouble- Stylplus
hehehehehehehe, dis is wat i always say wen i see person wey fit beat me, lollllll

*WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Loving you everday- faze
Ok, i confess, i confess dat ... dat..... i luv 'peeto',.

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
You need somebody- faze
sooooo on point guys, u need someone like me, yeah me...., lolllll

Finally
*WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
I dey feel like- tuface
yessssso i dey feel like........ like...... abeg, werrin i dey feel like sef, lollll NOW it gives me great pleasure to tag: ~~Scofield/molly~~ lolll i meant Standtall, Chi-grace, Aphrodite, Ajike n Ejura. No excuses peeps, lolllll

* GOD IS GOOD *

2008-07-01T09:00:00.007+01:00

HaVE yOU tHANKEd HIM tOdaY ???

TRUE OR FALSE (vol 1)

2008-06-26T10:25:00.043+01:00

1. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying; Can anyone confirm dis??
2. 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2". Qmoney na true???
3. Any month that has a Friday the 13th also has a Wednesday the 25th; NDQ pls verify!!
4. Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better. 007, is dis true ??
5. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair, Smaragd pls verify
6. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321; *scratches head* Kemmie over to u
7. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants; Chari na true??
8. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. Aaaah Mo’gbe!!! Who wants an ipod??
9. Most lipstick contains fish scales. Wat about lipgloss?????
10. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different; Naijalines pls verify!!
11. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there; Tairebabs hope u ve taking note :-)
12. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin; Bumight na true????
13. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. LMAO
14. There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. Nikkysab, pls confirm!!
15. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open; huh??? mgbo Rayo na true????
16. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten; Standtall how far?
17. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would haveproduced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. fact or fiction??
18. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb; Ajike u go try am??? *takes off* :-)
19. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. Afro plzzzzzzzz confirm dis???
20. Should there be a crash; Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane as a precaution.true or false??
21. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad! Really???
22. During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants; huh!! Tinuade na lie??
23. Dolphins sleep with one eye open! So Duchess has other siblings afterall, lolll
24. There are over 58 million dogs in the U.S; chai! bassey and okon needs US visa sharpish :-)
25. There are approximately fifty Bibles sold each minute across the world; Oluwadee, pls confirm
26. As you age, your eye color gets lighter; Mz.dee, cool or not????
27. It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest; Tobenna/Aloofar, pls verify
28. Chimps are the only animals that can recognize themselves in a mirror; I can imagine dem saying , ‘so na me be dis???? lolllllll
29. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white; WHO HAS A GOLDFISH????
30. A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage; 134 Elitz magazine can u verify dis???
31. Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears.huh!!! Minky, true or false??
32. The largest McDonald's is in Beijing, China - measuring 28,000 square feet. It has twenty nine cash registers; WOW!!!
33. The chicken is one of the few things that man eats before it's born and after it's dead. so….. true Chi-grace/Shally, wat else??
34. According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg. Jaycee oya cornfirm n tell us
35. An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.; Haba!! Jinta is dis possible???
36. The youngest pope was 11 years old; Prisco I need his name sharpish!!!
37. Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning; LMAO, dis I ll like to see
38. In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons; Fresh&Fab pls confirm dis????
39. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue; Ejura werrin u think??
41. A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex; FFF pls verify
42. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. Mummy TK/Lady A is dis possible??
43. 25% of women think money makes a man sexier; LoL Ms.Emotions, mgbo’na true?
44. Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. It's called parthenogenesis; so…Who wants to be a turkey????
45.Eachday,there are over 120 million sexual intercourse taking place all over the world*coughs*FantasyQ/Arphrodite/James tubman NA TRUE?????
46. In 2006, there were 398 million mobile (or cell) phones in China. wow!! Jarrai pls confirm dis!
47. Left handed people live slightly shorter lives than right handed people; Not me talk am o! Shacrown, is dis true?
48. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure; Now wat about dat pig??????? Ibiluv, wat do u think
49. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society; Guys, True or False????
50. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate; Simplegal/ Dee/Debbie/Sabira, fact or fiction???
NO SPYING, NO PEEPING, NO OMOKRIKRI :-)

" Mummy! Mummy! see ya bum-bum "

2008-06-17T11:55:00.005+01:00

Is it proper for parents to bathe with their kids?????

What a She-it!!!

2008-06-10T16:39:00.029+01:00

Oops!!! apparently, he eat too much beans or kuli-kuli before starting the marathon.This one na real public disgrace. Hope we have all learnt from his she-it *wide grin* BUT wait o WAT IF NA U????

PS: Hope i didnt spoil anybody's appetite o, i cant fit shout, lollllll

bits n pieces

2008-06-09T16:32:00.014+01:00

Gray hairs....Who loves em!!

2008-06-05T10:32:00.025+01:00

I ran into an old friend yesterday at CMS, we hugged and dat was when i noticed her hair, wow!!! it was full of grays, something dat wasnt there when we were at school, una kno' me na (as an aproko), i asked her 'where she made her hair n she was like, made ke??? its natural o, awon temi' na so i open mouth like jide kosoko:-)
'Arent u too young to have gray hairs, cos if my calculation is correct, i'm older than u and i havent started sprouting grays yet? i told her, na so she look me from my head to my shoes, 'ah Lg, she replied, so u mean having gray hair makes me old? na three for u o, anyhoos in my case its hereditary, my mum started having gray hair when she was just 17, at this point i burst out laughing, Gray hair at 17 ke? something is wrong somewhere o' i told her, lollllll newyaz, we exchanged 4one numbers and promised to keep in touch,but as soon as i got to the office na so i begin google gray hairs @ 17, lolll make una nor mind me o but seriously, gray hairs at 17 ke? dem do me?? i dont mind having dem wen i 'm OLD, but defintely not now; wetin una feel???

While u are at it, enjoy this joke :

A senior citizen decided to visit the social security office to sign up for His benefits.Upon His arrival the clerk asked for proof of His age. When he reached for His wallet the embarrassed man realized he had left it home. After explaining His problem to the clerk,she replied, "Don`tworry, just open your shirt, and if your chest hair is gray, you will qualify." The senior citizen opened up His shirt and was soon signed up for His benefits.Upon arriving home, he related the story to His wife. She looked at him,smiled and said, 'Too bad you didnt drop your pants. You would have qualified 4 disability too!

Wat do u tink of d 'Bloggers Register'
	Great idea, lets give it a shot.
	Not sure, some of 'us' still prefer being anonymous.
	wetin consign me :)

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